Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

posted by on Fashion/Beauty, Life, Style File

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Well as Ted would say on How I Met Your Mother “the thing about New Year’s Eve is that it sucks”.

Betsey Johnson Evening Dress-eBay, Smart and Sexy bra-Walmart, Temptress by ShoeDazzle pumps

This year I was friendless (not unusual) and feeling ill. However I know from past experience that if I don’t leave my house on NYE I will be super depressed and down on myself for not trying. I live in the middle of nowhere. Most bars were closed. They do this sometimes on major holidays to avoid the sloppy drunks who may damage their bar or cause a fight. I had 2 choices-the fun gay bar in town or a bus trip to Wheeling Island Casino. The problem with the bar is that it’s in town and I hate this town. I went to Wheeling last New Year’s Eve. The big problem then was that it was incredibly overcrowded. You couldn’t even get a slot machine about halfway through the night. Plus it would have cost a lot more to take the bus trip. So I decided on the local bar.

A few days before I started feeling ill. This means that my attempts to by a dress were incredibly half assed. I was only in the stores for a few minutes, felt dizzy and left. I also never got around to buying pantyhose. So on NYE I was stumbling around my house sweaty and nauseous trying on every dress I could find. I assumed I’d go with an old slinky black dress that resembles something a ballerina would wear and jazz it up with the accessories. (BTW-how cute is this nail polish that I won from Agent Lover) I couldn’t find that. I eventually settled on this cute Betsey Johnson dress I’d scored on eBay a few months prior. It was incredibly cheap because it was used and the straps were torn. So I cut them the rest of the way off and attached them to a new, cute purple bra with some small safety pins. Yay, it worked!

I didn’t get there until almost 11:30, which was fine with me. I figured that I’d stay an hour. That way I could at least be out with people when it turned midnight, I know. I had a couple of drinks, there was a drag show, a DJ was spinning great dance music and they gave us champagne for midnight. It was pretty nice. At almost 12:30 when I was getting ready to leave some girl I went to high school (the bane of my existence-see here) with came up and started talking at me. She was with her friend who was also a classmate.

So now I had a dilemma. If I left right then (which was my plan) it would look like I was letting people run me out of there. However if I stayed I was worried I’d start knocking back shots of tequila and make an ass of myself. So instead I figured I’d get one more drink, stay another hour and then leave. Um, the drink was a Four Loko. I did enjoy watching some hot gay guys dance while I tried to finish the huge drink. Eventually I did and left.

Of course that thing hit me when I got home. It was good because I remembered to take outfit pictures. I had already removed my jewelry because it was itching me though. Oops. However it was bad because I talked to someone I always argue with and argued with them, shockers. xd. Plus I posted unintelligible things online (that I later deleted).

So I went to bed feeling like my shitty 18 year old self but at least I was covered in lotion with glitter.

Temptress by ShoeDazzle pumps, Gold Glitz Milano Nail Lacquer, clutch-thrifted

necklace, earrings and bracelet-Burlington Coat Factory, ring-Dots

I enjoy taking photos in the bathroom of the bar to prove that I left my house.

Get The Look

missemmamm's NYE 2011 to 2012


missemmamm’s NYE 2011 to 2012 by missemmamm featuring flower rings

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No Longer a Mallrat


posted by on Life

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As a teen I hung out at the mall with friends (just like in those 90s movies that you see). We were poor but we did window shop a lot. Plus not everything was so expensive & as a teen girl my main interests there lie in CD singles & costume jewelry from Claire’s. Top that off with a slice of pizza and some cheap photobooth shots and you could call it an afternoon.

I rarely go anymore. For years the two local malls were ghost towns, one more so than the other. The one nearby also jacked up their prices. Then the worst thing happened…a bunch of preppy stores opened up. Although I did a small happy dance when they introduced Hot Topic & Spencer’s I scowl every time I now have to pass Aeropostale, American Eagle Outfitters and whatever the names of the other breeding grounds for assholes have assigned themselves.

Today I went. I went for the after Christmas sale. I believe this is the first time that I hit it up in 2 years. Usually if I go to the mall now it’s with a very specific purpose & I’m in and out of 2 stores in a nanosecond.

Not so today. Today the stores were crowded, overly loud and hot. Effeminate teen males roved all over the place. I couldn’t tell if their next moves were to lean in and smooch each other while insulting passersbys or insulting some prepubescent girls in animal hats and then say crass things about their rear ends.

Let’s bypass the fact that I don’t belong there. I’m already aware of that. At this point the mall is mainly a hangout for teens who are taking a break from sexting and the mall walking seniors.

However I used to at least be able to find things to buy there. Today I visitied Spencer’s and realized that the full makeover had taken place. It’s now the land of Tapout and gag sex gifts. When those took up small spaces in the store I didn’t care. To each his own. Now though if I want to look at tees, lingerie, jewelry etc I have to overhear a kid ask his dad what a dildo is. Not to mention the fact that much of the old awesome stuff has been fazed out.

