Posts Tagged ‘movie quotes’

posted by on Movie Reviews, Movies/TV

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4.5 out of 5 stars

Note: spoilers abound

This post is for the current LAMB Movie of the Month: The Shape of Things. I’m not always crazy about the writer/director of this film, Neil Labute’s, work but I’m big fan of this flick. While the story is, of course integral to that, it’s actually the amazing acting by Rachel Weisz and Paul Rudd that initially drew me to (and continues to draw me back to) this disturbing film.

“You could be a sadist for all I know”  “Stop sweet talking me.”

Aside from Rudd and Weisz there are really only 2 other main characters, a yuppie couple played by Frederick Weller and Gretchen Moll. Weller looks like he’d fit right into a Whit Stillman movie, making the viewer (or at least this viewer) instantly hate him. Moll is interminably boring in this flick. Pre The Notorious Bettie Page I never saw a spark in her. Afterward she not only captured Bettie’s spirit but later tackled comedies, leading me to become a fan. However at this time, she was supposed to be the next big thing despite being as exciting as plain toast.

Neil LaBute originally wrote the The Shape of Things as a play. The cast who later went on to star in the flick originated the roles in the play two years prior to the filming of it. Probably my only real beef with the film is that the cast play college characters and only Moll was actually around college age during filming. However though the film is set at a college that isn’t really the point so it’s not that big of a deal.

“See I’m totally different, I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.”

The film centers on Adam (Paul Rudd). He’s a shy student and museum guard. It’s always assumed that a shy character should be drawn out so initially someone would probably think that when an anarchist artist named Evelyn (Weisz) starts flirting with him that this would only lead to good things. I can’t even explain how much more attractive this type of woman is to the faux manic pixies of our current pop culture landscape.

In reality Evelyn is continuously altering Adam, mostly by using sex and flattery as tools of manipulation. Some of the things that she gets him to change about himself are his weight, fashion sense and haircut.

“What? Did she give you a haircut and a blowjob and now you’re her puppy?”-Phillip

His friends, in particular Phillip (Weller), call him out on this fairly quickly. However Phillip is a dick. Phillip is engaged to Jenny (Gretchen Moll). The fact is that Phillip is the type of guy who nabbed Jenny because he knew that Adam was interested in her. It’s basically impossible to see what Jenny sees in Phillip aside from his dominance (she often seems to disappear into the background in his presence).

While Jenny does compliment and end up hitting on Rudd (“You’re like this totally hot guy now”), in part due to his makeover and most likely also due to both of them being taken, she actually goes into the subject more thoroughly with Weisz. Weisz seems to want to change the subject when Jenny questions her. However what is truly scary about the film is that what Jenny says is true, people often are in actual relationships with other people and they think that person should just change for them. I’m the complete opposite type of person so I’ve never really understood that. To paraphrase Jenny, “Cosmo says if you change one thing you could have the perfect man. Well Phillip has about six of those one things”.

The cruelest part of Weisz’s makeover is cutting him off from his friends after both of them have indiscretions with the other couple.

“…from the scorned girl’s handbook.”

The big reveal is that Weisz has being using Rudd as her experiment or “human sculpture” for her thesis project. She is a huge fan of performance art and takes great pride in her unveiling.

"Tell me how cute this is then? Fuck you, you heartless cunt!"

It’s definitely Weisz that steals this movie. She is so strong and interesting to watch. When you rewatch the film it’s definitely easier to see her character a bit more. While she may smile, flirt and act interested in Adam, the only times that she truly seems emotional is when she is either espousing or arguing about art. Art is her life.

The Shape of Things is definitely a must watch, but it’s not an easy watch and not for everyone.

You can watch The Shape of Things on Netflix Streaming.

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posted by on Movies/TV

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This post is for LAMB Acting School 101-Don Cheadle. The purpose was to write about Don Cheadle. I am definitely a fan of his. I do kind of feel like he’s so good that he’s one of those actors that we take for granted though. “Oh, Cheadle’s in this? He’ll be good in it (even if the movie isn’t). However he’s more of a dramatic actor and I am the chick who rewatches cheesy movies all the time so though I’ve seen a good deal of his work it was often only once. This means that I don’t feel qualified to make a best of list or something to that effect.

Instead I’ll talk about Don Cheadle in the first film that I took notice of him in and that is still my favorite, Boogie Nights. In Boogie Nights Cheadle plays porn star Buck Swope. Buck is a sweet, kind of naive guy. I feel like most of the characters in the business in this film are outcasts in other parts of their lives but really shine in porn.

Buck is also stereo salesman. He’d probably be an even better salesman if it weren’t for the fact that he loves country music.

“So long pardner”

His boss doesn’t dig this. He wants him to be the cool brother who’s down with the hip music. But Buck is not hip.

“The cowboy look ended about 6 years ago” “It’s coming back though”

Buck often works with Becky Barnett but he’s not really keen on her fashion/image advice.

“But doesn’t it make you nervous when you’re dealing with all of those evil forces?”

Buck does create a gimmicky image for himself but it’s not fulfilling…and it’s itchy.

“I love sunsets” “but sunrises are better”

Luckily he meets the delightful Jessie St. Vincent.

“Will you quit saying pornography?!”

