posted by on Excursions

No comments

So I went to the dog track again last week (Wheeling Island) This wouldn’t usually be notable because I’ve been there at least a dozen times. Even if I don’t win I usually have fun. I’m not much for slots, I usually stick to the dog track. So between watching the dogs race, eating tasty food that’s bad for you, being carded all day (I look 17?) & being hit on by really old drunk gamblers, the thrill is pretty gone. I mean it’s fun but nothing new. But this day I was super amazed, despite getting sick on the way there. FYI: I do not recommend vomiting in a bathroom on a moving bus. They had this in the bathroom (at the track, not on the bus, xd).

dyson

While I consider myself fairly intelligent some things easily amuse me. This is definitely one of them. It’s like it’s from the future and hygienic too! I’m not the only one who is amazed. A quick YouTube search turns up tons of videos on this but I still had to use my own. I’m still surprised that they had something like this as the place is sort of run down. Apparently they cost over a grand.

Share

posted by on Life Imitates Art

1 comment

TWO AND A HALF MEN dance

While watching Two and a Half Men tonight I began ruminating on when I first got into the show. When it first premiered I wasn’t interested in watching the two leads who I had found so attractive in their younger days as these seemingly sad pathetic middle aged men. However I caught a few episodes after my sister & I started living together & became hooked. Was it just the crude humor & frequent half nude Jon Cryer sight gags? I now realize that it went deeper than enjoying a show about someone who drank more than I did at the time. It’s the relationship of the 2 brothers. Unfortunately I can now see many parallels between the show & my own relationship with my little sister. Of course the big thing was that I tried to find a job for a ridiculously long time before anyone would actually hire me during which time I was living there for free. Yes, I was made to feel bad about this then from time to time ala the show just like Alan. It still pops now & then now but I think I’m almost over it. The main difference being that Sheen plays the older, more impressive brother, while my sister is younger but the successful one. The first example isn’t really that impressive, you can skip it if you like. I seem to have run out of steam quicker than I thought. Oh well, still kind of interesting to me.

Charlie/Donna

Occupation: 
Successful Jingle Writer-can make a lot of money in a short amount of time./Successful Hairstylist-can make a lot of money (relative to this situation) in a short amount of time.-both artistic jobs

Looks: Undeniably hot/Undeniably hot Love Life: Charlie could have a new woman every night without even trying./I was not the only one who noticed that she seemed to have the kevorka (ala Seinfeld). She could attract almost any man in a 50 miles radius. Once a group of us went to a gay bar for fun (there were 2 or 3 young, attractive gay men in our party) & she was the only one who went home with a guy’s number. Social Skills: Smooth/Smooth
Alan/Mary

Occupation:
Mediocre Chiropractor-would actually be a good job in real life. Doesn’t get the money because it goes to his wife./Series of Joe Jobs when not Unemployed-Minimum wage that wouldn’t have been that be if they had given me sufficient hours.

Looks: Handsome but not who the eye goes to when standing next to his brother. I mean c’mon this was Ducky, you wanted him too. I wouldn’t kick Jon Cryer out of bed. However you put him next to Charlie Sheen & yeah you might knock him out of the way to get to Sheen./I’m not trying to sound conceited but I’m been told many a time that I’m attractive. However next to my sexier, younger, stacked sister I might as well be wearing a garbage bag.

Love Life: Not a great track record with women & his exes often hate him. Sometimes Charlie would throw him an extra woman if he didn’t want her or already had one./Awful track record with men & all exes hate me. I have been the recipient of a gift in male form.

Social Skills: Socially inept, always says the wrong thing./Socially inept, always says the wrong thing.
Share

posted by on Life, Lists, Music

3 comments

Photobucket

Just for fun, this is a list of songs that I can recall singing at karaoke over the years. There may be be more that I have temporarily lost in the recesses of my mind. Some I sang alone, some with friends and occasionally with a stranger.

Adele-Rumor Has It (with Hot Donna)
Beyonce & Shakira-Beautiful Liar (with my sister)
Christina Aguilera-Ain’t No Other Man (at least twice)
Christina Aguilera-Candyman
Christina Aguilera-Dirty (at least twice)
Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil Kim & Mya-Lady Marmalade (cover)
Christina Aguilera-Not Myself Tonight
Big & Rich-Save A Horse (at least 3X, including a couple of times with my sister)
Meredith Brooks-Bitch
Johnny Cash-Hurt (cover)
Johnny Cash-Folsom Prison Blues (backup)
Johnny Cash-One Piece at a Time
Cee-Lo-Fuck You
Imani Coppola-Legend of a Cowgirl
Sheryl Crow-All I Wanna Do
Sheryl Crow-A Change Would Do You Good
Sheryl Crow-If It Makes You Happy
Sheryl Crow-My Favorite Mistake
David Bowie-Life on Mars
Evanescence-Call Me When You’re Sober
Evanescence-Lithium
Fergie-Fergalicious (with Hot Donna)
Fleetwood Mac-Edge of Seventeen (at least 2X)
Peter Gabriel-Sledge Hammer
Guns N Roses-Paradise City
Harvey Danger-Flagpole Sitta (at least 2X)
Hole-Gold Dust Woman (cover)
Natalie Imbruglia-Torn
Jay Z-99 Problems
Joan Jett-I Love Rock N Roll
KISS-Calling Dr. Love
Lady Gaga-Bad Romance
Lil Kim-How Many Licks (at least 2X)
Lindsay Lohan-I Live For The Day
Madonna-Don’t Tell Me
Madonna-Like A Virgin
Maroon 5-Harder to Breathe (at least 5X)
Maroon 5-Makes Me Wonder
Maroon 5-This Love
Alanis Morissette-All I Really Want
No Doubt-Bathwater
No Doubt-Just A Girl
The Offspring-Hit That (with a line at the end saying “And that’s why I don’t have kids!”, cuz I’m sick of the jackholes in this town asking me that like it’s a character flaw)
The Offspring-Self Esteem
Papa Roach-Forever
The Pointer Sisters-We Are Family (as backup)
George Michael-Faith (more than once)
Rihanna-Unfaithful
The Rolling Stones-(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
Bob Seger-Old Time Rock and Roll
Britney Spears-Slave 4 U
Supertramp-The Logical Song (at least 2X)
Tenacious D-Fuck Her Gently

