Archive for April 2011 | Monthly archive page

posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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Due Date is a road trip comedy about two people who are complete opposites starring Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis and directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover, The Hangover 2, Old School, Road Trip). Initially I had no interest in seeing this film that seemed to just be a contrived money grab. When it hit DVD and I was subjected to the repetitive ads I figured that I would give it a shot. Yes, it’s an unneeded movie in the scheme of things but it’s very funny.

Ethan: “We haven’t been drinking, we split a 6 pack of 40s”

Peter: I’ve never done drugs in my life, this is abs, this is crazy”

Ethan: “I have 90 friends on Facebook, 12 of them are pending, but I have 90 friends”

Ethan: “he thinks he’s human, so stupid” (while feeding his dog at the table in a diner)

Ethan: “…Two and a Half Men is the reason I wanted to become an actor, especially the second season”


(source: sarahwand.tumblr.com)

Ethan: “I shouldn’t have come here, I’m allergic to waffles”

Ethan: “She’s very legitimate, I met her on Craigslist” (about a drug dealer)

Peter: “What terms do you think in?”
Ethan: “I’m not an accountant, I’m not even Jewish.”
Peter: “Are you an adult?”
Ethan: “Of course I’m an adult, I’m 23 years old.”
Peter: “You are the most shot out 23 year old I’ve ever seen.”

Peter: “You have a reservation at Chili’s?”
Ethan: “That’s actually smart, they get busy on Wednesdays”

Lonnie: (singing) “It’s closing time, time to go to Chili’s and chow down with my fuckin’ boys”

Ethan: “Oh that’s just me, I’m masturbating”

Peter: “Your fuckin’ dog’s doin it too”

Ethan: “I also fell asleep during a job interview at Bank of America”

Peter: “…I despise you at a cellular level.”
Ethan: “Okay, I’ve heard that before and I’m trying to work on it.”

Peter: “That was Shakespeare, heard of him?”
Ethan: “Yes, I’ve heard of him, he’s a famous pirate and by the way it’s Shakesbeard.”

Darryl: “and you just spit on his dog”

Peter: “Give me that dog and I will rip it in half.”
Ethan: “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Peter: “What was that site called?”
Ethan:ItsRainingTwoAndAHalfMen.com

Border Guard: “What about the dog? Does he have glaucoma? Cuz his eyes are glassy as fuck”

Ethan: “Well I’m in stealth mode, I’ve got the scarf on my head and everything”

Peter: “No I’m not naming my son after a masturbating dog.”

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Well I’m not going into what this was shot for except to say that I was brutally rebuffed. Since I like to keep this blog positive that is that. Unfortunately after I had my background, tripod, etc. set up, but before I was dressed and had my hair and makeup finished, the sun went down. I didn’t realize and forgot to light the room. This resulted in a bunch of unfocused shots. Plus a stupid curtain fell while I was shooting and appeared in some of them. However I thought that I would still try to do something with them, so used a lot of effects on them. Not perfect, but still fun.

Get The Look

First Mate

First Mate by MissEmmaMM on Polyvore.com

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posted by on Movies/TV, Netflix Streaming

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“When they mix the sexuality and the violence, I like it” – Forgetting Sarah Marshall

If you were a character in an erotic thriller then how would you know? Are you worried that one of the people that you are sexing up on the regular is getting ready to murder you? Bingo!

Special Treatment (2010)

Well the cover of this movie is quite misleading/odd once you realize that the main character is a middle aged prostitute. However is a quite interesting movie. Plus both the lead actress and actor are quite talented. The yang to her yin is a psychiatrist with OCD and a crumbling marriage. If you enjoy a peek into a hooker’s life, ala a darker Secret Diary of a Call Girl, give this a watch. This French drama includes optional English subtitles.
Unrated

Diary of a Nymphomaniac (2008)

This disturbing coming of age tale focuses on a lusty French woman who decides to become a prostitute. She also has an absorbing yet destructive relationship with an older man. This flick is in Spanish with optional English subtitles.
Unrated

8MM (1999)


“If you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you.”

