Movie Review: The Words

*spoilers abound*

3 out of 5

“It’s about a man who wrote a book and lost it and the pissant kid who found it”

Now I must address the film The Words. Normally my need to review a movie comes from it being exceptional, either truly awful or completely amazing. The Words is unique as it’s squarely in the middle, as my above rating indicates. So why do I feel the need to write about it? Probably because it focuses on multiple writers, which is what I’ve considered myself since age four.

I’ve been wanting to see this since I saw the trailer during the theatrical release. However not enough to actually pay theater prices. Thanks Redbox! Bradley Cooper again plays a writer. What is with this by the way? I loved Limitless and he was also a journalist on Alias. I just ponder if he wanted to be a writer when he was younger or if it’s a depth thing. Ya know, ooh, I’m playing a writer, he must be deep! Well this is no Limitless (super re-watchable despite plausibility, motivation and attraction between the characters).

As I’d gathered from the trailer (and is stated above during the film) this movie centers on Cooper’s character plagiarizing someone’s else’s story. I know, I KNOW, WHAT THE FUCK?!?! I’m sure this is what all of us who write thought but I had to see it. Especially since the trailer features a strong willed Jeremy Irons yelling at him about “stealing my life”.

Unfortunately the film starts out with plenty of steam but peters out and leaves one quite dissatisfied. Cooper desperately wants to be a published author. The problem? He’s not talented or at least not enough. When he’s hitting his father up for money even he has to reiterate this for him. Maybe he’s not without potential but just not easy to sell as Ron Rifkin later indicates. BTW-Why waste Rifkin like this? (a favor because they were both in Alias?, I mean he’s in the movie for like 2 minutes max). Actually it seems like many actors are simply wasted in their roles.

At any rate, after submitting his novel and receiving many letters declining it Cooper eventually has to get a day job. A day job at a publishing house of course just so he knows the right people in case he ever becomes talented. Prior to this he meets and falls for Zoe Saldana’s character. Saldana is also woefully underused in this (as she seems to be in many films, I so can’t wait for her Nina Simone biopic, I bet it shall be epic!). They are (convincingly, well at least that works) in love and lust and even get married. She bypasses him in the career game though, as an outburst by him at a classy dinner indicates. No, I have no idea what her job is. Yes, as other critics have mentioned her character isn’t fleshed out.

During their honeymoon in Paris (which I can only assume she paid for) they stumble upon a nice looking briefcase in an antiques store. She buys it for him as a wedding gift. After he’s given up his dreams he decides to transfer his work papers from his current plastic Staples style binder to it and comes across an old typed story. Why does he have important work papers anyway, isn’t he likes a mailroom clerk? Oye.

He immediately reads the story that we only see incredibly quick clips of but it includes a soldier in the past. Then as the narrator indicates he feels compelled to type it out, as if the words were so great that he had to channel the greatness through his fingertips. I’m sorry, but that is completely stupid. I love to read and I have never typed out more than a few lines from a writer to share their genius with the world. If he didn’t already have sinister intentions then I’ll eat one of my many hats.

Of course Saldana comes across it on his computer and is so moved that she FUCKING CRIES! Really? REALLY?!? That’s a major overreaction but whatever. She swears that she’s never looked through his laptop before but she just happened to today (umm, yeah I totally believe her, right ladies?) and she’s overcome. He must take it to someone at the publishing house that he works at and sell it. He just must. At first he seems like he will spill all but he thinks better of it because she thinks he’s actually hot shit now. So he sells it.

Yes, he sells it. Plus it’s so good that a major dude at the company reads it one night. Ahem, sounds like bullshit. Then it becomes a bestseller, makes them rich and wins awards.

This is when the fantastically talented Jeremy Irons enters the picture (I must admit that I do miss him being all sexay in the ’90s though). Irons informs Cooper that it’s his story that was lost years and years ago. Though the trailer implies that Irons will go ape shit and try to make Cooper’s life hell he actually, mainly, just wants to share the full story with someone. It’s a melodramatic love story.

Before you think this movie is a story within a story, I have news for you! It’s story within a story within a story. Dennis Quaid, again super underused in this, is actually telling the story of Cooper’s character, which is his novel. Quaid plays a completely superficial hot author who just wants tail in this. Seriously, when you have decades on Bradley Cooper and you come off as vapid while he is actually able to show some pathos, well, what were the filmmakers thinking?

Quaid is hit on by an aspiring writer and college student with a crush, as played by Olivia Wilde. Since this is a movie we are supposed to believe that the attractive, though always somewhat alien looking Wilde, is a fresh faced college student though in real life she’s actually 28. None of that matters though because we now have 3 or 4 stories going and none of them are all that interesting.

At first I thought that Quaid had stumbled upon the story of the young author and would at some point out him (as I’d hoped Irons would do, but didn’t). Instead it’s intimated that Quaid may be the Cooper character and that he’s fictionalized himself.

