Archive for November 2011 | Monthly archive page

Movie Quotes: 50/50

Nov
2011
30

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French poster


(source: marshall-beercules.tumblr.com)

Kyle: “What’s that smell…?”
Adam: “Oh, uh yeah, I ran out of shampoo and I had to use Rachel’s”
Kyle: “You smell like you fucked the cast of The View”




(source: christophernolans.tumblr.com)

Kyle: “Has she been sucking on your dick, been giving you blow jobs?
Adam: “No, she doesn’t like to”
Kyle: “She doesn’t, no fucking shit she doesn’t like to. Who likes putting dicks in their mouth? You do it, cuz that’s why they call it blow jobs, it’s a job”

Kyle: “50/50, if you were a casino game you’d have the best odds”


(source: theinnercinema.com)

Diane: “I’m moving in”
Adam: “No, no, mom no”
Diane: “I’m your mother Adam”
Adam: “No, exactly, that’s why…”

Adam: “If you don’t mind, how old are you?”
Katherine: “Um, 24”
Adam: “You’re 24, wow! What are you like Doogie Howser or something?”
Katherine: “Who’s Doogie Howser?
Adam: “The teenage doctor”
Katherine: “Does he work here?”
Adam: “No, no, I just meant you seem a little young to be a doctor”

Rachael: “Having a dog helps with the healing process”
Adam: “What does he have a medical license?”

Adam: “Are you gonna like keep touching me like that or?”
Katherine: “Like this?”
Adam: “Yeah”
Katherine: “Um, I’m, I’m tryin’ to make you feel more at ease”
Adam: “That’s going to make me feel more at ease? It’s like being slapped by a sea otter”
Katherine: “Touching promotes trust, it’s one of the key ways that hospital practitioners make their patients feel more secure in stressful situations”
Adam: ‘Yeah but, it is, just that’s not gonna help”
Katherine: “Really, a sea otter? Is that, I mean, is this, is that better?” (touching his arm again)
Adam: ‘This is getting creepy”

Kyle: “You have a girlfriend? Oh yeah, I forgot. Why would you go to Mardi Gras when you’re busy here not getting blow jobs and hand jobs?”

Kyle: “You deserve better, way better, if I was your girlfriend you know what I’d be doin? I’d be sucking your cock every 3 minutes, I’d be baking you fucking cookies all day and shit”
Adam: “What kind of cookies?”
Kyle: “Any kind”
Adam: “You’d make me snickerdoodle cookies?”
Kyle: “I’d make you snickerdoodle cookies”

Adam: “You really think a girl’s going to go for me cuz I have cancer?”
Kyle: “For the millionth time yes…”

(on a double date)
Adam: “I’m gonna have to crash out, sorry, I’m just exhausted, the um, chemo, uh, just takes it outta ya. But you know I have some really potent medical weed at my house if you want to come over”

Katherine: “Admittedly I do check his Facebook like every day to see if he’s dating somebody new, which is so pathetic”

Katherine: “Hey, um Adam, listen, I just, I just want you to have my cell number just if you need anything, you’d have it”
Adam: “Thanks, uh, did I just like score your digits?” (laughs)
Katherine: “No, no” (serious)
Adam: “That, that, that was a joke”

Rachael: “Um, you’re smoking weed?”
Adam: “Well it’s medicinal”
Rachael: “You got a prescription for medicinal marijuana?”
Kyle: “No, I got a prescription for medicinal marijuana, Adam was too afraid”
Rachael: “Well what’s wrong with you Kyle?”
Kyle: “I have night blindness…”

Katherine: “That makes you kind of a dick”
Adam: “Me? (laughs) Is that like a medical term?”

Kyle: “That’s your Make A Wish, to drive? We could be having sex with hookers while skydiving right now…”

(in the hospital)
Katherine: “How are you feeling?”
Adam: “Great, a lot of morphine”

Adam: “I look pretty good”
Kyle: “I’d fuck you”
Adam: “Thanks”

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Filmmaker, author, & movie reviewer Chris Gore (or Nerdlebrity, as he dubs himself) is currently raising money to make an original animated series. Go here to contribute to FetishVIL on IndieGoGo.