At Hot Topic I was assaulted by the smallness, as always but this time more so. Boxes were crammed everywhere. It was like shopping at Aldi’s. The music was as loud as when you stand right next to a speaker connected to the sound system at a concert on the side of the stage. The cashiers were wearing nondescript (but at least still black) clothing and there were 5000 Justin Bieber shirts for sale. Now given it’s a sale, they can’t get rid of those but WHY THE FUCK DOES HOT TOPIC NOW STOCK BIEBER SHIT? I looked around, I’m old now, I don’t recognize all of the bands on the tees. The ones that I do recognize are the type of shitty, forgettable post-emo, post-goth, post-any type of style/sound bands that you see (and use as your excuse to grab another brew and hit the john) during Saturday Night Live. There a few cute bras, tutus and semi odd/fun clothing choices. But for the post part it was all baby looking shit. Don’t get me wrong, a pair of Domo slippers is awesome, a cupcake tee is awesome but two walls covered in pieces/accessories made entirely out of fake hair that I would have passed on at the age of 7 (for it being too babyish) is lame. Where’s the Lip Service? Where are the hot guys with six facial piercings, skateboard pants and fishnets shirts who snarl at you while they ring up your purchases? THAT was Hot Topic. This is wishy washy bullshit.

We don’t have any of the in between stores I enjoy such as Old Navy and Victoria’s Secret. I have to say this town just keeps getting worse and worse and I see no escape on the horizon.


posted by on Christmas, Family, Life, Lists

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My grandma still has game.

Recently I’ve seen people posting about their holiday traditions. I read, thought that’s nice and then moved on. I assumed that we didn’t have any. It doesn’t bother me. My mother and sister always get up in arms about that though and say things like “we don’t have any traditions” or “did you buy new decorations, again?”. Now it’s easy to think that you don’t have any. As a child you are mainly worried about which package holds the Barbie instead of the hideous pants. As an adult you’re just thinking “I hope they like it, I hope they didn’t spend a disproportionate amount on me“.

I realized that we actually do have some accidental traditions. They’ve come about organically but there’s no reason that you can’t just start incorporating some of them into Christmas day or Christmas weekend.

Play a Board Game

"Why are you laughing? It's a nickname for Richard"-my mother

I know what you are thinking, “What’s a board game? Where do I plug it in?”. Okay so I am not a video game person. Perhaps your family could play video games but they strike me as more solitary (especially if one player is more advanced). Also if you are an adult with older parents they may not be keen on them either.

Well we like to play board games. Usually my sister or I have to talk/beg everyone to play. Yes, we know it takes a while, yes people may argue but it’s fun.

If you don’t have a game ask someone else who is visiting to bring one. Of course you can also buy one. The price will vary drastically depending on the game, store, etc. I’ve bought Monopoly sets for $5 and Clue for $30. You can also check out a thrift store. I see games I’d play at our local store at least 30% of the time. Yes, I have bought some for $1, score!

The silliest exchanges can come from playing board games. I found a 40 year old version of Risk recently. We played it and it was hilarious. We were fighting for countries that don’t exist anymore and ones we’d never actually want. I’m like “No, I will never give up control of Afghanistan!”. If you play a themed version some people will have no idea what’s going on. My mother on Star Wars Monopoly, “Why are the houses ships?”. My mother on Seinfeld Monopoly “What is sponge worthy?”.

There must be some game that you would enjoy out there. Here’s a small list that includes our favorites.

Mall Madness

Sing with Your Family

I'm surprised they went with the original lyrics on this one.

As a child we used to bring home free booklets of Christmas carols and my parents would make us sing. “Hey, this is not cool. I do not want to sing with you guys”. A few years ago my father bought those inexpensive karaoke microphones that plug right into the TV or DVD player. We used those until they went kaput and when that happened last year we kept singing. Some people get entirely to into The 12 Days of Christmas. You don’t have to just sing Christmas songs either. My father likes the beat of Walkin on the Sun. It was too funny to see him singing about smoking weed and not even realizing it. I’ve read that some people make their own YouTube playlists of the karaoke versions of songs and sing along to those. You can also go for those bigger karaoke models. Just make sure that you buy compatible CDs if you do. It’s such an easy mistake…that I’ve made.

Document Everything

As a child my parents drove me insane with recording Christmas…for years. My dad had just bought a cutting edge VHS camera and he was eager to shoot people’s feet as often as possible. We also always take photos at family gatherings, especially holidays. Nowadays you don’t even have to wait a second for your digital camera to pop open since it’s likely that someone will have a cutting edge phone that shoots photos in 5MP. Just remember to beg that person to send the photos to your email (so you can print them later). Another option is to pick up a one time use camera. This goes hand in hand with wearing silly head wear (ex. Santa hats and reindeer ears), as I’ve mentioned previously. Don’t forget to don some cute new PJs or a Christmas sweater (non-ironically please). These days my sister and I are the ones taking pictures after my parents or other siblings enthusiasm has waned.

