Movie Quotes: Paul

"Ready who and for a drawn near encounter?"

Read on for the funniest quotes from the new alien comedy Paul starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Seth Rogen. Quotes may contains spoilers for the film.

Adam Shadowchild: “That is a wonderful cover, 3 tits, awesome.”

Room Service Attendant Jorge: “You guys on honeymoon?”

Room Service Attendant Jorge: “Have a nice honeymoon.”
Graeme Willy: “aw, thank you”

Pat Stevenson: “I like romances.”
Graeme Willy: “It’s kind of a romance.”
Pat Stevenson: “Between a woman and a machine?”
Graeme Willy: “uh, yeah”
Pat Stevenson: “I hear that”

Gus: “What is this, some kinda gay bar?”
Pat Stevenson: “Nah, just a place where you can get a bite to eat and maybe share a close encounter.”
Gus: “yep, sounds like a gay bar”
Clive Gollings: (laughs) “oh no, we’re just friends”

Graeme Willy: “This is like Deliverance.”
Clive Gollings: “They’re going to rape us and break our arms.”
Graeme Willy: “I don’t want my arms broken.”

Graeme Willy: “You made him faint.”
Paul: “It’s not like I set my phaser to faint.”
Graeme Willy: “You have a phaser?”

Paul: “I”m Paul”
Grame Willy: “Paul?”
Paul: “Yeah, it’s a nickname that stuck, I, I, my ship crashed on a dog, it doesn’t matter…”

Haggard: “3 tits, that’s awesome”
O’Reilly: “You guys should give her 4 tits”
Graeme Willy: “That’s just sick.”

Graeme Willy: “What’s the matter Clive?”
Clive Gollings: “There is an alien in the kitchenette making bagels and coffee”
Graeme Willy: “Did you want tea?”

Paul: “ooh, Marmite”

Paul: “If you think about it, it’s time travel”

The Big Guy: “What are they, MI6?”
Haggard: “Negative, just a couple of nerds on the lamb from Comic Con”

Paul: “This is America, kidnapping a Christian, that’s worse than harboring a fugitive”

Paul: “roll over, I’ll do you”
Clive Gollings: “absolutely not, no spoilers”

Ruth Buggs: “Well I am planning on doing a lot of kissing and fornicating so you’d really be helping me out”

Paul: “This is pretty strong shit. I got it from the military actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.”
Graeme Willy: “Bob Dylan’s not dead.”
Paul: “Isn’t he?”

Paul: “Clive likes boning space bears”

Graeme Willy: “Okay, we’re just a couple of regular guys walking down the street with a small cowboy”

O’Reilly: “Holy shit, spaceman balls”
Haggard: “and who has spaceman balls?”
O’Reilly: “Buzz Aldrin”

Haggard: “give me the alien”
Graeme Willy: “get your own alien”

Haggard: “This isn’t your mission.”
Moses Buggs: “I’m on a mission from God.”
Haggard: “Tell him you failed”

Moses Buggs: “God be with you”
Paul: “yeah, whatever dude”

Tara Walton: “I don’t have my toothbrush”
Paul: “Baby where we’re going you don’t need teeth”

Paul: “Well it’s safe to say we’ve all learned something from this, be yourself, speak from your heart, some shit like that, I don’t know”

Paul: “This shit takes off very slowly, it’s a little awkward, goodbye”