Whew! So what ultimately happens? Well not a whole hell of a lot but I’m not one to give away endings anyway. So should you watch it? If you are a huge fan of Cooper, then yes. If you are a big fan of any of the other actors then maybe you want to steer clear as they aren’t getting their due anyway.

BTW-The Words may or may not be a rip off of a Swedish book and story entitled Lila Lila, which is pretty insane considering the subject matter. Plus the original sounds more compelling.

Photos are from the Official The Words Facebook


You may also enjoy:
The Sexy Bradley Cooper
Movie Quotes: The Hangover Part 2-starring Cooper
Top 2011 Movies on Netflix Streaming-includes Cooper in Limitless
Top Gay Movies on Netflix Instant Streaming-includes Wet Hot American Summer featuring Cooper
Movie Rundown: March 2011-includes Limitless starring Cooper
Movie Rundown: May 2001-includes The Hangover 2 starring Cooper
June Movie Bugs-includes The A-Team starring Cooper

Best Movie Quotes from Death at a Funeral (2010) US-starring Zoe Saldana
Web Oodles: 4/03/10-includes a photo of & a link to a great interview with Saldana

Top Sexy Romances on Netflix Streaming-includes Damage starring Jeremy Irons (not currently available but I have included hot, dirty pics within this post!)

Top 2011 Movies on Netflix Streaming

This post is in the spirit of those year in review style posts. To be clear, these aren’t what I consider to be the best movies of 2011 out of every movie. Although a couple will also appear on that forthcoming list. These are just the best on Netflix. I know you need to watch something up to date every once in a while.

Technically some of these films are dated as being from 2010 but I’m going on when it was actually available to be seen by the majority of folks in the US. So I’ve included some that had a foreign, limited or festival release in 2010 but went wide on DVD in 2011.

Simply click the film’s title to be whisked away to it on Netflix.


Certified Copy (Copie conforme) (French) (Available Until 12/27/14)

"I'm afraid there's nothing very simple about being simple"

It’s certainly difficult to describe Certified Copy without giving away the movie. So let’s put it this way, a man and a woman who have a barbed attraction share a day together. Yes, it’s a talking movie. I loved it! The film stars Juliette Binoche and William Shimell.

A Little Help (Available Until 10/25/14)

After her husband’s passing a woman has to deal with raising her son and herself. This is a good little movie starring Jenna Fischer. Chris O’Donnell and Rob Benedict (Waiting) costar.

Passion Play (Available Until 07/20/13)

“Fuck normal”

Oh, Passion Play. I love the entire idea, casting, visual choices, et al of this film. Mickey Rourke stumbles into a traveling sideshow and meets a beautiful young woman (Megan Fox) who plays the part of an angel. Of course they fall for each other. Then there’s the fact that he’s tangled up with some other unsavory folks. The movie costars Bill Murray, Kelly Lynch and Rhys Ifans.

Limitless (Available Until 05/16/13)

Limitless is about a writer (Bradley Cooper) who ends up trying a drug that gives you hyper focus and confidence, or as I saw one commenter remark, something like a mix of Ritalin and Cocaine. Limitless was originally entitled Dark Fields and I get the feeling that it was supposed to be darker but it still works so well as this polished finished product. I’m still not sure of the character’s motivation but yeah, it was awesome!

Last Night (Available Until 01/01/13)

Last Night is about a married couple (Keira Knightley and Sam Worthington) who’ve been together for a while but are both tempted to cheat on the same night. Knightley’s character is definitely more fleshed out and relate-able. Ah, maybe that’s just to me, she’s a novelist who currently writes fashion pieces. Her possible fling is with a hot, foreign ex. Worthington mainly seems like a stock faithful husband who is confused and tempted. It’s by Eva Mendes though so it totally makes sense. In real life I believe cheating is basically the worst thing you can ever do but when it’s possibly going to be Worthington and Mendes getting it on, well, yes, I was egging them on. And Griffin Dunne plays a writer! I love when he does that.

A Beautiful Life (Mei Li Ren Sheng) (China/Hong Kong) (Available Until 12/13/12)

A booze and high heel loving real estate agent meets a police officer. She leads him on a bit while basically using him to do things for her. It’s one of those friend zone relationships. Do they get together? Ooh.


No Strings Attached (Available Until 06/22/13)

Well this is one of the two fuck buddies movies that were released in 2011 and it’s not the better of the two, that would be Friends with Benefits. However this is a decent, entertaining movie. Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher are two acquaintances who keep meeting. Eventually they hook up and then fall into a friends with benefits situation. I adore Portman playing a woman who is now trying to compartmentalize her life into just work (as a doctor) and sex after seemingly just working for a while. Kutcher works in TV. Kevin Kline and Cary Elwes costar. I feel like they were underused. Well Kline gets some scenes but is a bit cartoony. Elwes gets to say like two words. Ludacris, Lake Bell and Mindy Kaling costar.