Since 8MM involves a snuff film you might think that this is a sick addition. Seriously though, look at Joaquin Phoenix in this movie, so hot. He helps Nic Cage with his search. Of course they do have to associate with all different types of shady people, including people in the porn world, so I think that warrants its inclusion. I also recommend the direct to DVD sequel 8MM2. While it has nothing to do with this movie it has sex, deceit and hottie Johnathon Schaech.
Rated R for strong perverse sexuality and violence, and for strong language.

The Advocate (aka The Hour of the Pig) (1993)

This movie doesn’t sound/look that sexy to me but those who have reviewed it say that it is so I think that I’ll have to check it out. It stars a younger Colin Firth who’s rockin’ some shaggy ass hair. He’s a lawyer in a medieval court who apparently can’t keep his britches on. You can watch the trailer here on IMDB.com.
Rated R for elements of strong sexuality.

Basic Instinct (1992)

I still have no idea how it came to be that in the early ’90s every woman was supposed to be attracted to/obsessed with Michael Douglas but some how it just worked. This is, of course, the very famous movie starring Sharon Stone as an erotic novelist who is also the suspect in a murder case. Douglas is a detective who crosses the line with her. Yes, this is the infamous Sharon Stone snatch flashing movie. Is it the best thing ever? No, but as a fan of both actors I recommend checking it out at least once.
Rated R for Strong violence and sensuality, and for drug use and language.

Bad Influence (1990)

“You know, you make a funny face when you come.”

Bad Influence is fun because we usually see James Spader as a conceited asshole in movies but in the beginning of this movie he’s very meek. He becomes friends with Rob Lowe, who is basically all id, and teaches him how to be a player, while also toying with his life.
Rated R-may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements.

Stormy Monday (1988)


I haven’t seen this yet but it just went into my queue. This is Mike Figgis’ first film. It’s about seedy politicians and a nightclub. The movie stars Melanie Griffith, Sean Bean, Sting and Tommy Lee Jones. I recommend this post by a woman who appeared in the film.
Rated R for adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually oriented nudity and drug abuse.
NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE

Chloe (2009)


“Am I your secretary or am I your daughter? Maybe I’m your seventh grade math teacher you always hated. All I know is that if I do it just right, I can become your living, breathing, unflinching dream, and then I can actually disappear”

A woman has a chance meeting with a high class escort which spurs her to hire the escort to test her husband’s fidelity. At the same time she herself is drawn to this sexy, young woman. This movie was even better than I expected. It stars Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried and Liam Neeson.
Rated R for strong sexual content including graphic dialogue, nudity and language.

Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

“You know how some guys are into blondes and some guys are into killers?”

Plot: Novelist Catherine Tramell is once again in trouble with the law, and Scotland Yard appoints psychiatrist Dr. Michael Glass to evaluate her. Though, like Detective Nick Curran before him, Glass is entranced by Tramell and lured into a seductive game.-from IMDB.com. I’m not actually a big fan of the Basic Instinct movies but there are some hot scenes in this. It stars Sharon Stone, David Morrissey and David Thewlis.
Rated R for strong sexuality, nudity, violence, language and some drug content.

Cruel Intentions 3 (2004)

“The only problem with fucking with someone as twisted as you is that you’re fucking with someone as twisted as you.”

I wasn’t sure whether I should include this movie because it’s tamer than the other films but I am a big fan of the series so, why not? Cruel Intentions 3 has completely different characters from the first film and the TV pilot (that was later released direct to DVD as a psuedo prequel). Of course they are supposed to be related to the other characters or something but who cares? What you need to know is that Kerr Smith (Dawson’s Creek) is so hot in this. The “plot” is about bored, rich college kids who toy with each other.
Rated R for strong sexual content and language.

Femme Fatale (2002)

not creepy at all

totally integral to the plot…like all faux lesbian scenes


(spoilers)

 

“I’m a bad girl Nicolas. Real bad. Rotten to the heart. “

“C’mon, Nicolas. You don’t have to lick my ass. Just fuck me!”

