Archive for January 2011 | Monthly archive page

posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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The Green Hornet is a fantastic new superhero movie (based on the 1960s TV series that was based on the 1930s radio program) starring Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christoph Waltz and Cameron Diaz. It’s truly hilarious and plays out more like a comedy than an action film. This is no doubt due to the fact that Seth Rogen was one of the writers. Quotes may contain *SPOILERS*.

Danny Clear: “Chudnofsky? All right. Chudnofsky kiss my ass. Put your lips to my ass and kiss it. French kiss it, tickle it with your gray whiskers…”

Danny Clear: “…this is what you need to get to the top today, not hard work, not dressing like Disco Santa Claus”

Chudnofsky: “You said I’m boring, my gun has 2 barrels, that’s not boring and it was very difficult to make”

James Reid: “This gives you a sense of fulfillment?”
Britt Reid: “I told you dad tomorrow I’m enrolling in ITT Technical Institute to fix computers for a living so I’m, ah”

James Reid: “And I told you to stop taking girls into my garage. Do it again and I’ll change the lock”

Britt Reid: “Will someone explain to me why on the worst day of my life my coffee tastes like shit!?!”

Britt Reid: “Sit with me Kato, tell me your tale.”

Britt Reid: “That is some Ben-Hur shit man”

Kato: “I’m a genius”
Britt Reid: “You are a genius. You’re a mad genius.”
Kato: “I like classical music.”
Britt Reid: “You’re a genius who likes classical music. You know what you are? You’re a human Swiss Army Knife.”
Kato: “I don’t know, what’s that mean?”
Britt Reid: “It’s a little thing and you keep pulling out things and just when you think there couldn’t be anymore cool things a new cool thing comes out and that’s you. You are even dressed like one. You just need a little plus on your chest. Let’s drink more.”

The Green Hornet: “Aw, this looks ominous”

The Green Hornet: “Are you a good driver?”
Kato: “Are you kidding me? When I was a kid me and some friends…”
The Green Hornet: “Kato, not now, drive”

Britt Reid: “Kato, I think this is the greatest moment of my entire life.”
Kato: “I know, mine too.”

Kato: “I’m too fast for TV”

Kato: “We saved those people and all they talk about is this stupid head”

Britt Reid: “What is the one insanely stupid thing every superhero has in common?”
Kato: “tights”
Britt Reid: “no”
Kato: “cape”
Britt Reid: “No Kato. It’s that everyone knows that they’re the good guys, the hero, ya know, all the bad guy has to do is start capping some innocent people and he’s got the good guy by the nuts. It’s in every movie, it’s in every comic book, it’s in everything, it’s so stupid. But if the bad guy thought the good guy was also a bad guy he wouldn’t be able to do that. That’s what we’ll do differently. We will pose as villains but we’ll act like heroes.”

Britt Reid: “Look at us, we’ve both been completely wasting our potential, you a little bit more than me. I mean what do you want your autobiography to be called, ‘Oil Changes and Cappuccinos’, because I think ‘Balls Deep In Shit Kickin Dudes’ by Kato is a much cooler sounding book. I would read that book and I don’t read shit but when they adapted it into a movie I would see the shit out of it.”

Mike Axford: “let’s not blow this thing out of proportion”
Britt Reid: “I will blow this guy in any proportion I like”

Britt Reid: “That’s it, I got it, this man is called The Green Bee.”

Chudnofsky: “Decapitated statues? I decapitated real people.”