Take Me Home Tonight (Available Until 05/16/13)

Topher Grace stars in this 80s themed comedy as a high school graduate (who was promising) but has been squandering his time since then. He runs into a crush (Amber Heard) and decides to lie his way into her good graces. The bulk of the film is set at a party involving a ton of great actors, Anna Faris (as his sister), Dan Fogler (as his sidekick), Chris Pratt (Faris’ IRL hubby as her onscreen fiance), Lucy Punch, Michael Ian Black and Michelle Trachtenberg. Funny flick. Check it out.

Potiche (Trophy Wife) (French) (Available Until 03/17/13)

Catherine Deneuve stars as the housewife of a jerk who runs a plant. She ends up taking it over. In doing so she meets up with a youthful dalliance (GĂ©rard Depardieu) who opposes everything that her husband stands for. And it’s set in the 70’s! The costumes are awesome.


Faces in the Crowd (Available Until 10/25/16)

Milla Jovovich witnesses a murder and then is attacked by the murderer. In the process she is injured resulting in Prosopagnosia, which is severe face blindness. She can’t recognize anyone. Not only does this interfere with her day to day life but now she has no way of identifying the criminal. Julian McMahon costars as a police detective who takes a shine to her.

Hobo with a Shotgun (Available Until 08/05/14)

Rutger Hauer stars as the title character, yes a hobo with a shotgun!, in this zany exploitation flick.

The Resident (Available Until 07/20/12)

Jeffrey Dean Morgan creepily stalks his tenant, solitary doctor Hilary Swank. Lee Pace and Christopher Lee costar.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (Available Until 12/29/14)
This was so frickin’ funny but it wasn’t really promoted at all. Tyler Labine (Reaper, Mad Love) and Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Dollhouse) are two likeable hillbillies who’ve saved up to buy a vacation cabin in the woods. They are all excited about chilling out when they meet some yuppie college kids who only see them as scary backwoods stereotypes. A ton of hilarious deaths ensue.

Red State (Available Until 10/18/14)

Three high school kids go in search of tail but end up in a really fucked up situation in this Kevin Smith film. Supposedly Kyle Gallner actually had a real panic attack during filming. The cast also includes John Goodman and Michael Angarano. The movie drags a little at one point but it picks back up.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (Available Until 05/03/14)

Dylan Dog wasn’t that great or anything but I still feel the need to include it because there’s some good stuff in it. Brandon Routh is a supernatural PI who’s bestie, Sam Huntington, dies and is shocked to find out that he’s now one of the undead. Huntington always cracks me up. Routh’s chest is mesmerizing. Some of the undead stuff is pretty inventive. The big bad is way too Spawny though.

Insidious (Available Until 05/09/13)

The creative team behind the first Saw film, James Wan and Leigh Whannell, wrote and directed this flick. It’s a vintage feeling ghost story. A family has to deal with a haunting. Rose Byrne (barf) and Patrick Wilson play the parents. Eventually they bring in a team of Ghost Hunters type investigators (including Lin Shaye and Leigh Whannell). The movie has a great ambiance. I didn’t see that first little twist near the ending coming either.

Please share your 2011 picks with us in the comments section.

You may also enjoy:
Movie Rundown: March 2011-includes my initial thoughts (in video form while wearing a ridiculous wig) on Take Me Home Tonight, Red State, Certified Copy, Limitless and Potiche.
Movie Rundown: May 2011-includes my initial thoughts on Last Night and Passion Play.
Top Sexy Romances-w/ Damage starring Juliette Binoche & Wild Orchid starring Mickey Rourke
The Sexy Kyle Gallner
The Sexy Milla Jovovich
The Sexy Bradley Cooper
Movie Rundown: February 2011-includes my initial thoughts on The Resident
Web Oodles 5/20/10-includes awesome photos of Megan Fox and Mickey Rourke

Super Links: 11/20/11

I’m a fan of the link round ups that a lot of bloggers do to share cool posts and other happenings so I’m giving it a shot today. I haven’t done this before. The closest I’ve come is posting the IFB round up when I’ve been it or last year’s infrequent series Web Oodles. That was more of a wrap up of entertainment info though with sporadic links thrown in though.

The Best Time I Didn’t Sit Next to Harrison Ford by Kelly Pippin.-This is great. It’s about a woman who had a huge crush on Harrison Ford in Jr High due to the rerelease of Star Wars (hey, me too!). Then she met him out of the blue one day. The comments are good too.

Pictures of the day: 1 November 2011-A photographer named Steve Jones took a photo of whale sharks and Indonesian fishermen working together in harmony. This is a really cool photo.