Plot: A woman tries to straighten out her life, even as her past as a con-woman comes back to haunt her.-from IMDB.com. I’ve been a big fan of this movie since it came out. It stars Rebecca Romijn, Antonio Banderas and Peter Coyote.
Rated R for strong sexuality, violence and language.

Murder By Numbers (2002)

“Please, that chick spreads like peanut butter.”

Plot: Two gifted high school students execute a perfect murder and then become engaged in an intellectual contest with a seasoned homicide detective.-from IMDB.com. This film was released years ago when Sandy Bullock was trying to be taken seriously as an actress. Her dramatic films didn’t cause droves to turn out to the box office so she went back to romantic comedies aside from that time that she won an oscar by showing her range (blonde hair and an accent). I wouldn’t call it a must see but it’s decent. The film costars Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling and Michael Pitt (the latter 2 are always sorta sexy in a creepy way).
Rated R for violence, language, a sex scene and brief drug use.

American Psycho 2(2002)

(crap, now there’s a pic of William Shatner on my blog!)

You mean you’ve never heard of this direct to DVD movie starring Mila Kunis as a murderous college student? Get on that! It costars the aloofly hot Robin Dunne (also seen in Cruel Intentions 2, The Skulls 2 and Species 3, he’s the top reason to rent direct to DVD sequels!)
Rated R for violence and language.

Original Sin (2001)

Original Sin stars Angelina Jolie back when she was still smokin’ hot plus Antonio Banderas and Thomas Jane (yum). It’s about a mail order bride who isn’t what she seems.
Rated R for strong sexual content and some violence.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

“So, because I’m a beautiful woman, the only reason any man wants to talk to me is because he wants to fuck me? Is that what you’re saying? “

This is, of course, Stanley Kubrick’s last film. It took years to make this movie and Kubrick was not known for being easy to work with. However if Kubrick wanted to cast you and your wife as the leads in his film even though it might contribute to the end of your marriage you’d probably still say yes, cuz it’s Kubrick. The basic plot is about Tom Cruise’s doctor character exploring different types of hidden sexual environments after his wife (Nicole Kidman) upsets him. This is my second favorite Kubrick film (A Clockwork Orange is tops). I was anticipating its release back in the day and it killed me that I had to wait for the DVD release because I was 16 (our movie theater had just started enforcing ratings). The film costars the late Sydney Pollack, Thomas Gibson, Leelee Sobieski, Vinessa Shaw and Alan Cumming. If you enjoy the film I recommend reading Like Being in Another World’: Vinessa Shaw on the 10th Anniversary of Eyes Wide Shut.
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, language and some drug-related material. (on Netflix, you can also buy or rent the NC-17 version).

Devil in the Flesh (1998)
Devil in the Flesh 2 (2000)


“No means no. Don’t you guys get that? What is it, you stop understanding English when you get a hard-on?”

The awesome Rose McGowan stars as a poor, unpopular, unhinged teen who falls for her teacher after she gives herself a skanked out 5 finger discount makeover. So good. The sequel, starring Jodi Lyn O’Keefe isn’t as good but is worth checking out if you get a kick of the first one.
The original is Rated R for strong violence and sexuality, and for some language.
The sequel is Rated R-may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements.

Never Talk To Strangers (1995)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK3kZ19_8vo

“This is how I like my men, wet and naked”

Plot: Sarah Taylor, a police psychologist, meets a mysterious and seductive young man, Tony Ramirez, and falls in love with him.-from IMDB.com. It stars Antonio Banderas, Rebecca De Mornay, Dennis Miller and Harry Dean Stanton. Teen and pre-teen girls of the ’90s grew up with huges crushes on Banderas, so there you go.
Rated R for violence, language and some strong graphic sexuality.

Disclosure (1994)

“You stick your dick in my mouth and now you get an attack of morality?”

