Archive for February 2011 | Monthly archive page

Movie Quotes: Paul

Feb
2011
28

posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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Italian Poster

"Ready who and for a drawn near encounter?"

Read on for the funniest quotes from the new alien comedy Paul starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Seth Rogen. Quotes may contains spoilers for the film.

Adam Shadowchild: “That is a wonderful cover, 3 tits, awesome.”

Room Service Attendant Jorge: “You guys on honeymoon?”

Room Service Attendant Jorge: “Have a nice honeymoon.”
Graeme Willy: “aw, thank you”

Pat Stevenson: “I like romances.”
Graeme Willy: “It’s kind of a romance.”
Pat Stevenson: “Between a woman and a machine?”
Graeme Willy: “uh, yeah”
Pat Stevenson: “I hear that”

Gus: “What is this, some kinda gay bar?”
Pat Stevenson: “Nah, just a place where you can get a bite to eat and maybe share a close encounter.”
Gus: “yep, sounds like a gay bar”
Clive Gollings: (laughs) “oh no, we’re just friends”

Graeme Willy: “This is like Deliverance.”
Clive Gollings: “They’re going to rape us and break our arms.”
Graeme Willy: “I don’t want my arms broken.”

Graeme Willy: “You made him faint.”
Paul: “It’s not like I set my phaser to faint.”
Graeme Willy: “You have a phaser?”

Paul: “I”m Paul”
Grame Willy: “Paul?”
Paul: “Yeah, it’s a nickname that stuck, I, I, my ship crashed on a dog, it doesn’t matter…”

Haggard: “3 tits, that’s awesome”
O’Reilly: “You guys should give her 4 tits”
Graeme Willy: “That’s just sick.”

Graeme Willy: “What’s the matter Clive?”
Clive Gollings: “There is an alien in the kitchenette making bagels and coffee”
Graeme Willy: “Did you want tea?”

Paul: “ooh, Marmite”

Paul: “If you think about it, it’s time travel”

The Big Guy: “What are they, MI6?”
Haggard: “Negative, just a couple of nerds on the lamb from Comic Con”

Paul: “This is America, kidnapping a Christian, that’s worse than harboring a fugitive”

Paul: “roll over, I’ll do you”
Clive Gollings: “absolutely not, no spoilers”

Ruth Buggs: “Well I am planning on doing a lot of kissing and fornicating so you’d really be helping me out”

Paul: “This is pretty strong shit. I got it from the military actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.”
Graeme Willy: “Bob Dylan’s not dead.”
Paul: “Isn’t he?”

Paul: “Clive likes boning space bears”

Graeme Willy: “Okay, we’re just a couple of regular guys walking down the street with a small cowboy”

O’Reilly: “Holy shit, spaceman balls”
Haggard: “and who has spaceman balls?”
O’Reilly: “Buzz Aldrin”

Haggard: “give me the alien”
Graeme Willy: “get your own alien”

Haggard: “This isn’t your mission.”
Moses Buggs: “I’m on a mission from God.”
Haggard: “Tell him you failed”

Moses Buggs: “God be with you”
Paul: “yeah, whatever dude”

Tara Walton: “I don’t have my toothbrush”
Paul: “Baby where we’re going you don’t need teeth”

Paul: “Well it’s safe to say we’ve all learned something from this, be yourself, speak from your heart, some shit like that, I don’t know”

Paul: “This shit takes off very slowly, it’s a little awkward, goodbye”

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posted by on Movies/TV, Sexuality

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Lady Porn Day was Tuesday but I’m writing about it today, not just because I’m a procrastinator but because creator Rabbit Write is celebrating it all week long. (Plus I had to work a lot Tuesday to pay a bill & yesterday while writing this my computer was attacked by a virus). What is Lady Porn Day? Well according to the site:

“February 22nd is officially Lady Porn Day, a day about exploring porn and masturbation. Because It’s tough trying to explore porn as a girl. There just isn’t much lady-friendly stag.”