Gore describes this project as Robot Chicken with sex. His series will feature puppet animation (scantily clad Barbie type dolls) in a dungeon called FetishVIL. Gore knows entertainment & S&M so this should be good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1f5wwa3NPI

So far Gore has the following actresses and models on board to voice the characters, Sara Jean Underwood, Nicki Hunter, Ari Dee and Merrie Swain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbdCJJhAvzk

You can contribute $5 to $2,500. For $5 you will get a doll sized autographed photo and a certificate. The most popular perk is $25. This amount gets you a DVD of the complete unrated first season of FetishVIL plus the original perk. For $40 you get an awesome FetishVIL tee (yes those are doll legs!), the DVD & the original perk. $50 gets you the DVD and an invite to a screening party with Chris Gore and cast members (plus the original perk). If you follow Gore on twitter then you know that he knows how to party.

So don’t wait any longer. Go here to contribute right now!

Check It Out:
FetishVIL on twitter
FetishVIL on Facebook
Chris Gore on twitter
Chris Gore’s official site

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Pets Shop ‘Til They Drop!-cute pics of dogs on Black Friday

Oops I’m In India-Jenna Marbles visits India. While there she pets baby squirrels and records a young snake charmer.

OPI Fresh Frog of Bel Air Swatches & Review-This Kermit inspired green glitter nail polish is gorgeous.

December 5, 2011 Time Magazine Covers from other countries & the US-The point here is that while other countries are actually trusting their citizens to learn about real issues while the US cover is telling us that we have anxiety. Yeah, it’s not like we need actual news over here…

Valley Girls Appreciation: Buffy The Vampire Slayer (The Movie)-Agent Lover explains why BTVS is so amazing & stylin’. Plus she includes great screencaps.

It’s like a hoodie. But with fangs.-The Bloggess takes her love of taxidermy to a whole new level by buying & wearing a full size wolf pelt to see the new Twilight movie.

From Sun Magazine: How John Waters celebrates Christmas-I love him. Though I wish that he would make cheaper films more often (which he’s against in the article).

Steve, Don’t Eat It! Vol. 8 Prison Wine-because I’m sure that many of us are curious as to how prison wine is made.

The 4 Worst Times to Be on The Internet-Dan O’Brien hitting the nail on the goddamn head for those of us who are always online (which actually includes many more casual users now since the whole social networking on your phone thing took off).

Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy to Begin Writing Third Before Sunrise Film-I’m really torn about this. I love, love, love the first film. The second film had too much influence from Hawke & I’m not sure that this one is needed. Of course I’d still have to see it though.

Nostalgia Fact-Check: How Does Felicity Hold Up?“The haircut encapsulates what’s simultaneously best and most annoying about Felicity, which is Felicity Porter herself, the kind of girl who gets haircuts knowing they are also metaphors.”-So true.

5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation-Wow, the minimum wage loser thing was totally taught to my generation.

Lady Gaga’s workshop: Have yourself a monstrous little Christmas-I am a fan of Gaga but this whole thing screams SCARY & OVERPRICED! It says that it benefits her charity though, which is good.

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Click HERE to watch Dutch on Netflix.

To come up with a list of Thanksgiving movies that are on Netflix Streaming I would have had to find merit in a bunch of obscure films that didn’t interest me. So instead I’m focusing on Dutch. Dutch is a childhood favorite of mine.

It stars Ed O’Neill (Married with Children, Modern Family) and Ethan Embry (then Ethan Randall, Empire Records). It was great when I was a kid because one of the main characters is a surly child. It holds up though.

O’Neill is a blue collar guy who has started dating a rich yuppie. He goes to pick up her nerdy anti-social son from boarding school. We know this because he wears glasses and is using a computer at the age of 13 in 1991.


