No Longer a Mallrat

Dec
2011
29

posted by on Life

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As a teen I hung out at the mall with friends (just like in those 90s movies that you see). We were poor but we did window shop a lot. Plus not everything was so expensive & as a teen girl my main interests there lie in CD singles & costume jewelry from Claire’s. Top that off with a slice of pizza and some cheap photobooth shots and you could call it an afternoon.

I rarely go anymore. For years the two local malls were ghost towns, one more so than the other. The one nearby also jacked up their prices. Then the worst thing happened…a bunch of preppy stores opened up. Although I did a small happy dance when they introduced Hot Topic & Spencer’s I scowl every time I now have to pass Aeropostale, American Eagle Outfitters and whatever the names of the other breeding grounds for assholes have assigned themselves.

Today I went. I went for the after Christmas sale. I believe this is the first time that I hit it up in 2 years. Usually if I go to the mall now it’s with a very specific purpose & I’m in and out of 2 stores in a nanosecond.

Not so today. Today the stores were crowded, overly loud and hot. Effeminate teen males roved all over the place. I couldn’t tell if their next moves were to lean in and smooch each other while insulting passersbys or insulting some prepubescent girls in animal hats and then say crass things about their rear ends.

Let’s bypass the fact that I don’t belong there. I’m already aware of that. At this point the mall is mainly a hangout for teens who are taking a break from sexting and the mall walking seniors.

However I used to at least be able to find things to buy there. Today I visitied Spencer’s and realized that the full makeover had taken place. It’s now the land of Tapout and gag sex gifts. When those took up small spaces in the store I didn’t care. To each his own. Now though if I want to look at tees, lingerie, jewelry etc I have to overhear a kid ask his dad what a dildo is. Not to mention the fact that much of the old awesome stuff has been fazed out.

At Hot Topic I was assaulted by the smallness, as always but this time more so. Boxes were crammed everywhere. It was like shopping at Aldi’s. The music was as loud as when you stand right next to a speaker connected to the sound system at a concert on the side of the stage. The cashiers were wearing nondescript (but at least still black) clothing and there were 5000 Justin Bieber shirts for sale. Now given it’s a sale, they can’t get rid of those but WHY THE FUCK DOES HOT TOPIC NOW STOCK BIEBER SHIT? I looked around, I’m old now, I don’t recognize all of the bands on the tees. The ones that I do recognize are the type of shitty, forgettable post-emo, post-goth, post-any type of style/sound bands that you see (and use as your excuse to grab another brew and hit the john) during Saturday Night Live. There a few cute bras, tutus and semi odd/fun clothing choices. But for the post part it was all baby looking shit. Don’t get me wrong, a pair of Domo slippers is awesome, a cupcake tee is awesome but two walls covered in pieces/accessories made entirely out of fake hair that I would have passed on at the age of 7 (for it being too babyish) is lame. Where’s the Lip Service? Where are the hot guys with six facial piercings, skateboard pants and fishnets shirts who snarl at you while they ring up your purchases? THAT was Hot Topic. This is wishy washy bullshit.

We don’t have any of the in between stores I enjoy such as Old Navy and Victoria’s Secret. I have to say this town just keeps getting worse and worse and I see no escape on the horizon.

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