I think that this a really positive thing. I don’t have any super interesting stories like some bloggers. Here’s my one, short, not earth shattering story. I’m a big romance novel junkie & that started when my mom, who knew that I loved to read, came home with some books that someone gave her when I was about 11 years old & said “Here’s some more books for you to read”, not realizing that they were historical romance novels with racy (to me at the time) content.

Most people who know me know that I am for women being sexual, watching porn, masturbating, etc. I occasionally review sex toys and costumes for EdensFantasys. I also routinely feature my Steamy Guys category on here to gush all over hot actors that catch my fancy. And let’s not forget when I mentioned my love of Gay Boys Kissing with the best YouTube clips on that subject or when I espoused my love of sex comedies.

So since I don’t have a good personal story I figured that I would share a list of my favorite sexy movies & books (+ pics & clips so you don’t even have to leave my site to get horny). I am not listing actual porn just because I haven’t watched that many so I think it would be ridiculous for me to act like I were a connoisseur of it. I recommend Lucy Vonne’s blog Sexy Blogtime! for reviews of pornos, sex toys & more!

HOT MOVIES/TV:
(click the movie title to watch it on Netflix or Amazon, Netflix is marked with a *)

Delta of Venus *

nice ass!

Because sometimes the passion is so great that you have to fuck on stone stairs.

Yes, I’ve mentioned it before because of my love of Costas Mandylor. This is my go to “dirty movie” right now. It’s basically about a young woman who discovers her sexuality while trying to become an erotic writer. It’s based on a book but I haven’t read it so I couldn’t tell you if it’s good or not.

La Reine Margot

When the movie adaptation of Queen of the Dead came out I went through a hard core Vincent Perez phase. He’s French so he has made a lot of foreign films. This period film is about the passionate life of Margaret of Valois who is played by Isabelle Adjani.

Exit To Eden

Exit To Eden (Elliot’s Bondage Scene!)


A lot of people dislike this movie because the book was serious and they made the movie into a comedy. I enjoy cheesy ’90s comedies so I liked it. The thing I love though is the super sexy Paul Mercurio & his hot ass. Unfortunately aside from this & Strictly Ballroom he hasn’t done much else that I’m interested & apparently now hosts the New Zealand version of Dancing With The Stars.

The Getaway

Kim Basinger Sex Scene With Alec Baldwin

Okay my confession about this movie is that I’ve never watched the whole movie. I just love the above sex scene between then husband and wife Alec Baldwin & Kim Basinger.

Secretary

Secretary is a great movie. It’s about a young woman who starts exploring her sexuality due to her controlling, S&M loving boss. I do have to admit that I am not a fan of the ending but the rest of the movie is great.

Summer Lovers


I’ve had a crush on Peter Gallagher since I was a little girl & watched While You Were Sleeping so naturally when he joined twitter I started hitting on him. He’s really nice & answers a lot of fans on there. One day I caught a movie in which you could see his bare butt so I had to tweet him about it. Then he sent me the above tweet that mentioned that there were more nude movies out there with him. Of course I set out to find the nakedest one. Summer Lovers is about a young couple (played by Peter Gallagher & Darryl Hannah) who are vacationing in Greece. He starts cheating on her and then they start having this menage a trois relationship. There is a lot of nudity in this movie including full frontal Peter Gallagher. There is a scene about Darryl Hannah’s character dripping hot wax on him & his character not enjoying it. So I had to tweet him about that & he sent me the above tweet saying that he didn’t like it either.

The Darjeeling Limited

Okay, I definitely wouldn’t say this is a sexy movie. I just happen to love the above scene when Jason Schwartzman fingers that chick.

Boogie Nights

Since this is a film about a young guy with a huge penis (Mark Wahlberg) becoming a part of the 1970’s porn industry there is a lot of nudity. There are some sexy scenes in here & it’s just a great movie.

Feeling Minnesota
(those links were removed, I shall find alternate links soon)
This was a little quirky flick. A couple of frenzied sex scenes between Keanu Reeves & Cameron Diaz take place. You know that I love me some Keanu.

To Die For

To Die For is sexy because Nicole Kidman is not only smoking hot in it but also doing things that she really shouldn’t be doing, like seducing a high school student (an infuriatingly young & hot Joaquin Phoenix). She is a woman who is on a mission to become a news reporter.

Witness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdw3stAjowc
Witness is not a sexual movie. It’s about Harrison Ford hiding out in an Amish community but the part when they sing & dance in the barn is so sweetly sexy.

Queer As Folk

QAF was basically the most fantastical gay soap opera ever. If you like guy/guy action then I highly recommend it.

The L Word (seasons 2-5) *

The L Word was supposed to be the lesbian answer to QAF. It’s a good show but definitely much more serious than QAF. I don’t usually think that thin girls are that hot but you know that Shane totally is.

Nip/Tuck (every season, 1-6) *

Queer As Folk is about the debaucherous lives of two hot plastic surgeons. Yes, Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) is incredibly chauvinistic but there are a lot of hot scenes on here, regardless of that. There is so much sex on Nip/Tuck that if you are marathoning them & an episode pops up without a sex scenes you start salivating like Pavlov’s dog, where is the sex?!?

True Blood

Yes, everyone and their mother loves True Blood but hey there is definitely some sexiness going on here. My favorite hunks on the show are Sam & Jason.


HOT BOOKS

I wish that I had a list of definitively hot books but I read a lot. When I was a teen I used to participate in the reading program at the library & it wasn’t unusual for me to go through 100 books in the summer. I’m a big fan of Harlequin romance novels. The problem is that they are a bit like fast food, fast and forgettable, so usually particular books don’t really stand out to me. My favorite line is their Blaze line because it has the most sex. It still has romance though. In the past I have tried to read straight up erotica & I didn’t really care for books that were that graphic. While I was growing up my favorite was their Historical line. I was also a huge fan of a line of their that was about strong women who were out fighting wars or being assassins, etc, called Silhouette Bombshell but the line was discontinued. My favorite Harlequin author is Cindy Dees & even though the line itself is gone she still writes about a female Special Ops unit from that line called the Medusas, so I definitely recommend checking out anything by her.

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Photo Set: Call Me

Feb
2011
16

posted by on Photo Sets

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This photo set was shot for the newest Pinup Lifestyle contest, “On The Phone”. Please go here or click on the first image to vote for my submission, “Call Me”. You can view the rest of the lovely entries here. Voting is open through February 27th.

I thought it would be really cute to wear these vintage longline underwear that I bought from Vintage Treasures Girl Boutique on eBay. I love how they were originally white but were dyed hot pink. After a couple of return trips to thrift stores I found an old phone to spray paint pink. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a really old phone but this worked in a pinch. It also wasn’t fully dry so I did get a little paint on myself but I didn’t edit it out of the photos because I thought that it looked kind of cool. You can view all of the full photos in the different photo effects in my Photobucket album.

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I played my Best of Britney Spears CD that I made last year while I was posing. I listen to it often, it’s especially great for exercising too. I replicated most of it here except that I also have her song She’ll Never Be Me from her unreleased album Original Doll on my CD. You can find it on torrent sites.

Get The Look

Call Me

Call Me by MissEmmaMM on Polyvore.com

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posted by on Movies/TV, Netflix Streaming

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First of all, let’s just say it, most romantic comedies are not that funny. They can still be fun/depressing to watch. Often they are a great guilty pleasure. So kick back with one of these and a giant tub of ice cream the next time you get dumped (kidding, romantic comedy cliche).

The big difference between a romantic comedy and a romantic drama is in the drama one of the main characters usually dies. Many times the studios even try to market a romantic drama as a romantic comedy to increase the box office. We shall try to avoid those in this case. Also, independent comedies are usually pretty heavy and not really “comedies” either. Don’t get me wrong I’m a fan of a lot of independent movies but they will not be light.