The boy has decided to spend the holiday alone as he’s angry about the dissolution of his parent’s marriage. Because this movie is from that time period his dad is played by Christopher MacDonald (who always manages to play an asshole who is still incredibly bangable).

Of course Embry doesn’t want to accompany Ed…

but Neill convinces him.

Yes, it’s a road movie. Along the way back home good old Bundy introduces him to lots of stuff a 13 year old would love…

fireworks


fine dining

nudie cards

hitchhiking

and, well there’s more but I don’t want to spoil it for you. Gotta love that ending too.

Fun Fact:
These two actors later appeared in the Dragnet remake together.

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Since I enjoyed putting together my Top Halloween TV Shows on Netflix Streaming post I felt like doing the same for Thanksgiving. Catch these episodes with your family.

Click the show’s title to visit it on Netflix.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-2016)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Thanksgiving
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Thanksgiving song
1-6 My First Thanksgiving with Josh!
Rebecca gets invited to Josh’s for Thanksgiving, and his parents love her.Greg quits his job, but to a lot less drama than he had hoped.

Orange Is the New Black (2013)
Fucksgiving oitnb
1-9 Fucksgiving
Larry is supposed to visit for Thanksgiving. Piper dances with Alex, in front of everyone.

Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 (2012)
bitch thanksgiving
2-4 It’s a Miracle
Chloe gets June to go to her parents for Thanksgiving. June doesn’t come off to well as Chloe has her pretend to be in a wheelchair to ostensibly make her mother feel more comfortable. There’s also the little matter of June having banged Chloe’s dad in the past.

Bob’s Burgers (2011-2016)Bob's Burgers An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal

3-5 An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal
Bob’s landlord, Mr. Fischoeder, asks for quite a favor. He hires Bob’s family to pose as his to make a woman jealous. Bob plays his chef. This episode is appropriately ridiculous. Mr. Fischoeder, as always, is played by the amazing Kevin Kline. Linda sings The Thanksgiving Song, and Bob gets hammered on absinthe.

4-5 Turkey in a Can
Bob is super excited to try a new turkey recipe, but is disappointed when his turkeys keep mysteriously ending yp in the toilet. Who is the turkey burglar?

5-4 Dawn of the Peck
Bob’s family decides to do activities at the Wonder Wharf pier, instead of having a traditional Thanksgiving with him.

The Vampire Diaries (2009-2016)Jodi Lynne O'Keefe on the Vampire Diaries

6-8 Fade Into You
Caroline hosts a friendsgiving dinner. The episode has a lot of plot lines going on. Jodi Lyn O’Keefe guest stars.

How I Met Your Mother (2005-2012)
slapsgiving
1-9 Belly Full of Turkey
Lily visits Marshall’s family and worries that she’s pregnant. Barney takes Ted and Robin to volunteer with him on Thanksgiving.

3-9 Slapsgiving
Lily tries to throw a nice Thanksgiving in the apartment while Marshall spends his time teasing Barney about slapping him.

5-9 Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap
More slapping fun ensues. Lily’s father visits.

6-10 Blitzgiving
This episode focuses on the curse of the Blitz.

7-11 The Rebound Girl
Robin is upset by Marshall and Lily’s move to Long Island. Ted and Barney consider adopting a child together.

The Cleveland Show (2008-2012)

1-7 A Brown Thanksgiving
Roberta & Federline want to celebrate on their own. Cleveland learns a huge secret about Auntie Momma.

2-7 Another Bad Thanksgiving
Donna’s bossy sister Janet and her kids visit. Janet and Holt run away to Las Vegas to elope leaving the Browns with her kids. So they follow them to Vegas.

Mad Men (2007-2012)

1-13 The Wheel
Don’s work interferes with his home life.

4-1 Public Relations
The mysterious Don Draper is targeted for an interview.

mad men sally betty dark shadows
5-8 Dark Shadows
Betty angrily stirs up trouble between Sally and Megan. Don screws Ginsberg over on an account. Jane agrees to pretend to still be married to Roger to impress Manischewitz. Megan auditions for the show Dark Shadows.

