Archive for the ‘Monthly Movie Rundown’ Category

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I did choose photos for this entry early in the month but yesterday was my birthday which means that all throughout May I was driving myself crazy with an existential crises and couldn’t get myself to focus long enough to write this. However I still want to post it because a lot of these films are blockbusters and will be out for a while. Plus I’ve actually seen some of them by now so I can give you my opinion on them.

(*****Stars are out of a possible 5*****)

Thor – 05/06



***1/2
Thor is based on the Norse god of the same name. I was really into mythology when I was young so movies like this are right up my alley. I loved 2010’s Clash of the Titans but I can’t say the same for this movie. It’s got it’s good bits but it lacks something that I can’t put my finger on. Thor is pretty much a hothead who sets the plot in action by being too brash. I saw this film at the drive in and later with someone who hadn’t seen it at the theater. After the first showing I would have given it a 3 but after the second viewing it had grown on me a bit. I freakin’ loved Odin’s (Anthony Hopkins) helmet, so ridiculous yet awesome. The film stars Chris Hemsworth (whose Thor will also be appearing in 2012’s The Avengers), Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, Kat Dennings, Idris Elba, Ray Stevenson, Rene Russo, Clark Gregg and Anthony Hopkins. The film was directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Something Borrowed-05/06

This is a sappy chick flick with, what appears to be, an obvious ending. I am a sucker for bad Kate Hudson movies though so I really want to see this. It’s about 2 best friends, one of whom let’s the other date and then marry her crush. Oh will she eventually get him back? Probably. The film stars Kate Hudson, Ginnfer Goodwin, Colin Egglesfield and John Krasinski. It’s based on the book by the same name.

The Beaver-05/06 (Limited)

Unfortunately as someone who is online way too much I’ve been hearing about this terrible movie for a long ass time. Plot: “A troubled executive adopts a beaver hand-puppet as his sole means of communicating with his family and colleagues.” (from IMDB.com). The film stars Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster and Anton Yelchin. It was also directed by Jodie Foster. I’m a big fan of Yelchin but I’m never watching this crap.

Last Night-05/06 (Limited)

Plot: “The story follows a married couple, apart for a night while the husband takes a business trip with a colleague to whom he’s attracted. While he’s resisting temptation, his wife encounters her past love. ” (from IMDB.com). The film stars Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Eva Mendes, Anson Mount, Griffin Dunne and Stephanie Romanov. Intriguing, plus I love Worthington and Mendes. Definitely a rental for me.

Passion Play-05/06 (Limited)


As a big Megan Fox fan I’ve been reading things about this film for a while. The film has actually been available since it’s theatrical release date as rental on DirecTV (only for HD subscribers). Today the DVD also went on sale. Many people were taking this as a sign that the film sucks. I think it’s because it’s odd. It looks very interesting to me. Plot: “An angel under the thumb of a ruthless gangster is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck.” (from IMDB.com). The film stars Mickey Rourke, Megan Fox, Bill Murray, Rhys Ifans, Rory Cochrane and Kelly Lynch.

Bridesmaids-05/13

****
I was predisposed to love Bridesmaids as it stars 2 actresses from SNL and was directed by the super awesome Paul Feig. The film is about Annie (Kristen Wiig) who is trying to be a kick ass maid of honor for Lillian (Maya Rudolph) even as her whole life is falling apart. Plus she has to compete with the bride’s new best friend and deal with the men in her life. As usual, Jon Hamm plays a cad handsomely. It was extremely funny. The film stars Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm, Jessica St. Clair, Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne, the late Jill Clayburgh, Wendy McLendon-Covey (Rules of Engagement), Ellie Kemper (The Office) and Chris O’Dowd.

Priest-05/13

If you follow Mindy Kaling on twitter then you have already heard this but somewhere along the way Paul Bettany decided that it would be more fun to play creepy weirdos than hot guys (and who can blame him, that does sound fun). This is his newest creepfest. He is a priest who is trying to find the vampires who kidnapped his niece. This film was pushed for a long time. Most recently this was due to them converting it to 3D but it had already been pushed prior to that, which doesn’t exactly make me think, this will be great. However it does look very creepy so I will eventually rent it. The film stars Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q (Nikita), Brad Dourif, Stephen Moyer, Christopher Plummer and Madchen Amick.

