Archive for July 2012 | Monthly archive page

posted by on Fashion/Beauty, Sexuality

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Initially I was apprehensive when I saw the Wetlook capri pants by Coquette on EdenFantasys. My first thought was that they were only for thin girls. Luckily I try to break out of that mindset these days. Since there were already a few reviews to peruse I checked them out. In seemed to me that they looked hot on ladies of all sizes and fit true to size. These are available in sizes small, medium, large, extra large and 1X/2X.

I wear a size 10-12 in pants (as always, no specific measurements due to my history of disordered eating). According to the Coquette size chart a large will fit a size 12-14, 30-32″ waist and 40-42″ hips. I probably could have sized down to the medium in these and still had them fit. Their medium is listed as a 10-12. However I wanted to wear them lower. Plus I have a booty and thighs to think about. I am also 5’4″ tall to give you an idea of where they may hit you depending on your height.

Of course I measured them myself as well. Unstretched the waist measures 28″ but easily stretches to over 33″. The hips measure 34″ and easily stretch to over 40″. The inseam of the capris is 19″. The length from the top of the pant to the bottom is about 25″.

The pants come in a simple plastic bag with the name of the item and the size listed on a sticker on the bag. They are folded and the material sticks to itself so the pants initially appear smaller than they actually are.

The Coquette tag is attached to the pants with a ribbon and a pin. The tag mentions that they are from Coquette’s Darque collection (by the way, a ton of items in the Darque collection are super sexy). The inside of the tag shows a model wearing the capris with a matching wet look top from Coquette.

close up of the fabric

I know that frankly fashion rules say large thighs shouldn’t be shiny but I enjoy throwing all fashion rules out the window. Here I’ve paired these with a simple black tank top that is actually a workout top but is so fun that I have often worn it out at night.

just to show how stretchy the waist band is

I LOVE these capris. They are comfy and they make me feel like Sandy at the end of Grease.

So when I wore them out to a local bar I wore the above paired with my faux leather bomber that I’ve been sporting forever and my faux leather boots.

apologies for the blurry camera phone pic, I was in a hurry

I felt very sexy and comfortable while wearing these out. Since these are leggings didn’t feel overly hot like I have in the past in those thick pleather pants that we used to wear in the 90s. I actually plan on wearing these outdoors this summer.

They do ride low in the back when you are sitting. I had on a cute black glittery thong, so when it peeked out it wasn’t a big deal. Plus I was wearing the tank and jacket. However I’d recommend maybe some boycut panties instead so they don’t peak out.

These capris are 80% nylon and 20% spandex. According to the inner tag they are to be hand washed only and then hung to dry.

Some other pieces that would look sexy with these capris are below:





Of course any sexy black top that you already have at home will probably look fab with these. I highly recommend buying a pair. They are at a great price point as well.

product picture
Pants by Coquette
Material: Nylon / Spandex

Note: The posters in the background are from NovelPoster. I was one of their initial backers on Kickstarter. I chose Kanye West and Alice in Wonderland.

You may also enjoy:
Fashion Review: Dominate Him in Pinstripes
Fashion Review: Shiny Red Freakum Dress
At Attention Boys: G.I. Girl Costume Review
Cuff Em: Sergeant Sexy Costume Review

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posted by on Fashion/Beauty, Library, Lists, Movies/TV

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A while back I happened to be browsing the biographies section of our local library. I was mainly looking for author bios but a brightly colored book stuck out. Grabbing it off the shelf my inner 5 year old was giddy. The book was Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life. I was in awe, I was excited, I was confused.

The book was published in 1983 (the year of my birth!) and was written as told to Henry Beard (aka by him, since she’s a muppet). Apparently he was one of the founders of the National Lampoon magazine.

The crazy thing is that it’s an awesome book. As I repeatedly perused the pages I knew that had to share it with you guys. It’s funny, empowering to women (odd since it’s by a man in the early ’80s) and written with an adult tone. Though tempting I did not scan the entire book (also plagiarism, ahem) but I wanted to highlight some key parts.

Now let’s bask in the wonder of Miss Piggy’s wisdom, aka one of my role models while growing up (which also includes Dolly Parton, hmm, no wonder I’m a bottle blonde).