Hats Off!-A woman talks about her hat collection. Yay, hats!

15 Fun Things To Do When You’re Drunk-because you shouldn’t have to come up with your own ideas when you’re already drunk.

Madonna Unbound in W Magazine-I came across this photo shoot of Madonna from 2003 and I really dig it.

amazing pumpkin pie-A yummy vegan pie recipe for Thanksgiving that Alicia Silverstone recommends.

The Muppets Deluxe Overhead Latex Mask, Statler-Are you going to see the new Muppets movie? If so wear this and scare the hell out of the little kids in attendance (and many adults as well).

Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts-These look really good. Unfortunately they were sold out when I tried to buy some recently.

My Mad Men Bachelorette Party! -Elizabeth of Delightfully Tacky had a Mad Men themed bachelorette party!

Kemper Pedic Bed-I loved Jason Segel’s appearance on SNL last night. Here’s one sketch to wet your appetite for more. I was so happy that he was in a bunch of the sketches (hey not all hosts do that, I think that they get overwhelmed). The full episode is here.

Our lives, in photoboothsThe Bloggess posted her personal photobooth strips from the last 8 years. It’s a neat idea.

MAC for Miss Piggy Eyeshadow Swatches, Photos, Reviews-MAC put out a small Miss Piggy line because of the new Muppets movie but the reviews are not good.

How I Met Your Mother Happy Slapsgiving Men’s T-Shirt-Wear this tee on Thanksgiving, which is time when we all gather to give slaps.

Santa Hat Mustache Christmas Ornament-Your tree needs this.

Adam Scott on Conan-I’m not a fan of Conan’s current show but this was pretty good. I enjoyed how Scott talked about his early auditions.

Exclusive: Concept Art from Fresnadillo, Bradley Cooper’s The Crow-The new Crow movie with Bradley Cooper has dropped Cooper as well as others from the project. These are the drawings of what his character could have looked like. They’re pretty fugly for the most part.

Top Gay Movies on Netflix Instant Streaming

“…it’s okay you didn’t like Broken Hearts Club or Kiss Me Guido. Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community, gay movies suck, but until the law is changed we’re still obligated to go see ’em” – Will & Grace

I tend to disagree with W&G on that one but it’s gives me a chuckle.

I just discovered the fun classic film blog Garbo Laughs and their Queer Film Blogathon recently. It’s a great idea and open to all film bloggers. According to the site “The Queer Film Blogathon will be held on June 27, 2011. The focus is on lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or otherwise non-heterosexual, non-gender-binary depictions or personages in film.” So even if you found it late, like me, you should go contribute. This is to celebrate that June is Gay Pride Month. P.S. Congrats New Yorkers! Same-sex marriage was legalized Friday in the state of New York.

I am always realizing that there are genres that I need to add to the Netflix Instant Streaming category.

Click the film titles to be taken directly to the film on Netflix.

RuPaul’s Drag Race (2010) (Seasons 2-3) (Available Until May 22, 2013)

This is one of RuPaul’s reality shows that airs on the Logo network. They have various competitions to determine who the best drag queen is. I actually haven’t gotten around to watching it yet because I always realize it’s on when the season is already halfway through. Luckily I can watch the whole second season all the way through now. I have watched Drag U though which features drag queens who give women makeovers to improve their self esteem and win, of course. I really want a drag queen fairy godmother. It would so fun. In the meantime you can use the Dragulator, I did.

I Love You Phillip Morris (2009) (Available Until February 03, 2013)

Yes, I have previously mentioned my love for this film. Jim Carrey stars as the highly intelligent Steven Russell in the dark comedy I Love You Phillip Morris. He is a middle aged man who comes out and then becomes a con man to support his extravagant lifestyle. Ewan McGregor costars as the love of his life, Phillip Morris. Leslie Mann costars. The film was adapted from the book, I Love You Phillip Morris: A True Story of Life, Love, and Prison Breaks by Steve McVicker, which is based on the real life of Steven Jay Russell.

Dorian Gray (2009) (Available Until February 16, 2012)

Dorian Gray was a pretty good adaptation of my all time favorite book, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. They stick to the story, the dialogue (!) and there is plenty of debauchery. My main peeve is that the lead, Ben Barnes is a little odd looking. Dorian Gray is the story of a young, handsome man who finds out that the painting that was painted of him is what will age and show his sins while he stays eternally young looking. You can imagine how much bad stuff one can get into in that situation. There is a gay kissing scene, which is why I included it. Colin Firth (yum) and Ben Chaplin co-star.