Hesher-05/13 (Limited-NYC & LA)

Plot: “After the tragic loss of his mother, T. J. and his pill popping father are forced to live with T. J.’s elderly grandmother. A young man with a troubled past named Hesher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) assumes the role of both mentor and tormentor, leading T. J. into troubles he could never have imagined. A young grocery clerk named Nicole steps in to protect T. J., and becomes the object of T. J.’s fantasies, while Hesher moves into Grandma’s home. Although uninvited, he is somehow accepted.” (from Wikipedia). The reviews of Hesher haven’t been kind but I’m definitely interested in seeing this odd film. It’s also pretty awesome that Jaime King was promoting it even though she isn’t in it. The film stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Natalie Portman and Rainn Wilson.

Everything Must Go-05/13 (Limited)

This film is a depressing looking dramedy starring Will Ferrell…Pass. A dude who loses his wife and job being redeemed by a yard sale? Uh, no. The film costars Laura Dern and Stephen Root.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides-05/20

The Pirates movies are fun and do serve their purpose but I’m not a huge fan or anything. I will either wait for the DVD or catch it in conjunction with another film at the drive in this summer. Honestly all of them sort of blur together for me. That being said there are a few things that look really neat about this one, they added Penelope Cruz and subtracted Kiera Knightley (hallelujah, she is super annoying and I’m a fan of Cruz), it involves mermaids and the Fountain of Youth and their is a cameo by Keith Richards (who Depp has said that he based Jack Sparrow on). Plus the locations look amazing. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer was tweeting photos while they were on location last summer and the photos looked amazing, they look even more stellar in the trailer. The film stars Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane and Judi Dench. It was directed by Rob Marshall.

Midnight in Paris-05/20


This is the new Woody Allen film which also stars Owen Wilson so I will be renting the DVD post haste when it comes out (I live a small town so they won’t be showing it here…ever). Plot: “While in Paris, blocked writer Gil retreats from his fiance and her parents and is drawn into a mysterious adventure rooted in the City of Lights’ artistic history. ” (from IMDB.com). The film stars Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen.

The Hangover Part 2-05/27



*****
The Hangover Part 2 is the same set up as the original film but it’s set in Bangkok. It is fucking hilarious! I usually only give a film 5 stars if it’s very rewatchable. I have only seen this once so far but I can tell that I will watch it often in the future (like I have with the original). Hurry up and go see it! The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeon, Paul Giammati, Jeffrey Tambor, Mike Tyson and Nick Cassavetes. It was directed by Todd Phillips.

Kung Fu Panda Part 2-05/27

Yes, this is animated but cute. I did see the first film and it was okay. I wasn’t yearning for a sequel but if you had to take a kid to the movies I bet there’s some laughs in it. Plot: “Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.” (from IMDB.com). Characters in the film are voiced by Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Gary Oldman, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, Davie Cross, Danny McBride and Victor Garber.

The Tree of Life-05/27 (Limited)

Yes, people are jizzing their pants over this movie but it looks like the tyhpe of sappy, sentimental crap I don’t give a shit about. Also I miss 90’s Brad Pitt. Plot: “The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.” (from IMDB.com). The film stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and Joanna Going. It was written and directed by Terence Malick.

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Here’s the deal. I wanted to do one of these like I normally do but now I have arthritis in my hands too & it’s not conducive to typing. It also makes it difficult to style thick, curly, unruly hair, so enjoy these mini movie previews of me in a Lady Gaga wig. Also, since this is my first time doing this I was in pain/in a hurry/confused & deleted some reviews so those will say thumbs up or thumbs down (even though it hurts to use my thumbs). At any rate, with this new, oh so fun problem I can’t even pretend to be normal anymore, so enjoy the performance art that is my life. Plus I apparently talk with my hands, like my mother, not fun to realize.