Last Updated: April 2014

Share

posted by on Movies/TV

1 comment

This is a repost of my own, original work from 1998. Feel free to skip ahead to the-future, present or past, depending on when you read this, here to my associated post, so that’s it more relevant. But, I’m reposting it here, for reference.

The 1st Annual MMM Awards
In the words of Sickboy (Jonny Lee Miller) (Trainspotting 1996) (The Academy Awards means) “f*** all” So vote for your favorite movie, actor, etc. & have your say. The following movies were released in 1997 & the tv awards are pertaining to this tv season. By the way my name is Mary Marie Miracle, hence the title “MMM Awards”.

And The WINNERS are !
Don’t Forget To Come Back & Vote Again Next Year!

1. ACTOR
WINNER***Ewan McGregor-A Life Less Ordinary***WINNER 35%
Val Kilmer-The Saint 26%
Mike Myers-Austin Powers:International Man of Mystery 21%
Kevin Kline-Fierce Creatures/In & Out 12%
Jay Mohr-Picture Perfect 6%

2. ACTRESS
A TIE!
WINNERS***Alicia Silverstone-Excess Baggage 26%
Cameron Diaz-A Life Less Ordinary***WINNERS 26%
Julia Roberts-My Best Friend’s Wedding 24%
Elisabeth Shue-The Saint 18%
Jennifer Aniston-Picture Perfect 6%

3. SUPPORTING ACTOR
WINNER*** Jamie Kennedy-Scream 2***WINNER 44%
Ben Affleck-Good Will Hunting 23%
Ruperett Everett-My Best Friend’s Wedding 12%
Alan Cumming-Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion
/Spiceworld 12%
Steve Buscemi-Con Air 9%

4. SONG
WINNER***Along Comes Mary-Bloodhound Gang***WINNER 32%
Deadweight-Beck 29%
Wishful Thinking-Duncan Sheik 18%
Life In Mono-Mono 12%
In The Absence of the Sun-Duncan Sheik 9%

5. TV ACTOR
WINNER***Peter MacNicol-(John,The Biscuit) Ally McBeal***WINNER 29%
Scott Bairstow-Significant Others 23%
Joshua Jackson-Dawson’s Creek 23%
James Van Der Beek-Dawson’s Creek 16%
Gil Bellows-(Billy) Ally McBeal 9%

6. TV ACTRESS
A TIE!
WINNERS***Katie Holmes-(Joey) Dawson’s Creek 32%
Lisa Kudrow-(Phoebe) Friends***WINNERS 32%
Calista Flockhart-Ally McBeal 24%
Lisa Nicole Carson-(Renee) Ally McBeal 6%
Michelle Williams-(Jen) Dawson’s Creek 6%

7. TV SHOW
WINNER***The Simpsons***WINNER 41%
Dawson’s Creek 36%
Ally McBeal 16%
Significant Others 7%
Veronica’s Closet 0%

8. BEST PICTURE
WINNER***My Best Friend’s Wedding***WINNER 31%
A Life Less Ordinary 30%
The Saint 22%
In & Out 13%
Picture Perfect 4%

* YOUR SAY:
Other than the movies listed under Best Picture, what is your fav movie movie of 1997 ?
*If it has an * next to it more than one person voted for it.

An American Werewolf in Paris
As Good As It Gets
Austin Powers:International Man of Mystery*
Con Air
Contact*
Event Horizon
Excess Baggage*
Face/Off
Good Will Hunting
I Know What You Did Last Summer*
Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion
Titanic*

NEGLECTED AWARDS
These awards are based on my own opinions
The Full Monty-Best Picture
Why didn’t I nominate it to begin with ? I hadn’t seen it yet because I unfortunately don’t live in a social mecca. Now I wish I had, so here’s there mention.
David Spade-Best TV Actor
Now what’s my excuse ? I watched this show when it first came out, but this year I could never figure out when it was on. It’s a good thing that they added it to Must See TV Thursday

TO VOTE: simply e-mail me at dlm@hhs.net with each number & the letter you choose. (ex.4 for song & c if you choose Deadweight) There is no need for you to include the category name or title/name you choose. Numbers are sufficient. Also submit your favorite movie if you choose. All will be included on this page when I list the winners. So if you wish to know the winners bookmark this page & return April 19th or later.

RULES:
1. Do not submit multiple entries.
2. For the Your Say section you can submit any movie from 1997 that you want except for a movie that is nominated for Best Picture.
3. Titanic-Why didn’t I nominate it or anyone in it ? I’m sick of the hype about it. Don’t say that I probably didn’t even see it, I saw it twice. Yes, I think that Leonardo DiCaprio is a talented, handsome actor, but was he robbed of an oscar ? No. Personally I’ve always enjoyed his movies, but if it takes Titanic for him to win you as a fan you’re no fan of his.
4. Contest ends April 17th & results will be posted April 19th.

Copyright 1998 Mary Miracle

originally found here.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share