I am a huge fan of Disclosure. I never really understood why all of the women in 1990’s films were obsessed with Michael Douglas, because even though he’s cool he’s not really a looker. This movie rocks because Demi Moore was so headstrong in the ’90s. Since it’s 1994 one of the plots of the film involves some really ridiculous computer software but the main plot is “As a guy can you really be sexually harrassed by a hot woman?”. Well you can but who is going to believe you. The film costars Donald Sutherland, Roma Maffia, Dylan Baker and Dennis Miller.
Rated R for a very strong sex scene, sexual dialogue and other strong language.

The Crush (1993)

“Nick, ever do a virgin?”

Cary Elwes is a reporter who moves into a rich family’s guest house and becomes the objection of obsession by Alicia Silverstone. He tries to rebuff her but that doesn’t always work out. The film costars Amber Benson and Kurtwood Smith (Red on That 70’s Show). If you are also a big fan of the film I recommend reading The Crush Mansion at iamnotastalker.com and Brockton Point Lighthouse from The Crush at iamnotastalker.com.
Rated R for language and terror violence.

Fatal Instinct (1993)

Fatal Instinct is a spoof of the erotic thriller genre. Plot: A cop/attorney is seduced by a woman while his wife is having an affair with a mechanic. (from IMDB.com). This movie stars Armand Assante, Christopher McDonald, James Remar, Tony Randall and John Witherspoon in addition to 2 fantastic actresses, Sherilyn Fenn and Sean Young.

Rated PG-13 for racy humor.

Poison Ivy (1992)
Poison Ivy 3: The New Seduction (1997)

carrying on a proud tradition of seducing old guys

Back in the early 1990’s when Drew Barrymore was trying to not be seen as a little kid anymore (but before she wanted to be the girl next door) we got great cheesy movies like Poison Ivy and Doppelganger. She plays a teen temptress who gets Sara Gilbert and her dad (Tom Skerritt) to become enamored with her. Later Alyssa Milano decided to go the same route with Poison Ivy 2: Lily (my favorite in the series). After that a Jaime Pressly (My Name Is Earl) also got to take a swing at it. She’s mainly really good at getting people drunk in this movie. It costars Greg Vaughan (Charmed). There is a 4th film that was released in 2009 but I haven’t seen it.
Poison Ivy is rated R for sensuality and language.
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction is rated R for strong sexuality, and for some language and drug content.

Final Analysis (1992)

“Do you come out here a lot?” “No, just in moments of existential anxiety and when I want to impress a date.”

Now I definitely understand an obsession with Richard Gere. He is a psychiatrist who gets involved with his patient (Kim Basinger). Uma Thurman costars.
Rated R-may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements.

Wild at Heart (1990)

Plot: Young lovers Sailor and Lula run from the variety of weirdos that Lula’s mom has hired to kill Sailor.-from IMDB.com. Nic Cage, Laura Dern, Willem Dafoe, Crispin Glover, Diane Ladd, Isabella Rossellini, Harry Dean Stanton and Sherilyn Fenn star in this David Lynch film.
Rated R

Breathless (1983)

Plot: Jesse has to get out of Las Vegas quickly, and steals a car to drive to L.A. On the way he shoots a police man. When he makes it to L.A. he stays with Monica, a girl he has only known for a few days. As the film progresses, the police get closer to him, and the crimes escalate.-from IMDB.com. It stars the very yummy Richard Gere.
Rated R-may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements.

Body Heat (1981)

“Maybe you shouldn’t dress like that” “This is a blouse and skirt, I don’t know what you mean”

 

 

“…besides, maybe she’ll fuck me to death”

Plot-In the midst of a searing Florida heat wave, a woman convinces her lover, a small-town lawyer, to murder her rich husband.-from IMDB.com. I’ve always been undecided as to whether or not William Hurt was attractive when he was younger. After watching this I really don’t think that he is. He does do a great job of getting seduced by the always impressive Kathleen Turner. If you enjoy the film I recommend reading Turner’s autobiography because she goes into detail about the making of many of her films including this one. A young, geeked out Ted Danson costars.
Rated R for adult content, graphic language, nudity, and violence.