6-13 In Care Of
Don tries to get Megan to agree to move to California with him. On Thanksgiving morning, the partners hold a meeting to force Don to take a leave of absence. Don reveals his real childhood to multiple people.

Check It Out:
Just in Time for Thanksgiving – 15 Memorable Meals on Mad Men
Have A Mad Men Thanksgiving

Gossip Girl (2007-2012)

1-9 Blair Waldorf Must Pie
Dan invites Serena and her family to spend Thanksgiving with his family.

2-11 The Magnificent Archibalds
Blair is upset when her traditions are ruined by her mother’s new boyfriend.

3-11 The Treasure of Serena Madre
Lily invites Maureen and Tripp to dinner.

American Dad 2005-2016

7-6 There Will Be Bad Blood
Stan’s brother is supposed to visit for Thanksgiving. Instead, the family visits him, and learns that he is wealthy. Haley and Jeff eloped, but they are forgiven when they help the family out of a bind.

10-5 Kung Pao Turkey
Francine has her parents over for Thanksgiving.

The Office (2005-2012)

7-9 WUPHF.com
Michael helps Ryan get people to invest in his start-up. Dwight makes a hay festival in the parking lot.

Grey’s Anatomy (2005-2012)

2-9 Thanks for the Memories
The interns and residents find the holiday hard to handle but are unable to admit it.

6-10 Holidaze
Miranda’s father visits and disapproves of her life.

10-10 Somebody That I Used to Know
Meredith plans to host Thanksgiving at her place. Bailey’s OCD is becoming worrisome. Richard is still recovering in the hostpital. Arizona and Callie try to deal with the aftermath of Arizona having got it on with Leah. Cristina and Shane want to use Meredith’s 3D printer.

Scrubs (2001-2009)
jd thanksgiving
1-9 My Day Off
J.D. has appendicitis. The gang gets drinks at the bar on Thanksgiving evening.

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007, 2016)
Gilmore Girls Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving

3-9 A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving
Lorelai and Rory have to attend four separate Thanksgiving dinners. At Emily and Richard’s dinner, Rory announces that she has applied to Yale.

6-10 He’s Slippin’ ‘Em Bread…Dig?
Luke needs to tell Lorelai about hsi daughter.

Family Guy (1999-2016)

10-6 Thanksgiving
Joe and Bonnie’s son makes a dramatic return during Thanksgiving dinner.

12-7 Into Harmony’s Way
Quagmire and Peter start a musical group, managed by Mort.

13-5 Turkey Guys
Peter and Brian have a series of scrapes while trying to obtain a last minute turkey.

14-6 Peter’s Sister
Peter’s sister, Karen, visits the family for Thanksgiving. She is a professional wrestler, who bullies Peter. This leads to a wrestling match involving Karen, Peter, and Meg.

Charmed (1998-2005)

1-8 The Truth Is Out There, and It Hurts
Prue casts a temporary truth spell to find out if Andy will still like her if he finds out that she’s a witch.

7-9 There’s Something About Leo
Piper learns that Leo is now an Avatar so Paige and Phoebe go to Kyle for help.

That ’70s Show (1998-2005)

1-9 Thanksgiving
Laurie’s friend hits on Eric.

5-8 Thank You
Eric plans to announce that he is engaged to Donna.

7-9 You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Hyde and Angie’s dad gives them the responsibility of furnishing, decorating and opening his record store.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2002)

4-8 Pangs
Buffy meets the spirit of a Native American warrior who had their people wiped out by settlers.

Roswell (1999-2001)

2-9 Max in the City
Max and Tess go to New York City where he is confirmed as a true king.

Ally McBeal (1997-2001)

3-5 Troubled Water
Ally invites her coworkers and parents home for dinner and everyone erupts.

Friends 1994-2004
joey

1-9 The One Where Underdog Gets Away
Monica hosts Thanksgiving. Joey accidentally models for V.D. awareness.

