Movie Quotes: Horrible Bosses


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(from GQ)

Dale: “Well she’s not just my girlfriend anymore, we’re engaged now”
Julia: “What?”
Dale: “We’re engaged”
Julia: “You said that she was just a hole for your dick”
Dale: “I never said that. Not really my style”

(from Kevin Spacing tumblr)

Nick: “You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam Gam?”
Harkin: “I’m sorry, what?”
Nick: “My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said that if I left early I’d get fired and she died before I made it to the hospital.”
Harkin: “I’m sorry”
Nick: “Thank you”
Harkin: (laughing) “I had no idea that you called your grandmother Gam Gam.” (laughing more rambunctiously) “Sorry, I’m sorry, sorry that you didn’t get to say bye bye to Gam Gam, I really am, I’m sorry, but I needed you to stay here and work late because you are an invaluable member of this operation and I need you in the position that you’re currently in.”

Bobby: “What else? Oh yeah, we’ve gotta trim some of the fat around here”
Kurt: “Trim the, what do ya mean by trim the fat?”
Bobby: “I want you to fire the fat people.”
Kurt: “What?”
Bobby: “They’re lazy and they’re slow and they make me sad to look at. You can start with Large Marge. Marge, can you come in here please?”
Kurt: “No, Margee’s not fat, she’s pregnant. I’m not gonna fire her.”
Bobby: “Fine. Uh stay where you are Marge. Congratulations”
Bobby: “You can fire, uh Professor Xavier”
Kurt: “Who are you talking about? You mean Hank”
Bobby: “Yeah, he fuckin’ creeps me out, rollin’ around all day in his special little secret chair, I know he’s up to something”

(from James Brown tumblr)

Dale: “Well now you’re kinda crossin’ the line cuz you’re naked”
Julia: “Uh, not naked Dale, can you see my pussy?”
Dale: “True, um, but I think, uh, even really saying the word, uh, pussy is that’s”
Julia: “That’s crossing the line?
Dale: “little bit
Julia: “Starting to sound like a little faggot there Dale”
Dale: “There we go, that one’s, uh, another one, probably an illegal thing to say too”

Kurt: “Technically I think it’s immoral for me not to kill him”

Julia: (climbs on Day’s fiance who is knocked out in the dentist’s office) “Let’s use her like a bed”

Dale: “Rape, rape, rape, that’s a rape! This is what raping is! You’re a raper! You’ve raped me! That’s a rape! Rape!”

Dale: “Your ad said you do wet work”
Wetwork Man: “That’s correct, I urinate on other men for money”

Motherfucker Jones: “I’m gonna be your murder consultant.”
Dale: “I’m sorry but uh, no man, right, that’s not cool”
Motherfucker Jones: “You wanna shut this fuckin’ hamster up”
Dale: “Don’t call me a hamster now, c’mon, it’s just upsetting”
Kurt: “Easy, easy, easy, no, it’s it’s somewhat accurate…”

Kurt: (stepping into Farrell’s house) Aw look at this, look at this place, it’s awful. It’s like a douche bag museum. It’s like we stepped inside the mind of an asshole.”

Nick: (cleaning cocaine) “…I feel like I should be panicking and I am a little bit but it’s like in a very, very good way, like a good kind of panic, like I feel like I want to die right now but I also feel very, very, very good”

Dale: “I’m coked out of my fuckin’ mind I’ll punch whoever the fuck I want to”

Kurt: (looking at a wedding photo) “Hey, shit is that Harkin’s wife?
Nick: “Yeah, that’s her”
Kurt: “Oh man, she is hot”
Nick: “She sure is, here we go.”
Kurt: “I tell ya what, I’d like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states, ya know what I’m sayin’?”
Nick: “I don’t know what that means.”
Kurt: “It’s a saying”
Nick: “I don’t think so.”
Kurt: “No, it is, it is, people say that.”
Nick: “I haven’t heard it”
Kurt: “I’ve definitely heard people say that”
Nick: “I’m not gonna argue with you. Let’s continue the recon”
Kurt: “Well it’s definitely a phrase.”
Nick: “It sure isn’t.”
Kurt: “Yeah it is. It’s from a book, Great Gatsby maybe”

Harkin: “You want to tell me what you’re doing littering on my street?”
Dale: “I think what happened was that the wind blew it out of my hand”
Harkin: “I don’t care if the wind blew it out of your twat…”

Kurt: “I can’t go to jail, look at me, I’d get raped like crazy”
Nick: “Me too”
Kurt: “Yeah, totally”
Nick: “I’d get raped just as much as you would”
Kurt: “Oh no, I know you would, of course you would”
Nick: “You think you’re more rapeable than I am?”
Kurt: “Hey Nick, I’m not saying anything like that”
Nick: “You’re coming very close to saying it”

Kurt: “Then next thing you know she makes herself a little snack, a Popsicle, then a banana and finally a hot dog, c’mon”
Dale: “No, I don’t believe your story”
Kurt: “3 penis shaped foods, that can’t be a coincidence, right? And eating them in that weird order? That’s not a proper meal”
Nick: “It’s cold to hot.”

(at the police precinct)
Nick: “I was drag racing. I’m a drag racer.”
Detective Samson: “You were drag racing, in a Prius?”
Nick: “I don’t win a lot”

Nick: “Where were you during the murder?”
Kurt: “I was making love to a woman, murdering some ass…”

Kurt: “They found my DNA”
Dale: “The found your poop brush!”

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