Britt Reid: “I’m just sitting here thinking, why are you only now pursuing this in your, uh? Kato, help me out here, uh, twilight…no, no, no, not like the movie. I guess if we’re doing movies it would be more like Cocoon or something like that. Later in one’s years”

Britt Reid: “You’ve displayed two things, balls and if there’s one thing I like on my women it’s balls”

Britt Reid: “Kato, I want you to take my hand and I want you to come with me on this adventure”
Kato: “I’ll go with you but I don’t want to touch you”

The Green Hornet: “I think we’re in the hood Kato”

Kato: “I don’t want to talk…I barely speak English”
The Green Hornet: “You’re speaking English right now”

Chudnofsky: “This is exactly what I was talking about, I’m not as scary as some idiot in a green mask? C’mon”

Britt Reid: “Is anyone safe at the mercy of DOT DOT DOT, the Green Hornet and I want those dots, I want dots in the paper, okay”

Britt Reid: “I need to look cool now? What the hell? You said my outfit was pimp. I remember even thinking that’s a weird word for him to use, pimp, but you said it was pimp”

Britt Reid: “Did you put this diaper on me?”

Britt Reid: “Mono? Yeah well, it’s better than Herpes, right”

Britt Reid: “I know we’ve become renegade superheroes and there’s a lot of stress involved with that but you don’t gotta freak out dude”

Britt Reid: “Girls are a drag Kato, thank God we have each other.”

Britt Reid: “We’ve got Hornet mail! He emailed! It happened!”

Britt Reid: “Another adventure for The Green Hornet and his nameless sidekick, bum, bum, bum”

Britt Reid: “Oh, it means that, uh, you think you’re an awesome karate dude that can do anything and I’m an incompetent schmuck who needs a gun that shoots farts at people”

Britt Reid: “No, that’s a filthy gesture”

Kato: “You hit on everything that moves. I’m amazed you haven’t hit on me yet.”

Kato: “You’re a yuppie wimp and I’m a martial arts expert who grew up penniless on the streets”

Lenore Case: “He called me a scandalous minx and then he fired me”

Chudnofsky: “…Bloodnofsky, I was gonna wear red for blood, get it? That’s scary and cool”

Britt Reid: “Yes, I understand, you just got played by a playa”

Chudnofsky: “I am Bloodnofsky, I’ve killed a thousand before and I’ll kill a thousand more…”

Kato: “Hand over the sushi”
The Green Hornet: “Uh, yeah, hand it over”

The Green Hornet: “Holy shit, ejector seats. You actually built them”

The Green Hornet: “Here’s the story, we’re on our way to a costume party, okay”

Lenore Case: “Why did you keep asking me to do research on The Green Hornet when you are The Green Hornet?”
Britt Reid: “We don’t know what we’re doing. We needed you to help us. Don’t you see? You’re the mastermind.”

RENT

BUY

Yes, I do realize you probably don’t need a Green Hornet or Kato costume now (unless you are into role playing, cosplay or conventions, oh wait, you may need one) but it’s definitely something to think about for next Halloween.

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posted by on Movies/TV, Netflix Streaming

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I have a penchant for goofy sex comedies so I’m sure that some of you do too. Netflix calls them Late Night Comedies. So in the spirit of my last Netflix Streaming post on horror movies I decided to list some of these fun flicks for you to check out. Simply click on the title of the movie to be whisked away and watch it right now. Ah, the joys of Netflix Streaming, getting it right now.

COLLEGE
American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007) (Not Currently Available)

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) (Not Currently Available)

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005)

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Faces You Can Trust

“Gentlemen, it’s Friday afternoon we’ve got a full tank of gas, a quarter ounce of weed, 3 cases of beer, a 10 pound tank of nitrous, we’re under age”-Naked Mile

I was one of those people who initially avoided the American Pie direct to DVD releases like the plague. I had loved the original trilogy (well 2 wasn’t as strong but American Wedding is highly underrated) but I thought these would just be crude and not funny at all. While they definitely have less heart than the originals they are fuckin’ funny. Netflix is definitely the way to catch these. Don’t watch them on Comedy Central, all the crazy shit is edited out. Of course the one unifying character in all of these movies is Eugene Levy as wise old Mr. Noah Levenstein (Jim’s father in the original trilogy) because no one gets more snatch than Eugene Levy. Another common point of interest is that many times the challenge is a drinking contest, which is definitely my favorite type of contest.

