Lou: “It’s called male bonding. Haven’t you even seen Wild Hogs?”

Nick: “Excuse me miss, what color is Michael Jackson?”

Lou: “We could combine Viagra with fucking  twitter, twittagra boom.”

Lou: “Whatever, semantics, I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina.”

Adam: “You look like Kid ‘N Play.” Nick: “That’s actually 2 people.”

Jacob: “Who are you, Hunter S. Thompson?”

Kelly: “I feel pregnant.”

Phil: “Is this a rape?” Jacob: “Are we gonna rape him?”

Jacob: “So when you want to find porn or directions you Lougal it?”

Lou: “You want port or starboard, huh, what hole do you want, Uptown or downtown?”

Nick: “Hurry up, I can see the ’90s!”

Lou: “I get hard whenever I want okay? I’m fucking hard right now. I’m boy scout hard.”

Jacob: “Is there some kind of retro thing going on this weekend?”

Nick: “I don’t understand how we back in time.”

Jacob: “Can I text you later?” girl: “Can you what?” Jacob: “Are you online at all?” girl: “I have no idea what you’re saying.” Jacob: “How do I get a hold of you?” girl: “Come find me.” Jacob: “That just sounds…exhausting”

Jacob: “Come on, do I really gotta to be the asshole that says we got in this thing and went back in time?”  Nick: “It must be some kind of hot tub time machine.”

Lou: “Tell us how it’s scientifically possible Professor Fucking Hawking in your robot voice?” Jacob: “I will because I write Stargate fanfiction. This is my bread and butter man.”

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