Take Me Home Tonight-03/04
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The Adjustment Bureau-03/04

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"you are not pulling off that hat"

 

Rango-03/04
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no, really, WTF?, we have a Beowulf situation here


Beastly-03/04

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pretty sure his mother doesn't love it either


Happythankyoumoreplease-03/04 (Limited)
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I Saw the Devil-03/04 (Limited-NYC & LA)
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thumbs up, if you like Japanese horror/revenge movies

Red State-03/05 (Limited Release-NYC)
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Elektra Luxx-03/11 (Limited Release)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiOj8eOEUxo
Women In Trouble on Netflix (EL is a sequel)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObWWHmoUE6Y
(FYI: Josh Brolin is in almost everything, cuz he rules)
thumbs up!

Certified Copy-03/11 (Limited-NYC)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM_8TPLMCOU

Black Death-03/11 (Limited-NYC)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_Yqw_pFmTQ
thumbs up

Red Riding Hood-03/11

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you may as well get a chuckle out of this


Battle: Los Angeles-03/11
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_pAsPPDdC8
not for me, but I hear good things

Jane Eyre-03/11
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thumbs down

Kill the Irishman-03/11 (Limited)
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Kilmer!



Limitless-03/18


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don't lie, you'd still tap that


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you don't scare us anymore, DeNiro


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writer's 'unblock'


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gratuitous!!!


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gratuitous!!!


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gratuitous!!!

 

thumbs up!
*suit fetish*

Paul-03/18

3 to 3.5 stars, hoping that the US version cuts out some of the extraneous gay jokes that I saw in the UK cut.

The Lincoln Lawyer-03/18
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thumbs down
*suit fetish*

Win Win-03/18 (Limited)
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thumbs down (despite Giammati), HS sports movie?, no.

Potiche-03/25 (Trophy Wife) (Limited-NYC & LA)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1OH341kK3I
thumbs up!
*quirky awesome*

Sucker Punch-03/25
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Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)

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"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)
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(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
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This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
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The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
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This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
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The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
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This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrQ4Iu8fAs
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)

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"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.

Unknown-(02/18)

This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)

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"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFbBIUcklt8
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2-hiHUh4UQ
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“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
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Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

Shelter-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSAU4-ClVxs
This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.

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Well I wasn’t sure if I’d just end up rolling this out at the last minute or not. If you read this blog semi-regularly you probably noticed that I had done a write up on all of the movies coming out for quite a few months but then I had some drama in August and didn’t get a chance. I’ve had some more stuff going on during September but I wanted to bust this out anyway. In many areas a lot of these flicks will still be out for a while longer. I’ve also simplified the title since it was getting tricky to come up with them and they weren’t as clever as I liked anyway.

The American-09/01
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George Clooney stars in what looks a bit like a B-version of a Jason Bourne movie. I would much rather watch this than one of his more serious flicks in which he tries to teach me about a boring subject I don’t give a damn about. This will probably be a rental for me.

Going the Distance-09/03
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This is a long distance romantic comedy starring real-life on again/of again couple Drew Barrymoore and Justin Long. I am a fan of both (okay I’ve been in love with Long since Jeepers Creepers, shh, don’t tell) and the trailers and TV spots look very funny. The film co-stars Christina Applegate, Jason Sudeikis, Ron Livingtson and Jim Gaffigan.

Machete-09/03
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This is the revenge exploitation flick from Robert Rodriguez that is based on his fake trailer for the film that aired in front of the Grindhouse films a few years ago. Of course, Danny Trejo stars. He is backed up by a huge cast including Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Ala, Cheech Marin, Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal. I saw the movie opening weekend. While I definitely thought it was awesome it seemed to lack something I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s over the top fun though.

The Winning Season-09/03
Apparently this is about a girls’ high school basketball team that emerges victorious or something like that. I truly love Sam Rockwell (who is starring in this) but I’m not at all interested in feel good, family sports flicks.