Puccini for Beginners (2006) (Available Until March 20, 2022)

This is a romantic comedy starring Gretchen Mol (The Notorious Bettie Page), Elizabeth Reaser (Grey’s Anatomy), Justin Kirk and Julianne Nicholson. It’s about a lesbian who starts wondering if she’s really gay after a breakup. It’s a good little movie with a great cast.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) (Available Until December 16, 2014)

When two seasonal sheepherders unexpectedly fall in love they have to deal with their own feelings, their wives and life in general is this stormy drama. The leads are played by the fantastic late Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Their wives are played by Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway. Randy Quaid, Linda Cardellini and Anna Faris costar. The film was directed by the super talented Ang Lee (The Ice Storm). If you haven’t seen this yet then you must, as soon as possible.

The L Word seasons 2-5 (doesn’t include 1 or 6) (2004) (Not Currently Available)

The L Word was the lesbian answer to Queer As Folk. It’s definitely more downbeat but still a great show. I simply chose a picture of Katherine Moennig as Shane because she’s my favorite character.

Tying the Knot (2004) (Available Until October 11, 2013)

This is a documentary about same-sex marriage laws in the US. It is from 2004 so I’m sure that much of the info is out of date but it looks interesting. If you want to get riled up you may also want to check out another documentary, 8: The Mormon Proposition, which is about the LDS trying to prevent the gay marriage bill in California. Reviews by Mormons say it’s biased, but of course it would be. That’s the point, to show how ridiculous their views on this are.

Nip/Tuck Seasons 1-6 (full series) (2003-2009) (Available Until July 1, 2014)

Man, I love Nip/Tuck and it’s over the top lifestyle and problems (many caused by their own egos) of 2 handsome plastic surgeons. Over the course of the show creator Ryan Murphy (Glee) featured many LGBT plots including transgender arcs. There was also a bit of a tease plot line about Christian (Julian McMahon) worrying that he might be gay (he’s a real horn dog for the ladies).

Wet Hot American Summer (2001) (Available Until October 1, 2013)

(gif source: fuckyeahguyskissing)

Wet Hot American Summer has to be included for the young, giddy makeout scene between Bradley Cooper and Michael Ian Black whilst a bit of a way away their friends are talking about how to get them chicks. From the mind of David Wain this is a hilarious satire of camp counselor movies. The cast also includes David Hyde Pierce, Janeane Garafalo, Molly Shannon, Paul Rudd, Michael Showalter, Amy Poehler, Elizabeth Banks, Marguerite Moreau and Ken Marino.

Boys Don’t Cry (1999) (Available Until August 1, 2012)

Boys Don’t Cry is based on the true story of Brandon Teena (Hilary Swank) who was a trans man (a person who is born female but gender identifies as a man) who falls in love with the pretty Lana (Chloe Sevigny) and the hate crime that follows. Peter Sarsgaard and Brendan Sexton costar. Netflix also has The Brandon Teena Story, which is the documentary about the real Brandon Teena.

Edge of Seventeen (1998) (Available Until September 1, 2012)

Plot: “A gay teen finds out who he is and what he wants, who his friends are, and who loves him, in this autobiographical tale set in middle America in the 1980s. Growing up, learning about life, love, sex, friends, and lovers.” (from I was a big fan of this adorable movie as a teen. It stars Chris Stafford, Tina Holmes, Andersen Gabrych and Lea DeLaria.

Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss (1998) (Not Currently Available)

This comedy is uneven but it starred Brad Rowe (who Bop promised me would become a star, what happened?) at the height of his hotness. It’s no wonder that the movie is about Sean Hayes’s photographer character trying to turn him gay so he can romance him.

Kiss Me Guido (1997) (Available Until April 1, 2012)

Kiss Me Guido is definitely one of my favorites. Back before Jersey Shore (ew) not everyone was into the macho Italian American guy from NYC. Nicki Scotti (Detroit Rock City) plays this guy who really wants to be an actor but is working in a pizza shop. He’s a few slices short of a loaf so when he sees GWM in an apartment ad he thinks that it means “Guy With Money” instead of “Gay White Male”. When he meets his new effeminate, gay roomie (in the theater scene, score) laughs and friendship ensue. My sister and I still use that abbreviation incorrectly today for giggles. The movie costars Anthony Barille, Anthony DeSando, Craig Chester and Jennifer Esposito.

Chasing Amy (1997) (Available Until April 1, 2012)

Chasing Amy is a great comedy that proposes the question “Isn’t Ben Affleck so hot that a lesbian would fall for him?”. Just kidding, she falls for him as a person. The problem is that he can’t get her exes out of his head (which could happen in any relationship). Because it’s a Kevin Smith film (from his View Askew oeuvre) it has his trademark filthy humor but is also touching. Plus they are all comic writers (or tracers) so it’s like a good geek fantasy. The film stars Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Lee (Banksy!) and Jason Mewes. Characters from this film make a cameo in his later film, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

In & Out (1997) (Not Currently Available)

Yes, I did already mention In & Out in one of these and while I don’t usually do repeats I had to do so with this film. You have to love Kevin Kline as teacher who struggles with coming out late in life but in a quite silly manner. Tom Selleck plays his love interest. The film costars Joan Cusack, Matt Dillon, Debbie Reynolds, Wilford Brimley, Bob Newhart, Shalom Harlow, Shawn Hatosy, Lauren Ambrose, Selma Blair and Glenn Close. It was directed by Frank Oz.