1. Complexion Perfection


Miss Piggy advises a simple skin care regime of basically washing your fae with water, admiring it and then eating candy, how can you go wrong?

Yes, tanning is bad for you, blah, blah, blah. If you’re saying that you never do it though, you are lying. She advises tanning in moderation as Kermit has been known to go from green to blue with too much exposure.

2. Depression

Obviously not for serious depression but if you have a bit of the blues think about things that could be worse (see above). No TV, the horror!

3. “Dieting”

(please read her scale)
Sure you could diet but it’s restrictive and not at all fun, besides you probably burn some calories just being your amazing self, right?

4. Have a Little Fun (ex. Spin the Bottle)

This is actually under party planning advice but I just needed to share that somewhere out there muppets are playing spin the bottle. BTW-a quick spin the bottle tip from moi? Don’t let it evolve into groping. The whole group dynamic goes down the toilet.

5. Exercising

If you’re bf could actually exercise for you that would be amazing. Yes, you can exercise but don’t forget about all of the above activities you may do that already burn calories.

6. How to Model

Modeling is actually under exercise. I know that sounds ridiculous but there have been times that I woke up the next day after taking photos and wondered why does this muscle hurt? Oh yeah, I was crouching down for that perfect shot. These are some key pin up looks that I recommend you try ASAP. So fun!

7. Choosing a Career (based on the clothes)

Before Elle Woods, Miss Piggy also considered a career in law but the robes are just not flattering. She’s a wonderful model but she isn’t into actually dieting so she also rules that out. The underground food critic option sounds like a good choice for her, though I abhor the outfit.

In case this sounds like an odd way to choose a career I must tell you a tale. As someone who has always been fascinated by fashion my father once remarked after seeing me browsing a Newport News catalog, “you can wear suits like that every day if you become a secretary”. Surprisingly I was a teen in the 90s, not the 40s, I know, I know.

8. Cooking

As any modern woman of the 80s, or 90s, or whatever the hell you call the decade that we currently reside in, who the fuck wants to cook? Not moi. Order takeout instead and save your energy for after dinner smooches.

The message that you take away from this book is surprisingly better than any actual, serious self help book I’ve ever read. Don’t take life so seriously and have some fun!

FYI-This book is out of print (sigh), so most people are gouging the price of it.

or you can try eBay

You may also enjoy:
Super Links: 11/20/11-featuring Miss Piggy in a punk rock look from MAC
Movies Quotes: Disney’s Tangled
Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Beauty and the Beast

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posted by on Fashion/Beauty, Sexuality

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I recently received the super sexy Executive sweet bustier with hose courtesy of EdenFantasys. Being that I’m normally unintentionally celibate I enjoy ordering lingerie that can be worn out when paired with other pieces. My intention was to get this to wear to an event next month, either with black jeans or black dress pants.


The executive sweet bustier with hose comes with a pair of attached garters, a pair of thigh highs and a matching thong. The outfit arrived in a clear plastic bag with a description of the contained bustier on it. The bustier features underwire and plastic boning.

For reference I am a size 10-12 with a 36C or 38C cup (depending on the brand). I ordered the large. According to the Escante Size Chart a large will fit someone who is a size 10-14, with a C or D cup and the following measurements, 36-38″ bust, 32-34″ waist and 34-36″ hips who weighs from 140-160lbs. As I’m on the upper end of those measurements I probably would have opted for an XL if one were offered but it’s only available in sizes small, medium or large. (Again I have to mention that I do not give my specific weight or measurements due to past and present disordered eating issues). Laid flat but laced the actual measurements that I was able to take were 26-24-26. I was easily able to pull and stretch those to 32-30-32.


The day that I received this I automatically had to put it on. It’s so hot! I did have a bit of difficulty getting it on. I don’t really have a waist (that’s not an insult to myself, I have more of straight frame). I also have moderate scoliosis. It makes it a bit uncomfortable to try to tie, zip and adjust it while on. I found that the best way to do so (for me) was to lace it up, leave the side zipped and then pull it over my head. As you can see from the above photo, for me to wear this bustier as is I would have to leave a gap in the middle. It comes with two sets of ties that are meant to tie from either end and then meet in the middle. I was a bit discouraged but I do know how I’m built. At this point I decided that I needed longer ties and would have to put off taking proper photos for another day.