The ‘plot’ of Band Camp is that Stifler’s younger brother goes to band camp. Naked Mile is about the black sheep of the Stifler family who just cannot get laid. He and his friends decide to participate in the Naked Mile (which is, of course, a marathon that you run naked). This movie teaches lots of important lessons like that girls really like when guys have permanent raging hard ons. Both Naked Mile and Beta House feature Steve Talley as Dwight Stifler who is really funny. Naked Mile features a frat that is full of really talented, horndogging midgets (sorry PC shit is not applicable to this post) and Beta House features the geek frat.

FYI: The newest film from 2009 is Book of Love which is not available on streaming but probably will be in the future. American Pie Reunion starring the original cast will be released in 2012.
Unrated (all 3 films)

Revenge of the Nerds (1984) (Not Currently Available)

“Are all nerds as good as you?”
“Yes”
“How come?”
“Cause all Jocks ever think about is sports, all we ever think about is sex”
The classic college comedy about a nerd fraternity that goes up against a jock fraternity.
Rated R for adult content, adult language and brief nudity.


MAKING PORN IS FUNNY

Finding Bliss (2009)
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This film is a little bit too sweet for the genre but still good. Leelee Sobieski stars as a virgin, wannable filmmaker who can only get work at a porn studio, which she considers beneath her. Of course she falls for a guy. Plus there are a lot of jokes about porn. The film costars Kristen Johnston, Jamie Kennedy, Denise Richards and Matthew Davis.
Rated R-Strong sexual content including graphic dialogue and nudity and language.

I Want Candy (2007)
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I probably wouldn’t have given this movie a shot but Carmen Electra has a small role in it. The film is about 2 British film students who think they have talked their way into the movie business only to find out that it’s actually the adult movie business, cripes. It takes 15 or 20 minutes for the film to pick up but then it gets fun.
Rated R-Sexual content and language

The Amateurs (2005)
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“For half a dozen guys unloading on you so you look like a melted candle today we will gladly pay you on Tuesday. I don’t know who’s gonna go for that one”

Jeff Bridges is a loser (it’s a movie, so this is entirely possible in this universe) who is broke and feels like a schmuck in front of his son. Obviously the only way to get out of this hole is to get the entire town who is also down on their luck to help him make an amateur porno. Luckily who knows someone who works at a video store (Patrick Fugit, Almost Famous) so this is just a step away from happening. Ted Danson, Tim Blake Nelson, Joe Pantoliano, Lauren Graham and Jeanne Tripplehorn costar.
Rated R-Sexual content and language


SUNDRY

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011)

“Commemorative Labor Day orgy t-shirts.”

This movie has only been available to view by the general public for less than a year and I’ve already watched it at least a handful of times. Yes, it’s that good. It’s about a group of old friends who gather yearly for big blowout theme parties. When this years seems that it may be their last they decide to get down with one last over the top bash, an ORGY! This hilarious movie actually takes you through the planning and execution of said orgy. The immensely talented cast includes Jason Sudeikis, Lake Bell, Nick Kroll, Tyler Labine, Martin Starr, Will Forte, Lucy Punch, Lindsay Sloane and Leslie Bibb.
Rated R for pervasive strong sexual content, graphic nudity and language.

The Long Weekend (2005)

Chris Klein and Brendan Fehr star in this comedy about two bros, one a type A workaholic and the other a total DOG.
Rated R for pervasive strong and crude sexual content, gross out humor, language and brief drug use.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)


“Don’t worry about returning the favor. Men don’t really like oral sex…it’s just a bad rumor that was started sometime in the ’50s.”

This is definitely one of my favorite dirty comedies. It stars the awesome trio of Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate and Selma Blair playing besties. Diaz & Applegate are total players until Diaz falls for the totally adorable Thomas Jane at a night club. This sets Diaz and Applegate on a road trip to see if she kinda might ya know like have a crush on him. Awesome, WATCH IT NOW!
Unrated

Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

“You haven’t spoken to me in, like, four years Jake.”
“Actually, it’s more like six, because the time you’re referring to when we were standing in line at that movie theater, I was actually saying “hey” to the person right behind you.”