The Birdcage (1996) (Available Until January 1, 2012)

The Birdcage is a lot of fun. It’s one of those movies that any time that you come across it on TV you have to watch it, yet again. It’s a remake of the 1978 French-Italian film La Cage aux Folles. The adorable Dan Futterman is about to marry a pre-Ally McBeal Calista Flockhart. The problem is that his fathers (Robin Williams and Nathan Lane) are both gay and the owners of a drag club while Flockhart’s father (Gene Hackman) is a Republican Senator. So Williams fakes a different profession, Lane dresses as and pretends to be Futterman’s mother and they pretend not to be Jewish. Of course tons of hilarious scenes ensue. Diane Wiest, Hank Azaria and Chrstine Branski costar in this Mike Nichols film.

Jeffrey (1995) (Not Currently Available)

Jeffrey handled the fear of Aids with humor, not easy to do. Wings era Steven Weber stars as Jeffrey who is worrying but falling for a guy while trying to be celibate due to his fear. Definitely a flick that I’ve watched quite a few times. The film costars Patrick Stewart, Nathan Lane, Michael T. Weiss and Sigourney Weaver. Weber even tweeted about the movie Friday night in reference to NYC’s gay marriage approval.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) (Available Until January 1, 2012)

Yeah, you probably already know how awesome this movie is but we still have to address it now. I loved this movie so much that I used to covet this bus when I was young and imagine traveling cross country having adventures in it. It’s about a group of drag queens who travel across Australia to perform in fantastic outfits and deal with prejudice on their awesome bus, Priscilla. Terence Stamp, Guy Pearce and Hugo Weaving costar. If you’re already a big fan then you may want to pick up the Blu-ray which, according to the screencaps, here, looks amazing.

Heavenly Creatures (1994) (Available Until January 1, 2012)

This drama is about the tumultuous friendship of two young ladies played by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey that leads to horrifying revenge. I recommend checking out the Film Experience’s Best Shot thoughts on it as well as Melanie Lynskey’s on the same site.

My So Called Life The Complete Series (1994) (Available Until March 1, 2013)

Though most of us first recall ah, Jordan Catalano (i.e. Jared Leto, front man of a pretty so so band) in all of this teen angst about high school we not only got to see Angela (Claire Danes) break out of her shell with the help of her drunk bestie Rayanne (A.J. Langer) but also their other bestie Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cruz) who was actually out, in high school, in 1994, that takes balls. It’s a fantastic show that despite it’s super quick cancellation is discovered by new crops of teens every year, who still identify with it. It can also bring back the nostalgia for those of us who are a bit older but were here for the 90s.

Another Country (1984) (Available Until July 7, 2012)

I watched this flick a few months ago during one of my revisiting Cary Elwes phases. It’s a story about a young gay student (Rupert Everett) attending a boarding school in 1930s England. It’s very slow moving but worth checking out to see all of these hot guys in their super young days, including Colin Firth!

Longtime Companion (1989) (Available Until May 1, 2013)

Plot: “Perhaps the first film to put a human face on the AIDS epidemic, Longtime Companion follows the lives of a small circle of friends from the first mention of the disease in the New York Times in 1981. First referred to as “Gay-Related-Immune-Disorder,” we watch the effect of the disease as it devastates the lives of our protagonists. Jumping between Manhattan and Fire Island, vignettes carry us from the it-couldn’t-happen-to-me mentality of the early days of the disease to the invasive effect it has had on all of our lives, today. The title of the film comes from the New York Times’ refusal to acknowledge homosexual relationships in their obituary section during this period. Instead, survivors were referred to as “Longtime Companions” of the deceased.” (from This drama stars the talented cast of Campbell Scott, Stephen Caffreey, Patrick Caddiy, Brian Cousins, John Dossett, Mary-Louise Parker and Dermot Mulroney.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) (Not Currently Available)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show was not only the first movie that introduced me to a sweet transvestite but also overpowering horniness in general as a child. It was one of my dad’s favorites. It’s an awesome musical about sci-fi, rock and roll and horny oddballs that a square couple meet on their honeymoon. Tim Curry and Susan Sarandon are fantastic. The whole cast is pretty amazing though (I still need to be Magenta for Halloween one day!). The whole cast is pretty amazing though (I still need to be Magenta for Halloween one day!). The film co-stars Barry Bostwick, Richard O’Brien and Meat Loaf. The movie has a huge following and tons of live shows as well as audience participation shows (that are sometimes aired on TV for Halloween) are often going on. A really neat looking Blu-ray book set was released for the film’s 35th anniversary in 2010.

