Movie Quotes: Observe and Report

Observe and Report is a dark comedy about a security guard at a mall who decides that he wants to become a police officer when he sees the opportunity to prove himself. This occurs when a flasher targets his mall. The film stars Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta and Anna Faris.

You can click the screencaps to see the larger versions.

Female Reporter: “I’m standing here at Forest Ridge Mall where earlier today a man exposed himself to several women before fleeing the scene. I’m here with Ronnie Barnhardt, one of the security guards here at the mall…”
Ronnie: “No, cut. Uh, you fucked up, ma’am, I’m the head of mall security you should do that again and say it right”
Female Reporter: “Uh, well Officer Barnhardt”
Ronnie: “Action”
Female Reporter: “Right, uh, is there any information you can shed on this situation?”
Ronnie: “You’re just gonna keep goin’ even though you fucked up my title?”
Female Reporter: (nods)
Ronnie: “Okay, well I’m standing here with this doctor”

Ronnie: “Everyone thinks they’re fine until someone puts something in them they don’t want in them”

Ronnie: “…it’s actually kinda my job to put myself in harm’s way to protect weaker people such as yourself who are you know cripped in the leg and what not…”

Ronnie: “…it’s clear that this pervert is some kind of sociopathic genius who plans on coming back here and finishing what he started, by murdering Brandi”
Brandi: “Oh my god, is that gonna happen? Is that true?”
Ronnie: “It’s gonna happen”
Detective Harrison: “No, it’s not gonna happen”
Ronnie: “He’s gonna murder you Brandi”

Ronnie: “Race has nothing to do with this, you fit the profile…”
Saddamn: “My dick is brown you dumb motherfucker”

Saddamn: “…last week he comes here and tells me he knows that he’s discovered my plot to blow up the Chick-fil-A. Why the fuck would I blow up Chick-fil-A? It’s fucking delicious”

Nell: “…but I think you should know that there’s no shame in going after what your dreams, so few people do it and I think you should keep doing it, no matter how many people laugh at you”
Ronnie: “Who’s laughing at me? No one laughs at me, if anything I laugh at other idiots who are tryin’ do what they want, no one laughs at me for trying to do my destiny, not how this works…”

Police Officer: “…he’s probably gonna get killed”
Detective Harrison: “Good, I hope he does get killed, fuck him, I don’t care, I’m telling you, I hate this guy”

Mom: “You know I remember when your father picked me up for our first date. I swear he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on, I knew right then and there that I would fuck him that night and that I would end up marrying him.”
Ronnie: “I sure hope that happens to me tonight.”

Ronnie: “Do you think it was my fault that dad left?”
Mom: “Definitely”

Ronnie: “Wow, that was impressive, you, I like to drink fast too so”

Ronnie: “So Brandi, I’m just dying to know, how much do you love working at this mall?”
Brandi: “Oh god, I hate that shit…”

Brandi: “Oh my god, where did you get these?” (looking at pill bottle) “Clonazepam, that’s some good shit, I’m impressed. I did not think you partied like that”
Ronnie: “God do I ever party, I party like this every 4 to 6 hours”

Brandi: (doing a shot of tequila) “Oh my god, it burns so good”

(in bed during sex she seems to be sleeping so he stops)
Brandi: “Why are you stopping motherfucker?”
Ronnie: “I’m sorry, oh god I’m sorry”

Mom: (to Dennis) “You know when Ronnie was, um, in high school I used to fuck all his friends”

Ronnie: “…unfortunately, no this picture of a penis does not cheer me up”

Dennis: “Ronnie, please can you take the dick off your face?”

Ronnie: “…finding out whose penis that is is my last shot at redemption”

Mom: “…try to look on the bright side, you may not be the smartest person in the world but you’re handsome from certain angles…”

Mom: “I just want you to know I’m ready to make a change”
Ronnie: “You’re gonna stop drinking?”
Mom: “I’m switching to beer, I can pound those all day and still keep my shit together and I’m doing it for you”
Ronnie: “I’m so proud of you mom”

Ronnie: “and if anyone here wants a girl to have sex with you and then fuck your enemy go to Brandi cuz she’s the girl that does that”

Ronnie: “I want everyone to know Ronnie Barnhardt caught the pervert, not the fuckin’ police”

You may also enjoy:
Movie Quotes: The Green Hornet
Movie Quotes: Paul
Movie Quotes: 50/50
Movie Quotes: Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Movie Quotes: Funny People
Tenderfeet: 12 Hotties Under 30-includes Seth Rogen
Movie Quotes: What’s Your Number?
Top Stoner Comedies On Netflix Streaming-includes Smiley Face starring Anna Faris
When They Were Young-includes Ray Liotta

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge