Food Review: Archer Farms Gyro Wood-Fired Crust Pizza

** (out of 5)

Archer Farms Gyro Pizza

As a fan of basically pizza flavored anything it’s not at all unusual for me to randomly choose a new frozen pizza to try. I recently picked this one up at Target for about $4. Last week I bought one covered in tomatoes, thinking they were meat in passing (did my eyes get worse?). It’s pizza so it’s usually a safe bet, right? Here, not so much.

I’ve had other Archer Farms pizzas, including the Mediterranean Arugula & Tomato and Spinach and Goat Cheese. They were quite yummy. When I spotted this gyro inspired pizza I was intrigued. My mind immediately went back to the last gyro I ate (over the summer in Philly, delicious) and that cheese steak pizza from Domino’s. Sure this wouldn’t be as great as either of those but a girl can imagine.

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The box boasts the following ingredients, cooked “gyro meat”, tomatoes, onions, a Greek yogurt sauce and feta cheese. As an adventurous pizza goer that sounded just fine to me. The directions recommend cooking it for 13-15 minutes at 425F until the crust is golden brown. It took my oven about 12 minutes to slightly burn it. Yes, my oven is also an overachiever. A “wood-fired” pizza can totally pull off a bit of a burn though.

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A suggested pairing for this pizza is a salad of spinach, kalamata olives, fresh herbs and sliced red onion. I was, um, out of all of that. I still had put together a salad as I always follow the direct orders of a pizza box.So I went with the items pictured above. Salad ingredients or random fridge leftovers? You decide. The recommended serving is 1/3rd of the pizza. I usually cut these into 6 pieces. Then I eat 2 of them, resulting in exactly the serving size! (Nailing it).

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Verdict? I feel somewhat let down about pizza in general at this moment. The cooked “gyro meat” (beef, lamb, water, bread crumbs) was okay. I loved the crust. Thin crusts are my favorite. The rest of it was a mess. I know this is Greek and Greek yogurt is super popular right now (just ask John Stamos), but it’s unfortunately tart on this pizza. How about never put yogurt on a pizza? Thanks. The tomatoes and onion were bland. In fact I just ate this and didn’t realize there were even tomatoes on it. A member of my family chimed in that the onions tasted boiled. Gross. Feta cheese doesn’t lend itself to melting, which looks super odd on a pizza. I could barely taste this feta. It was overwhelmed by the yogurt sauce. Blech.

Pass. That “salad” was tastier.

Nutrition Facts:
(for 1/3 pizza)
250 calories
90 calories from fat
10 grams of fat
3 grams of saturated fat
0 grams of trans fat
10 milligrams of cholesterol
730 milligrams of sodium
32 grams of carbohydrates
2 grams of dietary fiber
3 grams of sugar
10 grams of protein

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