Mango on SNL

“You cannot have the Mango!”

Chris Kattan played the adorable male stripper who could hypnotize any man into falling for him on Saturday Night Live during the late ’90s. Kattan was a cast member from seasons 16 through 23. There isn’t a definitive list out of each episode that featured Mango but you can watch Saturday Night Live The 1990s and Saturday Night Live The 2000s to find out. My sister even got me a Mango birthday cake back in the day, super neat.

Unfortunately Kattan used to get ragged on all of the time by his cast members for this character so in later episodes his unknown (but we were assuming at least bi) sexuality is revealed to be straight and he’s married, boo. SNL has also featured The Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoon mainly through those years but also once last season as well (with Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon as the live action versions). You can read a little more on gay sketches on SNL here.

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Note: This post was last updated on November 6, 2011.

Movie Quotes: The Hangover Part 2

FYI: This is spoiler heavy. For more on The Hangover Part 2 please read my previous post.

(awesome soundtrack)

Phil: “It happened again”
Tracy: “”Don’t say that”
Phil: “No, this time we really fucked up”
Tracy: “Seriously, what is wrong with you three?”
Phil: “So much Trace, I don’t even know where to begin”

Phil: “Hey how do you work the nitrous?”
Stu: “Uh, you don’t”
Phil: “C’mon, just one hit”

Stu: “It’s my bachelor brunch, go crazy, get some chocolate chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress”

Stu: “Do you see that? That’s orange juice with a napkin on top, so nobody roofies me”

Phil: “…you take Vegas out of that equation you would have married a cunt. Oh, it’s okay, I’m allowed to say it, it’s a bachelor party, drink up everybody, oh wait, there’s no alcohol, I forgot, we’re at a fuckin’ IHOP”

Sid: “I’m not sure he ever left Vegas, ya know. He really needs this”

Phil: “Pretty cool room Alan”
Alan: “Oh thanks Phil, my dad pays my rent”

Stu: “well only if you’re not busy”
Phil: “Stu”
Stu: “well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town”
Alan: ‘No, they’re in Raleigh-Durham that weekend…”

Alan: “Phil are you going?”
Phil: “Of course”
Alan: “Then it will be fun”

Stu: “That’s supposed to done by a registered nurse.”
Alan: “I’m a nurse, I’m just not registered.”

Alan: “So what are you, a doctor?”
Teddy: “No, not yet, I’m pre-med”
Alan: “Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?”
Teddy: “yeah”
Alan: “Well he turned out to be a gay”
Doug: “Alan”
Alan: “It’s true, I read it in Teen People

Alan: “It’s just the first I’ve heard of it, you could have paged me”

Stu: “Between Teddy and me you must be excited to have two doctors in the family”
Fohn: “You have to realize in my country we don’t consider dentists to be real doctors.”

Alan: “that was my dad, I’m a stay at home son”

Alan: “I’ve been uh meaning to ask someone, I notice it’s an uh fishing village, is there a Long John Silver’s on the island?”
Lauren: “You know, no I don’t think so, I’m so sorry”
Stu: “but, we are actually serving some great seafood”
Alan: “Better than Long John’s?”
Stu: “Yes”
Alan: “I’ll be the judge of that…”

Alan: “…None of you know Stu like I do, not you, not you, not you, not you, not nobody knows Stu like I do, no one. I can’t even tell you what we’ve been through cuz we mad a pact more important than blood. What I can tell you is this is not Stu’s first marriage, there was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago”

Phil: “Oh rice pudding, what are you doing?”
Stu: “ha, ha, ha”

Teddy: “I’m not really old enough to drink”
Alan: “Yeah, it’s illegal. It’d be a shame if somebody reported you”

Phil: “…not big breasts on her but still sold rack for an Asian”
Stu: “That is just wildly inappropriate and still I’m really glad you’re here…”

Alan: “Phil, I think it’s happened again.”
Phil: “Alan, what the fuck did you do?”

Phil: (laughing) “That’s good, why don’t you try to wash it off?”
Stu: “It’s not coming off, this is a real tattoo!”

Doug: “God, what city?”
Phil: “I don’t know Doug, fuckin’ Asiantown”

Stu: “It’s a 100 degrees and we don’t have a plan and all we’ve done is buy him hats and sodas”
Alan: “What? It’s a bag of Fanta”

Stu: “16 years old, spends the night in prison, can you imagine?”
Alan: (laughs) “we love to party”

Stu: “Fuck that police! Fuck tha police!”

Tattoo Joe: “Then you decided to get a tattoo, cried like a little bitch, this kid’s fuckin’ 9 years old, got balls twice your size…”

Alan: “Oh, the monkey is a pervert!”