This is one of those flicks that I can’t believe some people haven’t seen yet. It’s a spoof of popular ’90s teen sex comedies and John Hughes teen movies. The frickin awesome cast includes Chris Evans, Eric Christian Olsen, Chyler Leigh, Mia Kirshner, Jaime Pressly, Sam Huntington, Samm Levine and Cerina Vincent.
Rated R

Tomcats (2001)

Tomcats is one of my favorite comedies. I’ve watched it about a billion times. Jerry O’Connell is a totally unlucky guy who ends up being hugely in debt to a casino after gambling with his best bud (Horatio Sanz). A crazy bet that all of the friends agreed to years ago, the last single man wins the dough, could bail him out. All he has to do is get Shannon Elizabeth to make Jake Busey (total poon hound) fall for her. Jaime Pressly and Bill Maher costar.
Rated R for strong sexual content including dialogue and language.
Love Stinks (1999)

“You’ve put me off women. I’m gay now. And not just a little gay, full on Liberace gay.”
When a man and woman meet at a friend’s wedding they start dating. It goes well until she tries to force him into marriage. The movie stars French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson, Bill Bellamy, Tyra Banks and Jason Bateman.
Rated R for language and sexual content.

Not Currently Available

Dirty Love (2005) (Not Currently Available)
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“You can try a bunch of cheesy lines on my but why bother? What I’m telling you is no matter what you do, you’re gonna get laid.”
“I don’t get it.”

I don’t want to oversell it but this is definitely one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen and you may not have even heard of it. I’ve been a subscriber to Maxim for years so months before the DVD release I kept seeing the full pages ads for this new Jenny McCarthy movie. As a fan of McCarthy I had to check it out. McCarthy is a photographer who breaks up with her narcissistic boyfriend and then tries to get through the breakup. The film was directed, on a low (at times, no) budget, by McCarthy’s then husband John Mallory Asher (Gary on the TV version of Weird Science, the best version!) and written by McCarthy. The craziest thing about this movie is that is has a lot of funny, but similar to real life things in it. Except for the bass, I’m hoping that’s never happened to anyone. The film costars Carmen Electra (hell yes!) and Eddie Kaye Thomas.
Unrated

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009) (Not Currently Available)

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As I mentioned in my post My Top Movies of 09 this Jeremy Piven comedy wasn’t as high profile as it should have been. He plays the sort of jerky character he’s perfected on Entourage who specializes in keeping businesses from going under with huge sales extravaganzas, not for philanthropy reasons but for a hefty price. The cast includes Ving Rhames, Craig Robinson, Rob Riggle and Jordana Spiro (My Boys). I would recommend this if you are a fan of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
Rated R-Sexual content, nudity, pervasive language and some drug material

Still Waiting (2009) (Not Currently Available)


Still Waiting is the hilarious sequel to the flick Waiting. Some minor characters from the first film are back in this one. One really interesting turn was that they took Calvin from the first film (really meek, afraid to pee in public restrooms) and made him into a sleazy douche. the plot is about the competition between Shenaniganz and another restaurant, the Ta-Ta’s Wing Shack.
Rated R for strong crude and sexual content throughout including graphic dialogue, and for language, nudity and drug use.

Sex Drive (2008) (Not Currently Available)
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This is one of those loser teen travels cross country to have sex with a girl movies that always includes some laughs. Clark Duke (Hot Tub Time Machine) costars and there is a weird cameo by Seth Green on the joys of Rumspringa.
Unrated-Strong crude and sexual content, nudity, language, some drug and alcohol use

A Dirty Shame (2004) (Not Currently Available)
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This is definitely one of the dirtier John Waters movies. It’s about everyone exploring their weird, gross fetishes. It is of course set in Baltimore and has an odd religious element. The film stars Tracey Ullman, Johnny Knoxville, Selma Blair and Chris Isaak.
Rated NC-17-Pervasive sexual content

Freshman Orientation (2004) (Not Currently Available)
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This is not what I would call a good movie, even by sex comedy standards. However you get Sam Huntington (Jam in Detroit Rock City, a werewolf on Being Human) being a dick who decides to act gay for a chick. If you are a fan of his you would definitely want to check it out as a guilty pleasure. Plus there are some weird, fun things here, like John Goodman as the owner of a gay bar who shows him the ropes & a gay makeover montage!
Rated R-Strong sexual content, language and some drug use.