I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix-09/10
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Remember how Joaquin Phoenix seemed high and went on and on during a Letterman interview about how he was going to be the next big rapper? From the beginning everyone pretty much agreed that this was a weird gimmick. The film has been described as reaching a sort of Andy Kaufman sort of genius. It was directed by Casey Affleck. I will have to rent this just to see exactly what happened here. I’ve always been a huge Joaquin fan ever since To Die For/8MM.


Resident Evil: Afterlife
-09/10
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This is the 4 film in the zombie series based on the best selling video games series of the same name. I enjoyed all of the films up until now, the 3rd movie ended with me wanting more and I squeed out loud when I found out it would be in 3D. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see it when it first came out. Then our local theater had a problem with the 3D mechansim breaking down when I showed up last weekend to go see it and have never repaired it. So now if I want to see it I have to travel an hour.  Looks fantastic though. The film stars Milla Jovovich (as usual) and Ali Larter.

The Romantics-09/10
I had been hearing some good buzz about this prior to seeing the trailer. After seeing it I’m not impressed. It looks like a bunch of independent films I’ve seen about friends who have all dated each other in the past. The difference is this film seems to make the characters too self aware even saying they call themselves ‘The Romantics’ due to their partner swapping. Plus it features a well known cast including Katie Holmes, Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman and Elijah Wood.

The Virginity Hit-09/10
I haven’t seen many advertisements for this but if it’s like any other dirty ‘let’s lose our virginity’ flick it would probably crack me up.

Easy A-09/17
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This film has been described as a John Hughesesque spin on The Scarlett Letter. The first time I heard about this film was reading an interview with lead Emma Stone in which she described it as having been really toned down so they could get the rating changed from a R to PG-13. Plus her whole tone in the interview almost made her seem indifferent toward it. If she isn’t excited and spent her time making it then why should I be? Then I saw commercials for it. I’m sorry but a 17 year old losing her virginity isn’t exactly unheard of in our current world of 13 year old mothers. I earn money daily listening to teens and their woes and they are having sex younger and younger. The most common ages that I hear about them losing their virginity is often 13 or 14. Children as young as 9 have told me they ‘do it’ though. Prior to the release Myspace posted a 10 minute preview of the beginning of the movie so I checked it out. I think my main problem is that I like Emma Stone but mainly when she is more down to earth and insecure. From the looks of the film her character may bug mean when she starts fronting. I was also pretty surprised at the awesome cast which includes Malcolm McDowell, Thomas Haden Church and Stanley Tucci. I don’t really buy Amanda Bynes as a goody good anymore but I guess it could work.


The Freebie
-09/17 (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch7pOY6OZxg
I hadn’t seen anything about this until I just watched the trailer. The plot is that a bored couple decide to give each other a free pass at a one night stand. I can’t tell if this will be indie gold or boring from the trailer. However it stars Dax Shepard so I’m all over this when it hits DVD.


Jack Goes Boating
-09/17
This film is lead Philip Seymour Hoffman (who’s always amazing)’s baby as it’s his directorial debut. He also a producer on it. It’s a dark romantic comedy about some misfits which I could either way on.

The Town-09/17
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As a big Jeremy Renner fan I’ve been hearing stuff here and there about The Town for quite a while. I’m really glad that it got a large release and I’ll probably check it out in theaters soon. It’s a film about bank robbers directed by Ben Affleck. I’ve heard nothing but good things about it. The film also stars Jon Hamm, Chris Cooper and Blake Lively.


You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger
-09/22 (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLLbzJC_mp4&NR=1
This is the latest Woody Allen film. I’ve enjoyed all of his previous films that I have seen and I doubt this will the exception. The film appears to be one of his more light hearted looks at love. It stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Ewen Bremner.

Howl-09/24 (Limited)

It’s a drama centered on the obscenity trial of writer Allen Ginsberg. I’m not familiar with Ginsberg but I hope the film shows much more than the trial as that seems sort of dry. It stars James Franco, Jon Hamm, Mary-Louise Parker, Jeff Daniels and Paul Rudd.

