Archive for the ‘Movies/TV’ Category

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Imaginative Impulse by Garland Cannon

Imaginative Impulse by Garland Cannon

So recently, I’ve noticed an onslaught of extremely odd commercials. They aren’t the first of their kind. However, with so many coming at you, so often, it’s only natural to be perplexed, amused and a bit afraid.

Mountain Dew Kickstart: Puppymonkeybaby

Let’s just start right off with the scariest. Combining three adorable things, into one horrifying thing. I’m so not into Kickstart, but I’m so into this ad, and Amp, why is Amp so difficult to find anyway?

Subaru Dog Tested Windshield Wiper

So, they’ve been doing these dog commercials for a while, but this one is new and totally has a surprise ending.

KFC Nashville Spicy Hot Chicken Ad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivlox0cJOzE
Not, that long ago, Kentucky Fried Chicken decided to just randomly start putting ex-SNL alumni in their commercials. They randomly switched off from Darrell Hammond to Norm Macdonald as Colonel Sanders, like no one would notice. Or they intended for everyone to notice. Either way, this new commercial spun me for a loop and is killing it’s predecessors. Yes, that’s comedian Jim Gaffigan having a nightmare that he’s not the “real Colonel Sanders”. WTF? Yes, Yes, I say.

Honda Ridgeline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTaCT8ZmdJA
Why are these sheep trying to sell me a car while singing Queen’s Somebody to Love? Then the dog talks at the end, almost out of nowhere. Who put acid in my tea?

Kia Optima Walken Closet
“It’s like the world’s most exciting pair of socks.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r0FrXXKeiA
This is odd, intimidating and hot. Yeah, I’d do Christopher Walken, what of it? This actually makes me want to buy colorful socks, not a car though.

LG Man From the Future OLED TV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzLfPx-8OuM
I just love that Liam Neeson knows what he is doing in all of these spoofs of himself. Also, at least this one is for a nice tv, instead of a car.

The Portrait
“Okay, let’s do this. I’ve got minds to twist and values to warp.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ivbtgqJkg
So, it’s Steven Tyler and incredible candy art, singing Dream On. It’s definitely not the funniest one, but still disturbing. Plus, Steven Tyler, I mean, yeah.

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The photo at the very top is by garlandcannon

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This review was edited by yours truly, but written by Robert Sunshine.~missemmamm

4.5 out of 5

demolition man poster

Hello, beloved viewers, and welcome to another article from the least famous man you have ever met. Giving you my opinion about things you don’t care about, whether you like it or not. Today we are talking about the beautiful world of “Demolition Man”, played by that one actor, Sylvester Stallone. He’s a man who can scream throughout most of his acting career, and become one of the most well renown actors.

I can't believe that I've never seen, let alone, played this.-missemmamm

I can’t believe that I’ve never seen, let alone, played this.-missemmamm

The movie starts out at the end of an unassumingly endless confrontation between the Demolition Man and Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes). This results in the deaths of several innocent lives. By the way, if your nickname is the Demolition Man you need to assume at least two things: 1. if you are in the police force and your constant actions give you that nickname….maybe you should be at a desk filing paperwork so you don’t cause the death of anybody, 2. the most obvious reason, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THE FIELD DUE TO YOUR CONSTANT RECKLESSNESS.

Having said that, do not get me wrong. I understand the pull to the audience. It was during a time when explosions and rippling muscles were what made classic cinematic masterpieces. Even today, it still does make for some potential classics, but I digress.

demolition man virtual sex

Due to the said death of several innocents, John Spartan receives a frozen sentence of many years. Though, he does end up getting his sentence cut short. This happens, when Phoenix blows up everything and kills everyone. Blows up and kills everyone…or like maybe, three people. This is a peaceful future where the biggest string of crime is graffiti.

90s taco bell logo

Anyway, stuff happens where they show weird future stuff, like the three shells and Taco Bell being the only fast food chain left, resulting in it becoming high class cuisine. After conflicts and a scene of sex but, no sex, Spartan freezes and crushes Phoenix (aka Mr Murder Death Kill). This shows off to the other cops what he can do and he also exchanges bodily fluids with the token female cop. Shows the cops what to do and exchanges bodily fluids with token female cop (Sandra Bullock as Lenina Huxley).

There are some interesting things that I noticed, which they never really touched upon. For instance, is wife and his daughter, or rather just his daughter. You see, they do mention that his wife was killed or murdered or just in general, is not around anymore. But, they hardly touch upon his daughter or even let him know that she is alive. Maybe there is something that I missed, but I don’t know. I’ve only watched the movie once, and so maybe I’m going to catch something next time that I didn’t during my initial viewing, but, until then, I’m only going to assume that them not mentioning what happened to his daughter is either a cop out, or just general laziness.