A few days later was watching The Client List movie with a friend while enjoying some wine slushies. When it got to the outfit montage scene I immediately remembered the bustier and had to put it on. I had found an extra pair of black shoelaces lying around my house and used those to fill in the middle space (as seen above). I eventually intend on buying very long strings that I can lace completely from top to bottom. And then I was in love. This is definitely a hot little number.

yes, I missed the top holes when lacing it, I blame the booze, lol

I apologize for the high school hand pose, just me being goofy.



Fueled by wine and the illusion of now having a waist I decided that I could not take this off and once the film was over I would go out. I paired it with some dark blue jeans. I would have worn black but couldn’t recall where I’d left them. Since I’d decided to wear it out I had to decide, the enclosed thong or a pair of larger black panties. I went with the latter because I was feeling bloated. However if you think that you may get lucky I highly recommend opting for the thong as you are otherwise presented with a Bridget Jones type situation.

front and back view of the matching thong

The thong measures 8″ high in length from top to bottom, both front and back (a total of 16″ altogether). The band of the thong measures about 27″ unstretched but easily stretches to at least 40″. The crotch part of the thong measures 2″ wide.

from the bag, from the inner tag on the bustier

Both the bustier and the thong consist of 97% cotton and 3% elastane. The reverse side of the tag on the bustier gives the following laundering information: machine wash gentle cycle, wash separately with non chlorine bleach, do not wring or twist, line dry, iron on lowest temperature.


The hose came in a simple plastic packaging which I was unable to photograph because of the reflection of the packaging. I’d say the less said about them the better. They are very plain. There is no doubt that I have large thighs that aren’t exactly flattered by these types of tights (I usually only wear garters over full fishnets and attach them for effect). I did try one on nonetheless but I’m not posting a photo as it was incredibly unflattering. I was able to stretch one up to about right above my knee. These would probably due for a smaller woman but I’d still recommend picking up some dressier, more sturdy tights to pair with this outfit anyway.

Instead I would order any of the below hose.

Triangle pattern jacquard pantyhose

Striped jacquard pantyhose

Vertical stripe panythose

completely open inside view

close up of the side zipper

After I was ready and about to do my hair and makeup I was trying to figure out why my breasts weren’t showing the type of cleavage on the tag. I don’t have breast implants or anything but they are a decent size that work for my frame. It was then that i realized that the top has actual adjustable bra straps. I adjusted them and came away with the oomph that I was looking for. Sorry for forgetting to get a photo of that after.

All in all I highly recommend buying the Executive sweet bustier with hose. It not only looks great on and makes you feel sexy but it also works. I hit a dive bar in it (wearing a small cardigan over it because I’m somewhat modest and felt naked in the back) and men definitely dug it.

product picture
Bustier by Escante
Material: Cotton / Elastic
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

You may also enjoy:
Fashion Review: Shiny Red Freakum Dress
At Attention Boys: G.I. Girl Costume Review
Cuff Em: Sergeant Sexy Costume Review

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posted by on Movie Reviews, Movies/TV

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4.5 out of 5 stars

Note: spoilers abound

This post is for the current LAMB Movie of the Month: The Shape of Things. I’m not always crazy about the writer/director of this film, Neil Labute’s, work but I’m big fan of this flick. While the story is, of course integral to that, it’s actually the amazing acting by Rachel Weisz and Paul Rudd that initially drew me to (and continues to draw me back to) this disturbing film.

“You could be a sadist for all I know”  “Stop sweet talking me.”

Aside from Rudd and Weisz there are really only 2 other main characters, a yuppie couple played by Frederick Weller and Gretchen Moll. Weller looks like he’d fit right into a Whit Stillman movie, making the viewer (or at least this viewer) instantly hate him. Moll is interminably boring in this flick. Pre The Notorious Bettie Page I never saw a spark in her. Afterward she not only captured Bettie’s spirit but later tackled comedies, leading me to become a fan. However at this time, she was supposed to be the next big thing despite being as exciting as plain toast.

Neil LaBute originally wrote the The Shape of Things as a play. The cast who later went on to star in the flick originated the roles in the play two years prior to the filming of it. Probably my only real beef with the film is that the cast play college characters and only Moll was actually around college age during filming. However though the film is set at a college that isn’t really the point so it’s not that big of a deal.

“See I’m totally different, I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.”