Just click the titles to go directly to them on Netflix.

Beautiful Girls (1996) (Available Until June 1, 2016)
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“So you’re the little neighborhood Lolita.”
“So you’re the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains.”

Beautiful Girls is a great film. I hadn’t watched in a while and couldn’t believe how well it had held up. However I’m still not sure if I should put it here because it may be considered more dramatic but there is dark humor but it’s not super dark. The film is about Timothy Hutton’s character who is conflicted and visits his family. While he is there he develops feelings for his teen neighbor Natalie Portman because she has her whole life ahead of her. He always spends a lot of time with his friends. All of them have their own problems and all of their characters are really fleshed out, which is often ignored in a film like this. The film costars Lauren Holly, Michael Rappaport, Mira Sorvino, Matt Dillon, Uma Thurman and Rosie O’Donnell.

My Date With Drew (2003) (Available Until November 1, 2012)
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This is actually a pseudo-documentary by Brian Herzlinger. He wants to make a documentary about the search for love but he knows that he needs a hook to get it sold once it’s made. The hook becomes taking Drew Barrymore out on a date. Will he get through to meet her and will he meet the woman of his dreams? Well, you can probably figure those things out by the fact that it got made. It does have a little twist part way through. I recommend this if you enjoy movies about making movies.

Big (1988) (Available Until July 17, 2012)
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I’m sure that you’ve seen Big before. Tom Hanks is a young boy who just wants to get childhood over with so he can be a grown up. Somehow once he magically grows up (thanks Zoltar) he is basically handed success on a plate. It’s a cute fantasy film but there is a, slightly creepy, love story in there too. The film costars Elizabeth Perkins and David Moscow.

Intern (2000) (Available Until June 30, 2012)
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I was a huge fan of the Jeremy Irons’ version of Lolita back when it was released and thought that Dominique Swain was fantastic in it. Ever since then I have tried to keep up with seeing all of her films. Intern is definitely one of my favorites. She stars as an intern at a fashion magazine who is just trying to keep everything together and maybe get together with a guy, who of course, usually dates little models. The film costars Ben Pullen, Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Paulina Porizkova, James Urbaniak and Andre Leon Talley.

Loser (2000) (Available Until June 1, 2012)
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After the success of American Pie Jason Biggs was often cast as an amiable loser. This is a great example of that. He’s a nice, small town guy who comes to New York to attend college but doesn’t fit in with his hard partying, raping roommates. He also falls for the ‘I’m so different because I’m poor but wear Lip Service’ Mena Suvari who is in love with her professor Greg Kinnear (he was everywhere back then). The film was written and directed by Amy Heckerling of Clueless fame.

NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE

Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009) (not currently available)
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Two yuppie New Yorkers who are in the process of a divorce witness a murder and end up having to hide out in a country setting. I actually rented this movie expecting it to be truly terrible and that I’d be able to get a laugh out of it. It’s actually enjoyable though. It is very formulaic (fish out of water) but charming. It was fun to see Mary Steenburgen and Sam Elliott as the couple who take them in. The most distracting thing is the aging of the 2 leads, Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant, but no one gets to stay young forever unless you have a painting of yourself stashed away somewhere.

New In Town (2009)
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Renee Zellweger is a know it all business woman who goes to freezing Minnesota to run a factory. Harry Connick Jr. relunctantly falls for her. This is more on the okay side but if you need a Zellweger fix it can do in a pinch.

Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber (2005) (not currently available)
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“I barely have enough time to keep a journal let alone breast feed an orphan.”

I highly recommend this made for TV movie. Jennifer Love Hewitt stars as Katya, a wannabe socialite who actually gets by using credit and lies. Her main goal at the time is to go to a big party but the girl who is throwing it (for good reason) is excluding her. Plus she has to try to keep her new scheming assistant from showing her up at work. Joey Lawrence plays her gay bestie. She falls for a really hot guy but there are complications.