American Gigolo (1980)

“How many languages do you speak?” “5 or 6” “Plus the, uh, international language?” “That’s right”

Yes, the 3rd Richard Gere flick in this post! A super young, super hot Gere plays a high class hooker who falls for Lauren Hutton while getting caught up in some shady goings on. Hector Elizondo costars.
Rated R for adult content, adult language and mild violence.

Caligula (1979)

Malcolm McDowell is Caligula. Helen Mirren and Peter O’Toole costar. The film was produced by Penthouse!
Rated R for pervasive depiction of sex and violence. (the streaming version, the real version is unrated and dirtier).

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Last Updated: December 2012

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Today, I wanted to do something light and fun. I already did an Easter post last year so I went looking through my drafts for something else. Eureka! I was playing with the sites PhotoFunia and FACEinHole last year and saved a few pics as a post but never got around to posting it. Like it says in the title of one of these sites, they are a lot of fun. I’m drawn to the movie stuff but they have a ton of different situations that you can put you or your friends/family into (ex. magazine covers, holidays, art, etc.). PhotoFunia will host your creations after you make them. FACEinHOLE makes you post through them onto other social networks/blogs. I was unable to do that since I use wordpress.org, so I just screencapped my pics from there. You could also do that if you don’t like random sites having your login info. Have fun!

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posted by on Editorial, Movies/TV

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***UPDATED 4/22/2011***
(I asked Jenny if she had any photos of her and Christian Kane together. She no longer had any of those. However she was able to find the 4th photo down that I have now added. She stated that it is a photo of Christian’s parents with Alissa as a baby. Behind them on the wall there are 2 family photos both of which appear to feature a very young Christian Kane.)

Christian Kane in LA in 2005 by J.N.

Christian Kane in LA in 2005 by J.N.

Alissa Barosh

You can view more photos of her here.

Jennifer Stoker (far right) in her sorority days

Mike and Pamela Short with baby Alissa

(click it to see the full sized photo)

 

cropped close up

another cropped close up

I’m a huge twitter fanatic and I do check out who people are before I follow them back. Recently after making a Kane comment (while listening to his latest album) I noticed that a woman named Jennifer Ekl Stoker was following me. All of her tweets were dealing with her claim that she has a daughter that was fathered by actor/singer Christian Kane. For some reason no one is taking her seriously or trying to get her story out. I have 2 theories as to why this has been happening.

She is mainly contacting Christian Kane fans whom do not want to hear anything negative about him or it’s because casual movie goers and TV watchers probably do not recognize Christian Kane by name.

Who Is Christian Kane?
Your Crash Course-Christian Kane is currently starring in the successful TNT series Leverage. as Eliot Spencer, nicknamed “The Hitter” because of his martial arts skills. Many fangirls, myself included, have been following Kane’s career since he portrayed Lindsey McDonald on Joss Whedon’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer spin-off, Angel.

Christian Kane is also a country rock singer. You can check out some of his music directly below.

Now that you are up to speed on who that familiar face, Christian Kane is, check out my interview with Jennifer Stoker. (The interview was conducted via email and I have not edited her answers for authenticity.)

Hello Jennifer Stoker,

Are you claiming that your daughter Alissa Haley Barosh’s father is actor/singer Christian Kane?

Yes, Alissa Haley Barosh’s biological father is Christian Kane

How and where did you meet Christian? What was Christian’s name when you met?

Chris and I met at the University of Oklahoma. I was in the sorority Alpha Chi Omega and he was an ATO pledge. We were having one of our sorority philanthropy called “Mr Spring Fling”. Each fraternity selected one of their pledges or members to participate. Each man was to perform a dance that we taught them for the contest. It took a few weeks. I happened to be assigned to the ATO (Chris Short). He came in 2nd I believe.

Did you engage in a long love affair?

It wasn’t Love affair because we were not in love but did see each other occasionally over several months ( and almost an entire summer). honestly a FWB thing.