Fast Food
(1989) (Not Currently Available)
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College kids accidentally invent a sauce for hamburgers that makes everyone who eats it horny & hilarity ensues. Plus you get Jim Varney (Ernest) playing a jerk.
Rated PG-13

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) (Not Currently Available)

“Come on, do I really gotta to be the asshole that says we got in this thing and went back in time?”
“It must be some kind of hot tub time machine.”

Yes, I’ve mentioned this movie quite often but I just love it so much. It’s about a group of friends who want to relive their youth at a ski resort. A magic hot tub lets them return to the 80s and they decide if they will make the same choices or not. The movie stars John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry and Crispin Glover. It’s so freaking awesome.
Rated R for adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually oriented nudity, and drug abuse.

Sex and Death 101 (2007) (Not Currently Available)

For a sex comedy starring the yummy Simon Baker and Winona Ryder this movie has a really bum rap. I notice people who (most likely) haven’t even watched it going out of their way to insult it. They lump it into Winona Ryder’s recent movies that they call awful (when most, like this, are pretty good, who insults The Ten, really?). Anyway Baker plays a real cad. He gets emailed a list of all of his past and future sexual conquests and now finds getting busy even easier. Of course it can’t all be easily sailing, that’s where the comedy comes in. He also finds out that after he does the last woman on the list he will die.
Rated R for adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually oriented nudity and drug abuse.

MARRIAGE
Wedding Daze (aka The Pleasure of Your Company, The Next Girl I See) (2007) (Not Currently Available)
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Jason Biggs plays another in a line of too nice guys (American Pie, Loser, My Best Friend’s Girl) but I think this typecasting is okay because he is adorable and does it so well. He impulsively proposes to a waitress after losing his girlfriend and the waitress actually accepts because she has her own problems that she wants out of. The awesome Isla Fisher plays the girl in question. Of course many hijinx ensue. The film was written and directed by Michael Ian Black. You will never think of a yarmulke the same way again.
Rated R-Sexual content and some language.

Buying the Cow (2002) (Not Currently Available)
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“Wow! A dollar! Now I can quit stripping, go back to vet school, and save my sick pony.”

This is definitely an overlooked gem. If you are also a huge fan of Tomcats you will love this too. Jerry O’Connell stars as a guy who is getting the marriage ultimatum, you know, marry me or it’s over. His girlfriend, of course, leaves town for work at this important time so he can have time to run around and figure things out. This includes trying to find someone that he has built up in his mind as “the one”. His guys friends (Bill Bellamy and Ryan Reynolds) offer lots of support at strip clubs (where since it’s a movie, Alyssa Milano works but doesn’t get naked) and the like. This is also a movie in which Ryan Reynolds performs “the tuck”, questions his sexuality and basically makes an ass of himself (it’s glorious).
Rated R-Sexual content, nudity and language.

Last Updated: December 2012

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posted by on Photo Sets

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So a couple of weeks before the highly anticipated (by me) film Burlesque came out I decided that I had to do a photo set inspired by it. Of course I got sidetracked. I couldn’t just throw something together because I figured that I needed to buy an elaborate bustier and a prop glitter microphone. Then it had been so long that I figured that I would just wait for the DVD release.