The film centers on Adam (Paul Rudd). He’s a shy student and museum guard. It’s always assumed that a shy character should be drawn out so initially someone would probably think that when an anarchist artist named Evelyn (Weisz) starts flirting with him that this would only lead to good things. I can’t even explain how much more attractive this type of woman is to the faux manic pixies of our current pop culture landscape.

In reality Evelyn is continuously altering Adam, mostly by using sex and flattery as tools of manipulation. Some of the things that she gets him to change about himself are his weight, fashion sense and haircut.

“What? Did she give you a haircut and a blowjob and now you’re her puppy?”-Phillip

His friends, in particular Phillip (Weller), call him out on this fairly quickly. However Phillip is a dick. Phillip is engaged to Jenny (Gretchen Moll). The fact is that Phillip is the type of guy who nabbed Jenny because he knew that Adam was interested in her. It’s basically impossible to see what Jenny sees in Phillip aside from his dominance (she often seems to disappear into the background in his presence).

While Jenny does compliment and end up hitting on Rudd (“You’re like this totally hot guy now”), in part due to his makeover and most likely also due to both of them being taken, she actually goes into the subject more thoroughly with Weisz. Weisz seems to want to change the subject when Jenny questions her. However what is truly scary about the film is that what Jenny says is true, people often are in actual relationships with other people and they think that person should just change for them. I’m the complete opposite type of person so I’ve never really understood that. To paraphrase Jenny, “Cosmo says if you change one thing you could have the perfect man. Well Phillip has about six of those one things”.

The cruelest part of Weisz’s makeover is cutting him off from his friends after both of them have indiscretions with the other couple.

“…from the scorned girl’s handbook.”

The big reveal is that Weisz has being using Rudd as her experiment or “human sculpture” for her thesis project. She is a huge fan of performance art and takes great pride in her unveiling.

"Tell me how cute this is then? Fuck you, you heartless cunt!"

It’s definitely Weisz that steals this movie. She is so strong and interesting to watch. When you rewatch the film it’s definitely easier to see her character a bit more. While she may smile, flirt and act interested in Adam, the only times that she truly seems emotional is when she is either espousing or arguing about art. Art is her life.

The Shape of Things is definitely a must watch, but it’s not an easy watch and not for everyone.

You can watch The Shape of Things on Netflix Streaming.

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Movie Review: Total Recall (1990)-for LAMB Acting School 101: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Movie Review: The Ice Storm-LAMB Director’s Chair #26: Ang Lee
Movie Review: ZPG Zero Population Growth-retrfuturism at its best
Sonny Movie Review aka Whores In Love-starring James Franco

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posted by on Movies/TV, Netflix Streaming

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As an obsessive fan of Marilyn Monroe something came to me the other night while watching one of her flicks on Netflix. Duh! She needs to have her own Online Movie Resource on my site.

If you aren’t familiar with this concept, what I do is scour the net for legal video on demand films starring a certain actor. Thus far I had only put together one for the amazing Johnny Depp last summer but a post of this nature is definitely needed for the lovely, talented Marilyn as well.

Enjoy!

SUBSCRIPTION
Netflix (subscription)
All About Eve
How to Marry a Millionaire
Monkey Business
River of No Return
The Seven Year Itch
There’s No Business Like Show Business
Marilyn in Manhattan (documentary)

Epix (subscription)
Love Happy

Hulu/Hulu Plus (free/subscription)
Marilyn Monroe: In the Movies
Marilyn in Manhattan
The Hollywood Collection Marilyn Monroe: Beyond the Legend

(all are about her, not actual movies)

FREE
YouTube (free)
Home Town Story

Internet Archive (free, public domain)
Home Town Story
The Legend of Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe-Beyond the Legend

Amazon Instant Video (Video On Demand, pay per title)
over 30 titles (affiliate link)

The following titles are included with their subscription service Amazon Prime:
Home Town Story
The Misfits
The Seven Year Itch
Hollywood Collection: Marilyn Monroe: Beyond the Legend

TV
TV Guide’s listing of Marilyn Monroe movies airing in the near future.

You may also enjoy:
Just Because: Marilyn Monroe
Just Because: More Marilyn Monroe
my Marilyn Monroe tags on tumblr
Johnny Depp Online Movie Resource

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