3-9 The One with the Football
Ross and Monica try to beat each other at touch football. Joey and Chandler both want the same girl.

4-8 The One with Chandler in a Box
Joey punishes Chandler by making him spend Thanksgiving in a crate. Monica meets Richard’s hot son (Michael Vartan), who is also an optometrist.

5-8 The One with the All the Thanksgivings
The gang remembers previous Thanksgivings, which are shown as hilarious flashbacks. This one has a keen focus on establishing a past between Monica and Chandler. Turkeys on heads, a fat suit, and bad wigs are just some of the reasons to check this episode out.

6-9 The One Where Ross Got High
Chandler finds out that Ross and Monica’s parents dislike him, because Ross blamed the smell of pot smoke on him, even though he didn’t do it. Rachel makes a half English trifle and half shepherd’s pie, which looks thoroughly disgusting. This is still what I think of any time someone mentions shepherd’s pie.

7-8 The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs
Ross tries to name all 50 states. Rachel invites cute, young hottie Tag to Thanksgiving dinner.

8-9 The One with the Rumor
Monica states that she will not be cooking Thanksgiving this year, due to too many leftovers, Chandler’s hatred of Thanksgiving, and Rachel being nauseated due to her pregnancy. Brad Pitt guest stars, as he was with Jennifer Aniston at the time. This episode deals with high school rumors.

9-8 The One with Rachel’s Other Sister
Rachel’s sister Amy (Christina Applegate) comes to Thanksgiving dinner.

10-8 The One with the Late Thanksgiving
Monica and Chandler don’t want to host Thanksgiving, but are talked into it. When everyone is late due to shenanigans, Monica and Chandler lock them out.

Quantum Leap (1989-1992)

3-1 & 3-2 The Leap Home
Sam leaps into himself as a teenager and tries to lead his high school basketball team to a championship. The he leaps into a Navy Seal who’s serving with his brother.

3rd Rock from the Sun (1996-2000)

2-10 Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick
The Solomons celebrate their first Thanksgiving.

Roseanne (1988-1996)

2-9 We Gather Together
Jackie and her mom argue at dinner.

4-10 Thanksgiving ’91
The holiday is shocking.

6-10 Thanksgiving ’93
A family secret comes out and Bev leaves.

7-10 Thanksgiving ’94
Everyone meets Nana Mary’s new husband.

8-8 The Last Thursday in November
DJ acts in his school’s Thanksgiving pageant which features violent Pulp Fiction style action.

9-10 Home Is Where the Afghan Is
Dan doesn’t attend Thanksgiving, which is catered.

*NOTE: Only these last two episodes of Roseanne are currently available on Netflix.

NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE

Brothers and Sisters (2006-2010)

3-10 Just A Sliver
Basically every episode of this show ends with the family gathered around a table eating and talking. Often episodes even primarily revolve around the lead up to one of these meals. So a Thanksgiving episode was a natural fit for this series. This episode is about how they have difficulty getting their schedules in sync. Plus Elizabeth has a medical emergency.

Ugly Betty (2006-2009)

1-8 Four Thanksgivings and a Funeral
Wilhelmina tries to cook a turkey and Daniel attends his parents’ brunch.

Out of Practice (2005)

1-9 Thanks
The family wants to avoid the disasters of Thanksgivings past.

Alias (2001-2005)

1-7 Color Blind
Sydney gets important intel while trapped in an asylum in Romania. Will continues investigating Danny’s murder. Francine’s bf proposes on Thanksgiving.

Dawson’s Creek (1998-2002)
dawsons creek
3-8 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
Jen’s mom shows up. Grams cooks dinner at the Leery’s.

Dirty Sexy Money (2007-2008)

2-10 The Facts
When the Darlings are away for Thanksgiving their chauffeur tells his version of their family rumors.

Married with Children (1987-1996) (Not Currently Available)

11-6 A Bundy Thanksgiving
A death threatens Al’s Thanksgiving tradition.

Last Updated: November 2016

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