Maid in Manhattan (2002) (not currently available)
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If you want to see a Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy you probably really want to watch The Wedding Planner but when that isn’t available you can watch this in its place. Lopez is a maid at a fancy hotel who, in a case of mistaken identity, starts seeing the wealthy Ralph Fiennes character. They don’t have the best chemistry and her precocious child is annoying but the fashion and supporting cast are pretty good. The film costars Chris Eigeman, Amy Sedars, Frances Conroy, Stanley Tucci, Natasha Richardson and Bob Hoskins.

The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) (not currently available)
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“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.”

I’m a huge fan of Oscar Wilde so I have seen most of the film adaptations of his plays. The plot is about mistaken identity and betrothal and is set in the 1890’s. I recommend anything Wilde related for the dialogue. This version of The Importance of Being Earnest has a great cast that includes Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Frances O’Connor, Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson and Reese Witherspoon. I haven’t watched this in a while but I recall thinking that Witherspoon didn’t do well at playing Cecily.

Someone Like You (2001) (not currently available)
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“You’re so easy to talk to, unlike my current cow”

It took me a while to actually watch this movie after it came out. The ads that included a then teeny tiny Ashley Judd running around doing cheers in her underwear while eating ice cream didn’t draw me in. However after I caught it on TV I reluctantly became a fan. Judd is a wannabe writer who works on a talk show (this was a popular career choice for female leads in romantic comedies for quite a while). After she is jilted by yet another jerk in her life, the then (everyone thought) poised for stardom Greg Kinnear, she starts obsessively studying love and sex in nature and comes up with the ‘New Cow’ theory. She starts writing about this using a pseudonym of an older female PHD. She also becomes roommates with Hugh Jackman’s man whore character. She assumes that since she now knows everything about male behavior that he won’t be tempting. All hell turns loose when people want to know more about her alter ego. The film costars Marisa Tomei as her more naive best friend. The film is based on the book Animal Husbandry by Laura Zigman.

Excess Baggage (1997) (not currently available)
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When Alicia Silverstone was on top of the world career wise she had her own company, First Kiss Productions. This was the big film that she decided to put out under it. Unfortunately this film and the, at first look, similar A Life Less Ordinary were both released around the same time and both were panned by critics. It’s a shame because I enjoyed both films. Silverstone plays a pampered rich girl who, just wanting her dad’s attention, tries to arrange a fake kidnapping of herself but then is accidently actually kidnapped by a, really hot at the time, Benicio Del Toro. The film costars Christopher Walken and Harry Connick Jr.

Fools Rush In (1997) (not currently available)
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Growing up my sister and I were both a big fan of this Matthew Perry vehicle. He is a hapless architect who meets the hot Salma Hayek waiting outside of a bathroom in a Mexican restaurant and, of course, has sex with her that night. Later when she shows up pregnant they decide that instead of just paying her alimony, like in real life, they are going to get married and raise this kid together. So they adorably try to mesh their culture and long distance lives. His love of Gray’s Papaya actually caused my sister and I to look all over for one once while were were visiting NYC but we gave up when we could only find Papaya King.

In & Out (1997) (not currently available)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si3WXZtJ5GY
A drama teacher questions his sexuality during his engagement to a woman when a former student outwittingly outs him. In & Out has always gotten a bad rap because it came out in the late ’90s so people have always said that it was ridiculous that the lead character (played by the always amazing Kevin Kline) is only now, realizing that he is gay even though he is older. This is because people wrongly assume that everywhere is like NYC and LA but it’s not. Gay people in my small town freaking hide most of the time. That being said there is definitely some silly, ridiculous stuff in this but it’s a ’90s comedy, what do you expect? The film costars Tom Selleck, Joan Cusack, Matt Dillon, Debbie Reynolds and Lauren Ambrose.

