Holidays are the Worst

Patty Duke in Valley of the Dolls
Patty Duke in Valley of the Dolls

If possible, on almost any given holiday, I would like to be tranquilized, Valley of the Dolls/Marilyn Monroe style. Shoot something into me that knocks me out until the day is over. If it’s a holiday in which the festivities last for DAYS, I’d prefer whatever shot does that. Or whatever they took in Romeo & Juliet, I guess.

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