Posts Tagged ‘Aziz Ansari’

posted by on Editorial, Life, Various

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When it comes to plans and how you treat people, do you think that all of this comes down to a generalized  fear of missing out (particularly the social media saturated world that we are living in) or is it just general disregard?

Another heavy issue?

Now, I was born in the 80s and raised in the 90s. I’m a true 80s baby/90s child/teen. Unlike those born in the 90s who glom on to all of our pop culture. We were there. We lived it. And we lived without…just some general things. As a certain type of family, we didn’t even have a home phone when I was a very young child (at least 5 and under). I know others did. That’s not what I’m speaking of. I’m speaking of how children now seem to come out of the womb with an ipad attached to their hands, knowing more about apps than I’ll ever know about appetizers.

Any who, the way that the younger generation, and even those closer to my age currently make plans seems a bit bs to me lately. I mean, growing up, things weren’t set in stone. Yes, I’m on the autism spectrum, yes this influences the fact that I have a thing for plans, but I can bend, a bit. However, when we were younger it was definitely a “thing” to make plans. You got on a landline or a payphone and hoped the other person was home or that their parents or younger brother (yeah, right!) would take down a message letting them know that you called and wanted to hangout.

fry futurama fomo

Now a days, it’s more like a series of messages sent through some type of satellite, via either text or social networking that is basically gouging if you are fun/cool/better than the other person’s established plans or maybe if they can fit you into those plans. I get spontaneity. I don’t expect people to drop everything for me. However, if you’ve contacted everyone you are thinking of hanging with and get a no or a maybe and then start hanging with me, well, that seems like a sign that I’m now your friend that you are hanging with. Maybe I’m wrong, who knows.

I must say that I love Asis Ansari’s bit on this though. So, lately, I try to make plans further in advance, if I actually want them to stick. If they are random, I expect nothing. But if someone is being random, don’t abandon those who picked up the slack. I’m fine with being alone, but not after you drag me into your drama. That’s all I’m saying.

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How Not to Shop in April or Avoiding Eugenics Funding
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posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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Observe and Report is a dark comedy about a security guard at a mall who decides that he wants to become a police officer when he sees the opportunity to prove himself. This occurs when a flasher targets his mall. The film stars Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta and Anna Faris.

You can click the screencaps to see the larger versions.

Female Reporter: “I’m standing here at Forest Ridge Mall where earlier today a man exposed himself to several women before fleeing the scene. I’m here with Ronnie Barnhardt, one of the security guards here at the mall…”
Ronnie: “No, cut. Uh, you fucked up, ma’am, I’m the head of mall security you should do that again and say it right”
Female Reporter: “Uh, well Officer Barnhardt”
Ronnie: “Action”
Female Reporter: “Right, uh, is there any information you can shed on this situation?”
Ronnie: “You’re just gonna keep goin’ even though you fucked up my title?”
Female Reporter: (nods)
Ronnie: “Okay, well I’m standing here with this doctor”

Ronnie: “Everyone thinks they’re fine until someone puts something in them they don’t want in them”

Ronnie: “…it’s actually kinda my job to put myself in harm’s way to protect weaker people such as yourself who are you know cripped in the leg and what not…”

Ronnie: “…it’s clear that this pervert is some kind of sociopathic genius who plans on coming back here and finishing what he started, by murdering Brandi”
Brandi: “Oh my god, is that gonna happen? Is that true?”
Ronnie: “It’s gonna happen”
Detective Harrison: “No, it’s not gonna happen”
Ronnie: “He’s gonna murder you Brandi”

Ronnie: “Race has nothing to do with this, you fit the profile…”
Saddamn: “My dick is brown you dumb motherfucker”

Saddamn: “…last week he comes here and tells me he knows that he’s discovered my plot to blow up the Chick-fil-A. Why the fuck would I blow up Chick-fil-A? It’s fucking delicious”

Nell: “…but I think you should know that there’s no shame in going after what your dreams, so few people do it and I think you should keep doing it, no matter how many people laugh at you”
Ronnie: “Who’s laughing at me? No one laughs at me, if anything I laugh at other idiots who are tryin’ do what they want, no one laughs at me for trying to do my destiny, not how this works…”

Police Officer: “…he’s probably gonna get killed”
Detective Harrison: “Good, I hope he does get killed, fuck him, I don’t care, I’m telling you, I hate this guy”

Mom: “You know I remember when your father picked me up for our first date. I swear he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on, I knew right then and there that I would fuck him that night and that I would end up marrying him.”
Ronnie: “I sure hope that happens to me tonight.”

Ronnie: “Do you think it was my fault that dad left?”
Mom: “Definitely”

Ronnie: “Wow, that was impressive, you, I like to drink fast too so”

Ronnie: “So Brandi, I’m just dying to know, how much do you love working at this mall?”
Brandi: “Oh god, I hate that shit…”

Brandi: “Oh my god, where did you get these?” (looking at pill bottle) “Clonazepam, that’s some good shit, I’m impressed. I did not think you partied like that”
Ronnie: “God do I ever party, I party like this every 4 to 6 hours”

Brandi: (doing a shot of tequila) “Oh my god, it burns so good”

(in bed during sex she seems to be sleeping so he stops)
Brandi: “Why are you stopping motherfucker?”
Ronnie: “I’m sorry, oh god I’m sorry”

Mom: (to Dennis) “You know when Ronnie was, um, in high school I used to fuck all his friends”

Ronnie: “…unfortunately, no this picture of a penis does not cheer me up”

Dennis: “Ronnie, please can you take the dick off your face?”

Ronnie: “…finding out whose penis that is is my last shot at redemption”

Mom: “…try to look on the bright side, you may not be the smartest person in the world but you’re handsome from certain angles…”

Mom: “I just want you to know I’m ready to make a change”
Ronnie: “You’re gonna stop drinking?”
Mom: “I’m switching to beer, I can pound those all day and still keep my shit together and I’m doing it for you”
Ronnie: “I’m so proud of you mom”

Ronnie: “and if anyone here wants a girl to have sex with you and then fuck your enemy go to Brandi cuz she’s the girl that does that”

Ronnie: “I want everyone to know Ronnie Barnhardt caught the pervert, not the fuckin’ police”

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