Posts Tagged ‘monthly movie rundown’

posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV


I did choose photos for this entry early in the month but yesterday was my birthday which means that all throughout May I was driving myself crazy with an existential crises and couldn’t get myself to focus long enough to write this. However I still want to post it because a lot of these films are blockbusters and will be out for a while. Plus I’ve actually seen some of them by now so I can give you my opinion on them.

(*****Stars are out of a possible 5*****)

Thor – 05/06

Thor is based on the Norse god of the same name. I was really into mythology when I was young so movies like this are right up my alley. I loved 2010’s Clash of the Titans but I can’t say the same for this movie. It’s got it’s good bits but it lacks something that I can’t put my finger on. Thor is pretty much a hothead who sets the plot in action by being too brash. I saw this film at the drive in and later with someone who hadn’t seen it at the theater. After the first showing I would have given it a 3 but after the second viewing it had grown on me a bit. I freakin’ loved Odin’s (Anthony Hopkins) helmet, so ridiculous yet awesome. The film stars Chris Hemsworth (whose Thor will also be appearing in 2012’s The Avengers), Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, Kat Dennings, Idris Elba, Ray Stevenson, Rene Russo, Clark Gregg and Anthony Hopkins. The film was directed by Kenneth Branagh.

Something Borrowed-05/06

This is a sappy chick flick with, what appears to be, an obvious ending. I am a sucker for bad Kate Hudson movies though so I really want to see this. It’s about 2 best friends, one of whom let’s the other date and then marry her crush. Oh will she eventually get him back? Probably. The film stars Kate Hudson, Ginnfer Goodwin, Colin Egglesfield and John Krasinski. It’s based on the book by the same name.

The Beaver-05/06 (Limited)

Unfortunately as someone who is online way too much I’ve been hearing about this terrible movie for a long ass time. Plot: “A troubled executive adopts a beaver hand-puppet as his sole means of communicating with his family and colleagues.” (from The film stars Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster and Anton Yelchin. It was also directed by Jodie Foster. I’m a big fan of Yelchin but I’m never watching this crap.

Last Night-05/06 (Limited)

Plot: “The story follows a married couple, apart for a night while the husband takes a business trip with a colleague to whom he’s attracted. While he’s resisting temptation, his wife encounters her past love. ” (from The film stars Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Eva Mendes, Anson Mount, Griffin Dunne and Stephanie Romanov. Intriguing, plus I love Worthington and Mendes. Definitely a rental for me.

Passion Play-05/06 (Limited)

As a big Megan Fox fan I’ve been reading things about this film for a while. The film has actually been available since it’s theatrical release date as rental on DirecTV (only for HD subscribers). Today the DVD also went on sale. Many people were taking this as a sign that the film sucks. I think it’s because it’s odd. It looks very interesting to me. Plot: “An angel under the thumb of a ruthless gangster is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck.” (from The film stars Mickey Rourke, Megan Fox, Bill Murray, Rhys Ifans, Rory Cochrane and Kelly Lynch.


I was predisposed to love Bridesmaids as it stars 2 actresses from SNL and was directed by the super awesome Paul Feig. The film is about Annie (Kristen Wiig) who is trying to be a kick ass maid of honor for Lillian (Maya Rudolph) even as her whole life is falling apart. Plus she has to compete with the bride’s new best friend and deal with the men in her life. As usual, Jon Hamm plays a cad handsomely. It was extremely funny. The film stars Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm, Jessica St. Clair, Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne, the late Jill Clayburgh, Wendy McLendon-Covey (Rules of Engagement), Ellie Kemper (The Office) and Chris O’Dowd.


If you follow Mindy Kaling on twitter then you have already heard this but somewhere along the way Paul Bettany decided that it would be more fun to play creepy weirdos than hot guys (and who can blame him, that does sound fun). This is his newest creepfest. He is a priest who is trying to find the vampires who kidnapped his niece. This film was pushed for a long time. Most recently this was due to them converting it to 3D but it had already been pushed prior to that, which doesn’t exactly make me think, this will be great. However it does look very creepy so I will eventually rent it. The film stars Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q (Nikita), Brad Dourif, Stephen Moyer, Christopher Plummer and Madchen Amick.

Hesher-05/13 (Limited-NYC & LA)

Plot: “After the tragic loss of his mother, T. J. and his pill popping father are forced to live with T. J.’s elderly grandmother. A young man with a troubled past named Hesher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) assumes the role of both mentor and tormentor, leading T. J. into troubles he could never have imagined. A young grocery clerk named Nicole steps in to protect T. J., and becomes the object of T. J.’s fantasies, while Hesher moves into Grandma’s home. Although uninvited, he is somehow accepted.” (from Wikipedia). The reviews of Hesher haven’t been kind but I’m definitely interested in seeing this odd film. It’s also pretty awesome that Jaime King was promoting it even though she isn’t in it. The film stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Natalie Portman and Rainn Wilson.

Everything Must Go-05/13 (Limited)

This film is a depressing looking dramedy starring Will Ferrell…Pass. A dude who loses his wife and job being redeemed by a yard sale? Uh, no. The film costars Laura Dern and Stephen Root.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides-05/20

The Pirates movies are fun and do serve their purpose but I’m not a huge fan or anything. I will either wait for the DVD or catch it in conjunction with another film at the drive in this summer. Honestly all of them sort of blur together for me. That being said there are a few things that look really neat about this one, they added Penelope Cruz and subtracted Kiera Knightley (hallelujah, she is super annoying and I’m a fan of Cruz), it involves mermaids and the Fountain of Youth and their is a cameo by Keith Richards (who Depp has said that he based Jack Sparrow on). Plus the locations look amazing. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer was tweeting photos while they were on location last summer and the photos looked amazing, they look even more stellar in the trailer. The film stars Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane and Judi Dench. It was directed by Rob Marshall.

Midnight in Paris-05/20

This is the new Woody Allen film which also stars Owen Wilson so I will be renting the DVD post haste when it comes out (I live a small town so they won’t be showing it here…ever). Plot: “While in Paris, blocked writer Gil retreats from his fiance and her parents and is drawn into a mysterious adventure rooted in the City of Lights’ artistic history. ” (from The film stars Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen.

The Hangover Part 2-05/27

The Hangover Part 2 is the same set up as the original film but it’s set in Bangkok. It is fucking hilarious! I usually only give a film 5 stars if it’s very rewatchable. I have only seen this once so far but I can tell that I will watch it often in the future (like I have with the original). Hurry up and go see it! The film stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeon, Paul Giammati, Jeffrey Tambor, Mike Tyson and Nick Cassavetes. It was directed by Todd Phillips.

Kung Fu Panda Part 2-05/27

Yes, this is animated but cute. I did see the first film and it was okay. I wasn’t yearning for a sequel but if you had to take a kid to the movies I bet there’s some laughs in it. Plot: “Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.” (from Characters in the film are voiced by Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Gary Oldman, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, Davie Cross, Danny McBride and Victor Garber.

The Tree of Life-05/27 (Limited)

Yes, people are jizzing their pants over this movie but it looks like the tyhpe of sappy, sentimental crap I don’t give a shit about. Also I miss 90’s Brad Pitt. Plot: “The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.” (from The film stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and Joanna Going. It was written and directed by Terence Malick.


posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV


Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)


"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)

(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)


"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.


This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)


"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.

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