Sprung (1996) (not currently available)
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I haven’t watched this movie in a long time but I remember thinking that it is odd, cute and funny. It’s about dating and the differences between men and women. The film stars Tisha Campbell-Martin.

One Fine Day (1996) (not currently available)
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Ah, the ’90s when George Clooney was trying to get into our panties with his smile, instead of trying to bore us to tears by teaching us things we don’t care about. It’s a movie about two single, professional parents who meet through their children. The film also stars Michelle Pfeiffer.

I.Q. (1994) (not currently available)
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I’ve always been fond of I.Q. despite it’s PGness and it having to do with Einstein (as played by Walter Matthau). Meg Ryan plays the niece of Einstein and Tim Robbins is the dim cutie that Einstein tries to get her together with.

I Love You To Death (1990) (not currently available)
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I Love You To Death works because of the huge ensemble cast, Kevin Kline, Tracey Ullman, River Phoenix, William Hurt, Keanu Reeves, Victoria Jackson and Heather Graham. Kevin Kline character is a cheating jerk who runs a pizza parlor. His wife is sick of his cheating and wants him dead. Luckily she doesn’t have to try to do this all on her own since River Phoenix’s character is head over heels about her.

Loverboy (1989) (not currently available)
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It’s great that they have this streaming because Loverboy is my favorite young Patrick Dempsey movie. If you only have time to watch one film about a young, gigolo pizza boy this is your movie. The film costars Kate Jackson, Dylan Walsh, Kirsite Alley and Carrie Fisher.

When Harry Met Sally (1989) (not currently available)
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“How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that’s your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Yes, you do.”

This is a true classic and I’m still a little surprised that you can actually find it via Netflix Streaming. Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal star in Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron’s flick about a couple of people who seemingly by kismet meet repeatedly until they give in and become friends. Then they debate whether or not men and women can even be friends without sex but they think that they won’t have to worry about that with each other. As a cynic I’ve always identified with Crystal’s character over Ryan’s. I usually watch this movie at least once a year. I honestly think this would be a perfect movie if none of the real life couple interviews were interjected every once in a while. They are too cheesy and ruin the flow of the film. Carrie Fisher costars.

Something Wild (1986) (not currently available)
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Something Wild is totally quirky. Melanie Griffith is this great ‘I don’t give a fuck’ type of character who gets Jeff Daniels to go with her back to her hometown for a reunion. Both of them are liars but really likable. Ray Liotta costars as her asshole ex whose character is even named Ray.

The Pick-up Artist (1987) (not currently available)
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Robert Downey Jr’s career has undergone many transformations. This was back in his ‘I’m a suave leading man’ phase. He is a a real horn dogging guy who decides to change when he meets the complicated, interesting Randy (played by Molly Ringwald). When the actual plot of trying to get needed money for something kicks in I lost some of my enthusiasm but you do get a cute, young Downey Jr. The film costars Dennis Hopper, Danny Aiello, Harvey Keitel and Victoria Jackson.

The Prince and the Showgirl (1957) (not currently available)
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This is one of my favorite Marilyn Monroe films. The movie is about exactly what the title says. Monroe is a showgirl that a prince (as played by Laurence Olivier) is pursuing. Olivier was also the director and producer of the film and Monroe drove him nuts.

Feel free to add the titles of your romantic comedies favorites that are on streaming as a comment and check out the current comments for suggestions from other Netflix viewers. As you can see from this post Netflix has lost the rights to many great films so we’d really love your input.

There are a lot of good romance flicks out there that I would recommend buying too.

Last Updated: February 2012

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posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV

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Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)

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"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)
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(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
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This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
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The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
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This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
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The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
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This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrQ4Iu8fAs
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)

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"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.

Unknown-(02/18)

This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)

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"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFbBIUcklt8
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2-hiHUh4UQ
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“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
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Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

Shelter-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSAU4-ClVxs
This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.

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