NOW, here is why I love this movie. I am a man. I love explosions, unnecessary murder and guns. I can’t help it. It’s in my blood. It’s what i breath. It’s how I live. Boom, Boom, pow, and all of that other junk.

This movie really was fun. I’m 23. I feel kind of embarrassed when I say that I haven’t seen this movie before. According to missemmamm, the amount of incredible movies that I’ve never seen is shocking. I promise that I will see them, one at a time. But, I do feel like it gives me a unique perspective. The perspective of someone in my generation, who hasn’t seen a movie quite like the ones from ten, twenty, or thirty years ago. So, I want to type about these little treasures from a fresher look, from a later generation.

All in all, from the ramblings of a mad, intoxicated, 23 year old, I think I am going to give this movie, a 4.5 out of 5. The only reason, being that I do not know what the three sea shells are for….but i am still not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

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missemmamm tiara

So, back in the last 90s, when I was in high school, I already had a few blogs. On one of them, I decided to run my own movie awards. I chose the categories and nominees based on what myself and my friends enjoyed. The entire idea was something that Hot Donna and I came up with. We chose the nominees. Then we polled students at both of our schools. Plus we took votes online. Back in my day, that meant folks emailing in their answers or responding to my e newsletter. You can see the original awards here. (I just reposted them on this site, because why not?) P.S. I know, I know, Leo still hasn’t won. Did I jinx him? Doh!

Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby

The idea of these awards is that the Academy Awards are held in such high esteem, but are often films that most average people do not have the means to see, even today, even with streaming, etc. Well, you can pirate them, I guess, but that’s technically illegal, so I am not advocating it. Plus, they are so, so, so serious. Why not give out awards for films that run the gamut of genre and emotion, not just crying, so much crying. Want to know more? Watch the next 3 videos. You can also learn about what films were released in 2015, in case, like us (myself and Robert Sunshine), you’ve been super busy.

What’s so great now? You can vote, and it’s much easier. I’ll use it all, a poll on this blog, email, Facebook, twitter, Instagram, tumblr, etc

We are still hammering out the details, but categories will include the following:

Best Movie

Best Actress

Best Actor

Best Supporting Actress

Best Director

Best Writing (all)

Best Documentary

Best Animated Movie (maybe, still deciding)

Most Visually Appealing Movie

Best Apparel

Best Makeup and Hair Dos

Best Music (all)

Best Set Design

Best Visual Effects

Best Song

The exact rules on entering and dates will be announced in the upcoming poll blog. In the meantime, try to catch up on those 2015 flicks, if you can.

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This post was written by correspondent Robert Sunshine and edited by me.~missemmamm

 
Warning: Spoilers Abound (for the first film, as well)

ht2 fam

Hello, children. Today, I have a special little story for you. Recently, missemmamm, my lovely temptress, and I decided to go see a movie. What movie did we go see, you ask? Well, keep reading and I might tell you. Man, you guys can be impatient sometimes, you know?

Anyway, we went to go see Hotel Transylvania 2. It’s that movie with Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, whose names sound extremely close to each other. The fact that they both were musical talent on SNL also seems a little more of a coincidence. But, oh well, back on to my ravings of a mad man.

The story of the first Hotel Transylvania took place in the year whatever the fuck. Dracula builds a castle for the protection of all monsters, including his newborn baby girl, to save them from the horrors of the human race. As years pass, his child wishes to leave the castle and explore the world. Fearing for her safety, Adam Draculer builds a fake city using zombies as townsfolk to scare her from leaving. It works. Yada, Yada, Yada.

Andy Sandberg shows up and is like “dude”. The daughter, having never met another man her age, falls in love instantly. Now, the reason I’m talking about the story of the first movie isn’t really to give you a lot of backstory. It’s to show that this movie is already giving a bit of a racial undertone. Dracula is afraid of Andy Johnnystein because he is a human and humans are not to be trusted. Now, we don’t really see any hints of racism show up until his daughter starts to express her feelings. Dracula says that it’s unheard of, disgusting, and fearful. In the end, they fall in love. Dracula accepts Andy into his vampire heart and accepts his daughter is going to love him, regardless of his opinion.

Now, let’s turn to the second movie. I just want to point out that I know everything in this movie was in all good fun. I’m not trying to derail you from watching this movie, because I personally loved it. The message they were getting across isn’t the blatant racism, but how they react to it. It’s how in the end, it didn’t matter the race of species. Whether monster or human, mattered, but how they were able to accept each other, rather than just tolerate them. The story of the movie itself is incredible. The general racism in the movie is only there to show that in the end, none of it mattered. Then again, as I said, earlier, these are probably just the ramblings of a mad man who pays too much attention to these movies. Okay, now that that’s out of the way…

hotel transylvania 2 wedding

hotel transylvania 2 son

Now, fast forward a few years. The young couple are married. They have a half-breed baby, half vampire and half human. Now, I wont go into too much detail about this movie, except for a couple key parts. Mavis wants to move to Andy’s hometown. Dracula wants them to stay for two reasons: he wants to protect the baby from the outside world and he wants to try to get the child’s baby fangs to grow. Everyone believes the boy is human, but Dracula is determined to prove otherwise.

Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally in Hotel Transylvania 2

Okay, so there’s the general plot. Now, Andy’s parents are your typical suburban couple, who are now in the movie series to show their tolerance of monsters. Thinking they are abnormal and that their grandson shouldn’t be in that kind of environment, because they think that he is a human as well. Now to try to convince them to stay, they brought two “mixed couples” to show how “progressive there community is”. One of the couples was supposed to be a werewolf and a woman. The man who they thought was a werewolf just had a big beard. So, it was generally just typical monster profiling. There’s another scene, in which Dracula’s father made it very clear how disgusting he thought it was that humans and monsters were mingling together. There is actually a straight shot of his face saying that it’s wrong. That’s when it went from subtle to in your face.

ht2 granddad

Finally, at the end of the movie, the grandfather’s henchman, realizing that the baby was a half-breed, screamed his own personal disgust. After threatening his friend, the boys vampire blood awoke to kick some serious racist ass. Following, was an incredible fight scene of bats versus humans and monsters working together. The whole movie moving to a head, into a full blown race war, goddamn. Now, in the end of the movie, they won, kicking ass. Good triumphs over evil.

Like I said, I really, really liked this movie, including the art style and the story. Usually, whenever it comes to sequels, I’m very touch and go. However, this one really was an enjoyable ride. As I said earlier, I’m not discouraging anyone to see this movie. Racial undertones were definitely in it, but only to show a positive message that it is not okay to treat somebody differently. Whether they are human, monster, or unicorn.

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Photos are from the official Hotel Transylvania Facebook

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2 out of 5

project almanac cast

When I first started seeing trailers for Project Almanac, I was definitely curious. This time travel flick about selfish high schoolers looked pretty darn good. The trailer sucked you in with a group of friends using time travel for their own gain. Then it turns kind of creepy, when you see that time travel can, oops, screw things up.

Unfortunately, the movie definitely didn’t live up to the trailer for me. I thought maybe it was one of those instances with two many writers and/or directors, nope. One director and two writers. I’m currently exhausted and didn’t even feel like writing this review. I thought, I’ll find a review by someone with similar views and share that. I CAN’T FIND ONE! What? So, basically, others have issues with the science behind the film, but embraced what disappointed me. My views are a bit different.

Yes, there are definitely times that I thought, no, just no, that doesn’t make any science. Keep in mind, that I’m not scientifically minded. I’m pretty likely to not know if someone is using the correct piece when they are building something. I also don’t mind shutting off my mind to enjoy something fun, to an extent.

project almanac time machine

However, unlike others, I don’t believe that you need to see this JUST because it’s a time travel movie. As if, a dearth of movies means that poor ones should just exist to fill the void.

Have you seen the trailer? No?

Okay, now you have. You don’t even need to watch the movie. That is everything that you need to know and it doesn’t have to work, because it’s a trailer. You are supposed to want more.

What happens? Okay, a guy, his sister (a pretty, thin blonde who’s being bullied, *rolls eyes*), and his likeable friends build a time travel machine based on his late father’s plans. Later, a “hot”, popular girl joins their group and decides that she’s an integral part of it. IMHO, she is not.

At first, everything seems fine, the kids get money, popularity and sex. I’m not gonna lie, some of those scenes are amusing. They even get to see Imagine Dragons live. That’s super fun.



(from the same show this movie would have been filmed at)

Then the lead decides to start jumping around through time solo and disasters happen. If I were one of the kids, I would have rationalized the hell out of being at fault for huge disasters though, as one does. This is when the illogical time travel starts really bothering me. Now, it’s not just for fun. He has to fix things, but with the way that things have been going, I can’t buy what follows. Plus, even if I tried, it’s like he intentionally mucks things up.

I did enjoy his friends, but they didn’t get enough screen time. His love interest is annoying and the sister wasn’t onscreen long enough for me to form an opinion.

Yes, I’m impressed that this movie was filmed for around $3 million and earned about 10 times that much, but going into it, I didn’t know that. As a casual viewer that shouldn’t concern me. (Although, I’m sure producer Michael Bay is thrilled.) Another plus is that the film wasn’t overly long. Some found the fact that it’s set up as a found footage film to be a detractor. It slightly enhanced it for me, making the creepy scenes a bit creepier. Maybe, my biggest issue is that the lead becomes unlikable, but not annoying enough to completely hate. I like to have some strong feeling one way or another, when I’m watching someone’s story. I’m really only giving it 2 out of 5 stars for the initial premise and fun section of them just goofing around for personal gain.

SKIP IT

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