Like Dandelion Dust-09/24 (Limited)
This looks like a really depressing movie about a family whose son was put up for adoption when the father went to jail. Now the father is out and they want him back. It stars Mira Sorvino, Barry Pepper and Cole Hauser.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps-09/24
This is a sequel to the original Wall Street and also stars Michael Douglas. The film seemed fairly unnessecary to me but I did enjoy seeing all of the shots of the sexy Shia LaBeouf suited up. Apparently I now have a thing for well dressed men. Who would have thought? The film was directed by Oliver Stone who some regard as a genius. The only film of his that I’m a big fan of is The Doors though. The less said about W. the better. It’s the only movie I’ve ever walked out of due to boredom. I really felt like it was sucking years of my life away. I thought the original Wall Street was good but not as good as the hype surrounding it. Anyway, this film really belongs to LeBeouf even though it’s Douglas that they are basically using to pimp it. He’s a young Wall Street guy who soon becomes mesmerized by Douglas’ Gordon Gecko. Of course he is also seeing Gecko’s estranged daughter. I was talked into seeing this when I was unable to see Resident Evil 4 recently. The main problem with this movie (aside from the length, ugh) is that none of the characters are likeable. LaBeouf is unabashedly driven but (like most men) wants to impress his girl, she’s sort of an always morose know it all, James Brolin is supposed to be the villain and Douglas starts out trying to make us think he changed (but I think only the most naive would believe that). It was okay but I do not see myself rewatching it anytime in the near future. The best part of the movie was definitely the wardrobe. I recommend reading about it here.

You Again-09/24
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In this movie an ex high school nerd finds out that her bro is marrying the girl who tormented her in high school. Then her mom finds out that the mother of girl was the girl who always upstaged her in high school. This does look funny. The problem is that we are supposed to buy the Kristen Bell and ‘The Body’ Jamie Lee Curtis in these roles. Sigourney Weaver and Betty White also star.

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July Movie Lilies

Jul
2010
09

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Yes, I’m a week late on this but it turns out that the only things that came out last week were vampire trash and M. Night Shyamalan’s wet dream so it’s nothing I would have highlighted anyway.

Grease-7/08 (Limited)
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You know Grease. As a child it’s that really awesome movie with the fun singing and a hot, young John Travolta. As an adult it’s not quite the same. This is a re-release sing along. Apparently they think it will go over with today’s teens because of their love of High School Musical and Glee (yuck! on both counts). I saw Grease on the big screen during the 1998 re-release. Oh, who am I kidding? If we were actually getting it here I’d go see it again. Side Note: Musical teachers love to have kids perform songs from this but change the words because they are “offensive” (okay, pussy wagon is a bit offensive for 11 year olds but changing art is fucked up). My sister encountered this as a pre-teen in show choir. It was also spoofed on an episode of SNL hosted by Christopher Walken.

Predators-7/09
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Predators is another one of these movies that is a sequel/remake/reimagining thing. I’m sure you know by now that Predators are some freaky ass aliens. I’ve seen some of the Predator movies and I’m not a big fan. They’re okay but I’m not going out of my way to see them. I really don’t get the commercials/trailers for this that try to avoid showing the Predator. It’s not like a whole new character we’ve never seen. C’mon on. The film stars Adrien Brody (yum), Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo and Topher Grace (who I haven’t seen in any ads?). It was directed by Nimrod Antal who also did Armored and Vacancy (ugh).