However, PinupLifestyle announced that they were having a Burlesque contest so I figured that was just the push I needed to make this thing happen. They finally put the really cute beige French style lingerie I had been lusting after on sale at Target and then I just added some accessories (turns out I already had a suitable microphone). while I was shooting I listened to the Burlesque Soundtrack and Christina Aguilera’s Back to Basics album. I was sad to find that the 2nd disc (my favorite) is now skipping and I need to replace it. First go vote by clicking here or on the first picture shown, it’s my submission photo “Seeking Burlesque”. I like it because it’s a bit of a Nomi Malone face. You can view all of the gorgeous ladies submissions here. Voting is open through January 30th.

Enjoy!

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Vote!

 

 

Get the Look

Burlesque

Burlesque by MissEmmaMM featuring panties thongs


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posted by on Fashion/Beauty, Style File

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On Christmas I wore this really cool, very long vintage polyester dress I bought on eBay. It’s from the ’70s & has a really cool ruched chest. As with my last vintage dress it fit well everywhere except my chest, so I had to wear a sports bra again. Since it was so long I paired it with some wedges so it wouldn’t drag on the floor. I also added some cheap costume jewelry, a wooden necklace & plastic bubble bracelet. Plus my sister bought me these really cool elephant earrings because I had told her I rode an elephant earlier in the year. Christmas was pretty nice. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. We just ate, opened presents, sang carols and wore elf hats & reindeer antlers.

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vintage 1970's dress-Holly, Division of Gloria Moret of California, eBay, wedges-Colin Stuart, thrifted

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my dog with a present from my sister, with my brother

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posted by on Movies/TV, Sexy Bitches

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(just click to see the larger images)

This is the first installment of Sexy Bitches which is the female equivalent of my Steamy Guys category.

I thought of doing this post because I had accumulated these pictures on my computer recently while writing a movie rundown including the last installment of Resident Evil. While I was looking for a photo of Milla one of the gorgeous nudes she had shot 2009 for an issue of the French magazine Purple popped up. It made me curious to look at the rest and it was a real run around situation trying to find the photos. The repressed nature of the US when it comes to artistic but non pornographic nudity is pretty ridiculous. So I thought it would be nice to have them right here where someone could easily find them. Plus I included a few more that are awesome.

I’ve been a big fan of Milla Jovovich for years. When I was young she was a super model but always had something special from the others. I think it was her eyes and that she wasn’t afraid to change her hair that made her seem more exotic. Then it seemed really awesome when she started acting. I thought she was awesome in The Fifth Element and The Messenger. Of course, over the years she’s also had huge success with the amazing Resident Evil franchise. I also like when I catch her intermittently in her turns in independent movies.

I knew she had a band but didn’t know much about it until I was waiting on someone in a nail salon one day and read a great article about her passion for music. Then I caught her giving a live performance over the net that she announced on her twitter. They were great and they even played longer than she had planned. I definitely recommend following her twitter as she seems to post cool on set pics when she is able to do so. This is probably on the smaller movies that won’t get her into any type of trouble because I don’t recall seeing much on the last Resident Evil during filming.

In addition to modeling, acting and singing she also had a pretty cool but now defunct clothing line, Jovovich-Hawk. I look forward to more kick ass action roles, independent dramas and quirky music from her in the future. Months ago I asked her on twitter about her music and this is what she said, so hopefully when she’s not as busy (hmm, lol) she will record some new stuff.

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FUN FACTS
She speaks English, Russian, Serbian and a little French.

She is currently married to Resident Evil director Paul W.S. Anderson. This is her 3rd marriage.

“We’ve got really infantile mentalities on this movie. We’re like, It’s gross, cool! It’s disgusting, print it! You have to think like a 15 year old, wet dress, zombies, guns, cool!” – Milla Jovovich in reference to Resident Evil (from IMDB.com)

WATCH
(On Netflix)
Faces in the Crowd
Stone
Return to the Blue Lagoon
Married With Children: Fair Exchange-The episode in which she, as a foreign exchange student tried to take Kelly Bundy’s popularity.

BUY


CHECK IT OUT

Milla Jovovich’s Official Site

If you want to see more of Milla nude (photos and videos) I recommend joining Mr. Skin. Check out this clip from them for a taste.

Last Updated: November 2011

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