Alan: “When a monkey nibbles on a penis it’s funny in any language.”

Stu: “Wow, it’s so beautiful” (at the monastery)
Alan: “What is this, a P.F. Chang’s?”

Stu: “Oh my god, we kidnapped a monk.”
Alan: ‘Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle.”

Phil: “Oh, all right so much for holy people, bunch of bald assholes…”

Kimmy: “Of course I remember him, he was buying shots for everyone, nice kids, his parents must be so proud.”

Kimmy: “Don’t be sad Stu, you love it, you say how special it was, you were crying”
Phil: “Wait, he was crying?”
Alan: “What a baby, he was crying”

Stu: “Load? What load?”
Kimmy: “You know, my sperms”
Stu: “Your English is off. You’re talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?”
Kimmy: “from my balls”

Kimmy: “Hey you in Bangkok sweetie, there’s a reason they don’t call it Bangcunt”

Alan: “I don’t get it. Is this a magic show?”

Stu: “You shot you’re load in me? Am I a bottom?”

Alan: “I”m sorry but I am so confused.”
Stu: “I made love to a man with boobies.”

Phil: “And then we forget, that’s what we do, I do so much fucked up shit and then I just forget about it”

Alan: “God, I never get to keep no monkeys”

Alan: “Hey Phil he’s got a banana on his helmet, these guys are the real deal”

Phil: “Actually the bullet just grazed my arm, 8 stitches, it only cost $6, how is that even possible?”

Phil: “What did you do to the marshmallows Alan?”
Alan: “Well isn’t it obvious? I spiked them with muscle relaxers and plus my ADHD medication”

Phil: “You’re not my friend”
Alan: “Don’t say that Phil. Are you serious? Even in America?”


Stu: “You’re the bearded devil”
Alan: “You liked it. You smiled at me when I held up the bag of marshmallows.”
Stu: “Because I like marshmallows you fucking psycho!”

Alan: “What about England Phil? Will we still be friends there?”
Phil: “Alan I told you it was the heat of the moment, we’re still friends, all over the world.”

Alan: “First the monkey, now my hat, how much worse can this day get?”

Mr. Chow: “Oh, you never do blow before? Sometimes your hearts stops then starts up again. Read a book.”

Phil: “Why would you do that?”
Mr. Chow: “Safekeeping pretty boy. I got a lot of heat on my ass, I got FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC…”

Mr. Chow: “This monkey isn’t just a normal monkey. Think of him like monkey drug mule…”

Phil: “How’d we wind up with a monkey last night anyway?”
Mr. Chow: “I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute so we stole him”

Alan: “Oh my word!”

Alan: “…I’m at my wit’s end!”



Alan: “I’m gonna miss you monkey. I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe one day.”

Phil: “Do you ever do anything that doesn’t end up in a stand off Chow?”
Mr. Chow: “I’m an international criminal, it always ends like this, I met my wife at one of these things.”

Phil: “Your password’s BOLOGNA1?”
Mr. Chow: “Well it used to be just BOLOGNA but now they make you add number.”
Kingsley: “fucking annoying”

Stu: “I have a weakness for prostitutes, all kinds apparently. I have a demon in me.”
Phil: “so what”

Stu: “…I’m gonna stay here in Bangkok. I think I belong here. Open up a little dentist’s office, teeth cleanings with a happy ending.”

Alan: “Hey! What the crud?”

Phil: “Chow has a speed boat?”
Teddy: “The Perfect Life”

Teddy: “It’s funny I can’t remember anything but when I woke up I was kinda happy.”
Stu: “Yeah”
Teddy: “By the way, do you have any idea where my finger is?”
Stu: “Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing monkey.”
Teddy: “Bangkok”
Stu: “Yeah, right? Fuckin’ Bangkok.”

Stu: “…I’m actually a part of this weird wolfpack.”
Alan: “Hey it’s not weird it’s pretty cool actually, no membership fees”

Alan: “Thanks Phil, you should shave your head too.”
Phil: “Why would I do that?”
Alan: “Well that way we could look exactly alike”

Alan: “We have him for the night we don’t own him permanently” (in reference to Mike Tyson singing)

Mike Tyson: “By the way, you really need to remove that fuckin’ tattoo from your face”

Teddy: “Hey guys, you’re not gonna believe this”
Phil: “Is that your phone?”
Teddy: “Yeah”
Phil: “How come you never tried calling us?”
Teddy: “It’s been dead for 2 days but I recharged it and found all these photos”
Stu: “What”
Phil: “Shit”
Teddy: “Yeah some of it’s pretty messed up”
Mike Tyson: “Awesome, let’s check ’em out”
Stu: “Whoa, whoa, no one needs to see this stuff”
Mike Tyson: “C’mon man, I’m Mike Tyson I’ve seen everything”