The Kids Are All Right-7/09

The plot is that the daughter of a lesbian couple wants to find her dad (I mean sperm donor). This looks like the type needlessly dramatic movie I usually avoid except Annette Bening is playing one of the moms. I just think she is a fantastic actress. So I will eventually rent it. Julianne Moore is the other mom. Of course she’s a good actress but I feel like so many of her flicks are hit or miss. Mark Ruffalo is the sperm donor. I used to ogle him but this is not an oglable (invented word) role. The daughter is Mia Wasikowska who recently played Alice in Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice-7/16
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This is a Disney flick that should appeal to the 13 year old boys out there. Nic Cage plays a sorcerer who takes Jay Baruchel under his wing as his apprentice and they fight a bunch of CGI generated dangers. This is obviously a part of some contract Cage has with Disney that probably includes The National Treasure movies. You know, he needs the money. It looks okay but major things about this movie bother me. In any other movie like this the main “boy” would be in his teens. Baruchel is 28. If I were casting it I would have picked someone who was 16 or 17. Then you have Alfred Molina playing a villain. Molina doesn’t scare me at all. I didn’t understand when they put him in Spider-Man 2 and I don’t get it here either. When he comes out in his elaborate costumes trying to strike fear into one’s heart I feel like he should be stepping onto a stage to lip synch a song. Yes, he looks like a big drag queen. I like drag queens but they don’t scare me. As usual, Nic Cage is somehow hot despite his strange hair.

Inception-7/16
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This is the 2nd really cool looking mind bending flick from Leonardo DiCaprio this year. The film is about people who go into your dreams and steal your secrets. It looks deliciously trippy. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Kem Watanbe, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine and Lukas Hass are also in the cast. Even the promo they are doing for the flick is killer. Go here to watch the trailer.

Salt-7/23
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Salt is about a CIA officer (Angelina Jolie) who may or may not be a Russian spy. Do we even care anymore? I would have been all over something like this in 2000 but can you really even look at Jolie anymore without thinking about her crazy approach to mothering? I prefer the sexual cutter.

Life During Wartime-7/23
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBKzHhtCTMM[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKd7V7et0Xc[/youtube]
Plot from IMDB: “Friends, family, and lovers struggle to find love, forgiveness, and meaning in a war-torn world riddled with comedy and pathos.” I am a fan of Todd Solondz’s films. I’m not really sure what this movie is about but I’m sure I will rent it and figure that out in the future. The cast includes Allison Janney, Paul Reubens, Ally Sheedy, Gaby Hoffman and Chris Marquette.


Dinner for Schmucks
-7/30
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This is the July released that I am super-psyched about. It’s a comedy about a succesful group who meet to have dinner parties and see who can invite the biggest idiot like the non-sexual version of a dogfight. The cast includes Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Zach Galifianakis, Ron Livingston and Bruce Greenwood. This is a remake of the 1998 French film The Dinner Game which I have seen a few times since my sister owns it. The Dinner Game was very funny and starred Thierry Lhermitte, whose name I wouldn’t recognize but whose face I always do. Dinner for Schmucks looks fantastic. They’ve been playing the trailer here for months but I still laugh everytime. I was a little worried that they put everything good in the trailer but I saw a commercial earlier with some other funny bits so I’m hoping it’s gonna be as awesome as I expect. It was directed by Jay Roach who did the Meet The Parents movies (ew) and The Austin Powers movies (cool). Go here to watch the trailer.

The Extra Man-7/30 (Limited)

Kevin Kline is an old, misogynistic, gigolo who speaks like an Oscar Wilde character. Paul Dano (The Girl Next Door) is the young guy who is finding himself and is fascinated with Kline. John C. Reilly and Katie Holmes co-star. I’ll be renting this when it trickles down to Blu-Ray since it’s only opening in NY & LA.

Get Low-7/30 (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y17Me8uL6mA
Robert Duvall is a hermit who wants to throw a funeral party. It’s a funeral that you have while you are alive. It looks pretty interesting. The cast includes Billy Murray, Sissy Spacek, Gerald McRaney and Lucas Black.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore-7/30
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I would normally ignore this lame children’s sequel but I must mention how strange it is. First of all the title is an homage to the often parodied James Bond character Pussy Galore which would be weird enough. I’ve been seeing parts of the commercial though and it’s got some strange ass shit in it like a cat unzipping itself from a dog suit. Just look at the posters. I’m pretty sure if I was a little kid I would get “3D” nightmares from this. As if I wasn’t already afraid of the future from listening to the woes of the youth of America every night. If this is what little tiny kids want to watch I’m pretty sure we’re all fucked.

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