Eat Chocolate

After all of the above commotion, plus eating a huge meal and opening presents you’ll probably want to unwind with some chocolate. We like to give each other candy as presents. Everyone has a different favorite and then we will, of course, steal some from each other. It doesn’t have to be a large amount if you don’t want to have to eat it for days or a week. There are Rocher 3 packs and small bags of fake chocolate coins that you can get that will be gone pronto! My sister’s favorite? You guessed it, that orange chocolate ball above.

Give an Unexpected Gift

As a child we received gifts from the Angel Tree program. It was really great. I’m still a poor person but we take care of our own. (Don’t believe me? Guess who donated to Hurricane Katrina when I was a cashier? It wasn’t the people with Chanel bags.) In the past I never remember until it’s too late. Last year I had some dough and actually remembered in November. I was very excited. I chose a young girl who seemed very much like me as a kid. She liked My Little Pony and the color pink. This year I was a little slow on the uptake and didn’t remember until early December. I chose an older girl who seemed uncool and wouldn’t be picked. I put myself in the mindset of myself at that age and thought of what girls today like and I think I found her a few cool things.

It’s simple. You can choose someone online (with a search function) and even buy and have it shipped directly from JC Penney if you want. I bought my gifts at the store (so I could get stuff from different locations) and hand delivered it (last year) and shipped it (this year) to that branch of the Salvation Army. I recommend choosing someone local since when I mailed it I had to think about the size of the package, which means you may not be able to include larger items.

You can’t do it this year but you can participate next year. There are a ton of other programs like this out there. I recommend reading this post from the Bloggess with many donation ideas. Don’t forget to check the comments too.

You can also always just give a present without expecting one to a friend or acquaintance. The problem with this is that it often puts them in a situation in which they feel like they have to give you something too even if they are busy or can’t afford it.

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posted by on Excursions, Family, Halloween, Life


In 2007 I visited The Maryland Zoo in Baltimore with my sister. We had a ton of fun. I just happened to come across these while looking through holiday photos. I was actually surprised to see that I had some decent photos because (as I recall) it was overly hot that day and many animals were taking refuge in their habitats. Since it was years ago I also had a lower megapixel camera but since I was extra photo crazy back then I had a taken a ton of pictures, some of which I find really freakin’ adorable.

I’m not familiar with all of these animals but I used the zoo’s site to try to identify them. When possible I have listed the name of the animal under its photo linked to info on it at the official site. If I’ve misidentified any and you can let me know the actual name in the comments I would appreciate that.

(click the photos for the larger versions)

Coquerel’s Sifaka
This is a type of lemur from Madagascar. It’s so cute that I wished I could’ve kidnapped it.

When I visited they had quite a few of these. At one point a child of about 7 years old was standing next to me. He leaned in and touched his face and palms against the glass. A second later the Chimpanzee struck the same pose and the kid jumped about a foot backwards. It was hilarious.

Eastern Screech Owl
This owl had a problem and the zoo rescued it. I believe that it had one eye. They had 1 or 2 other animals with problems too. I thought that it was great how they were taking in those animals.

African Leopard
This leopard was more active than the other animals that day. It was quite entertaining while leaping around.

Addra Gazelle
This is the tallest and largest type of gazelle. It’s also critically endangered.

Lesser Kudu
This is a type of antelope from Africa.

African Penguins
These black-footed penguins can swim up to 12 miles per hour.

These guys can run up to 40 miles per hour.

Reticulated Giraffe
Male giraffes can grow up to 19 feet tall.

I don’t know what this is but it creeps me out. I think if we came face to face it might eat me.

Oh yeah, it was during the Halloween season. Neat, huh?


posted by on Life, Movies/TV, Music


Corrupting the Amish Since 1992

(click the thumbnails to view the full photos)

When I lived in Maryland and answered the “Where are you from?” question with “Pennsylvania” the next question was “Are you Amish?” and then “Did you live on a farm?”. The quick answer to both is this

However some Mennonite kids did attend our high school. NOTE: They were just teenagers, like anyone else. What was really cool though was when I was in grade school one of our teachers arranged a field trip to an Amish school that wasn’t too far away after we had studied their culture. Since my mother thought that I was responsible she lent me her 110 camera. Yes, I’ve been taking way too many photos for years.

A classmate and I were teamed up with this nice Amish girl named Helen who asked if she could take a picture. When I said yes she ran off and finished the roll. At the time I was a little peeved. Now I think that this is pretty neat. I mean not knowing then that they didn’t allow their photo to be taken it’s probably rare to have a bunch of photos taken by an Amish girl of her everyday life.

I don’t much from the trip but I do remember that they served the best ice cream that I had ever eaten.

Note: I do not recall exactly which faith these particular people followed and I don’t remember the name of the school either.

Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic (1996)
You didn’t think that you were getting out of here without something Witness related did you?

Check It Out
Amish on Wikipedia
Mennonite Information Center
The Amish in the Media at
The Amish Village Tour in Lancaster County, PA ($8.25 for adults, $5 for children 5-12, children 4 and under are free)
Plaza Flea Market – If you are in the Baltimore, MD area check out the Amish Farmers Market section where they sell some really tasty fresh food including the best pretzels and ice cream.


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