What caused the two of you to break up? Did Christian leave you while you were pregnant or after you gave birth?

I told him I was pregnant over the summer of 1993. He said he was not ready to be a father and didn’t have “cash” ( a term he used a lot). He didn’t want me to have an abortion,,thank goodness). I never would have agreed to that.

I was forced to move home with my parents and back to Texas and leave the sorority. I was staying in an apt that summer to work with my roomate (rush chairman) on upcoming sorority Rush.

Has he ever met or spoken with his daughter?

He hasn’t ever spoken to Alissa but she would like to meet him

Did he ever make any promises to you regarding marriage or regarding helping you to raise Alissa?

I Never wanted to marry Chris.

Is it true that you were in contact with Christian’s parents in the past? Have they had a relationship with their granddaughter?

His parents, Pamela and Mike Short were contacted by my parents regarding the situation and were made aware. They were (as well as him) sent a birth announcement, several letters (sent via certified mail), pics of Alissa and some phone calls on both ends. I drove to norman Ok when she was a baby to show my sorority sisters my precious daughter and to contact Chris (who was working as a waiter) and show Alissa to his parents. I showed up with Alissa and friends to his restaurant he didn’t” appear” to be happy but he did recognize us. I called him later and asked if he wanted to see her and he said “no, it will be too hard”. I called his mom and she said I was wekcome to come over. I did and even took pics of Alissa with his folks. Pam even kept in contact for several months (but not ver consistantly). She called to make sure we made it back to Houston okay. The last phone conversation we had she said I was looking at the whole situation with “rose-colored glasses” and Chris was going through. A hard time with everything and seeing all pics I sent them. She said they were basically loosing their son and were chosing him over their granddaughter.

Is he listed as the father of Alissa on her birth certificate or did he refuse to sign it?

He wasn’t listed on birth certificate because he wasn’t present at the time of the birth. He did however give me “some” info in regards to his family medical history as well as his ss# before I left Oklahoma. I in return turned that info over to the state, as I was applying for Medicaid
The attorney general opened the case a couple times I believe but because his legal name was Christopher Michael Short and listed at his parents address in Oklahoma it made the process difficult. They wanted us both to appear in Oklahoma for dna test but he was in California and going under the stage name Christian Kane so that trip would have been costly and pointless. Frustrated I gave up for a little while. Then tried contacting his sites and no luck.

If you have talked to him or anyone who represents him does he deny both the fact that he fathered your daughter and that you had a relationship or only that he is the father?

He has never denied that Alissa is his child (not that I have ever heard). I just never really heard anything and figured they were just ignoring me in the hope I would just loose interest or leave the issue alone

What are your intentions? Is your main objective to receive back child support for her, to reunite them, or both?

Intentions are both for the benefits of Alissa.

Is it true that you are currently in talks with Eric Griffin of Brand X Management (who represents Christian Kane) regarding the legalities of this matter?

I emailed Eric and he emailed me back and said that he would forward my info to the “legal authorities”. I should hear something within 3 days of them receiving my contact information. Eric said that he wasn’t the one to talk to basically.

Disclaimer: (AKA-You can’t sue me) What is my opinion? Information that she mentions from Christian’s past (ex. the college that he attended, his birth name) are true. I also think that her daughter does look like him. However I am being neutral here. I am giving her a platform to have her say. I am not siding with anyone. And yes, I’m a Kane fan and have nothing against him.

UPDATE: 09/24/2011


The October 3, 2011 issue of Star Magazine with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds on the cover (“Sandra & Ryan’s Secret…Texas Wedding!“) includes a small blurb mentioning Jennifer Stoker’s story. It’s entitled “Leverage Star Christian Kane’s Secret Love Child” and is on page 34.

FYI-I have been asked for information on what is currently going on with this (May 2014). If you read the story then you will see that the girl is of age as of now. Not only that but this post is functioning like a news article. You would not demand a news outlet go dig up an article from years ago and alter it. Also, this is my personal blog. I post what I want on here. Thank you for reading.

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