Later Buck and Jessie try to start their own stereo business by getting a loan but are brutally rebuffed. Before he was hounded for not being black enough. Now he is vilified for being involved in the adult industry, even though this business wouldn’t be at all connected to it. Buck’s naivety really shows in this scene when he even says “You’re not being fair, this isn’t fair”. As we all eventually learn life isn’t fair. There are many times when it won’t matter if you’ve followed the rules because others often don’t. Plus perception is often more powerful than reality.

Buck happens to be in a donut shop when a robbery takes place. Everyone else ends up dead. In the past maybe a young Buck would have waited for the police (possibly been blamed) and they would have confiscated the cash. But not this time, he grabs the bag and leaves.

“come inside us”

Buck now has some dough and opens his dream business. With the help of his friends he shoots a commercial that only subtly references his past. Now he’s learned how to capitalize on acting like someone else to draw business. Hopefully he’s still himself on a regular basis though.

Screencaps are clickable to larger versions.

Don’t forget to check out all of the other posts on Don Cheadle from fellow LAMBS by going here.

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posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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Observe and Report is a dark comedy about a security guard at a mall who decides that he wants to become a police officer when he sees the opportunity to prove himself. This occurs when a flasher targets his mall. The film stars Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta and Anna Faris.

You can click the screencaps to see the larger versions.

Female Reporter: “I’m standing here at Forest Ridge Mall where earlier today a man exposed himself to several women before fleeing the scene. I’m here with Ronnie Barnhardt, one of the security guards here at the mall…”
Ronnie: “No, cut. Uh, you fucked up, ma’am, I’m the head of mall security you should do that again and say it right”
Female Reporter: “Uh, well Officer Barnhardt”
Ronnie: “Action”
Female Reporter: “Right, uh, is there any information you can shed on this situation?”
Ronnie: “You’re just gonna keep goin’ even though you fucked up my title?”
Female Reporter: (nods)
Ronnie: “Okay, well I’m standing here with this doctor”

Ronnie: “Everyone thinks they’re fine until someone puts something in them they don’t want in them”

Ronnie: “…it’s actually kinda my job to put myself in harm’s way to protect weaker people such as yourself who are you know cripped in the leg and what not…”

Ronnie: “…it’s clear that this pervert is some kind of sociopathic genius who plans on coming back here and finishing what he started, by murdering Brandi”
Brandi: “Oh my god, is that gonna happen? Is that true?”
Ronnie: “It’s gonna happen”
Detective Harrison: “No, it’s not gonna happen”
Ronnie: “He’s gonna murder you Brandi”

Ronnie: “Race has nothing to do with this, you fit the profile…”
Saddamn: “My dick is brown you dumb motherfucker”

Saddamn: “…last week he comes here and tells me he knows that he’s discovered my plot to blow up the Chick-fil-A. Why the fuck would I blow up Chick-fil-A? It’s fucking delicious”

Nell: “…but I think you should know that there’s no shame in going after what your dreams, so few people do it and I think you should keep doing it, no matter how many people laugh at you”
Ronnie: “Who’s laughing at me? No one laughs at me, if anything I laugh at other idiots who are tryin’ do what they want, no one laughs at me for trying to do my destiny, not how this works…”

Police Officer: “…he’s probably gonna get killed”
Detective Harrison: “Good, I hope he does get killed, fuck him, I don’t care, I’m telling you, I hate this guy”

Mom: “You know I remember when your father picked me up for our first date. I swear he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on, I knew right then and there that I would fuck him that night and that I would end up marrying him.”
Ronnie: “I sure hope that happens to me tonight.”

Ronnie: “Do you think it was my fault that dad left?”
Mom: “Definitely”

Ronnie: “Wow, that was impressive, you, I like to drink fast too so”

Ronnie: “So Brandi, I’m just dying to know, how much do you love working at this mall?”
Brandi: “Oh god, I hate that shit…”

Brandi: “Oh my god, where did you get these?” (looking at pill bottle) “Clonazepam, that’s some good shit, I’m impressed. I did not think you partied like that”
Ronnie: “God do I ever party, I party like this every 4 to 6 hours”

Brandi: (doing a shot of tequila) “Oh my god, it burns so good”

(in bed during sex she seems to be sleeping so he stops)
Brandi: “Why are you stopping motherfucker?”
Ronnie: “I’m sorry, oh god I’m sorry”

Mom: (to Dennis) “You know when Ronnie was, um, in high school I used to fuck all his friends”

Ronnie: “…unfortunately, no this picture of a penis does not cheer me up”

Dennis: “Ronnie, please can you take the dick off your face?”

Ronnie: “…finding out whose penis that is is my last shot at redemption”

Mom: “…try to look on the bright side, you may not be the smartest person in the world but you’re handsome from certain angles…”

Mom: “I just want you to know I’m ready to make a change”
Ronnie: “You’re gonna stop drinking?”
Mom: “I’m switching to beer, I can pound those all day and still keep my shit together and I’m doing it for you”
Ronnie: “I’m so proud of you mom”

Ronnie: “and if anyone here wants a girl to have sex with you and then fuck your enemy go to Brandi cuz she’s the girl that does that”

Ronnie: “I want everyone to know Ronnie Barnhardt caught the pervert, not the fuckin’ police”

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posted by on Christmas, Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

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(as per usual spoilers abound)



A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is the third in the hilarious trilogy about two stoners who end up unintentionally going on wild drug filled adventures. This time it’s set during Christmas which means that those classic Christmas features can be incorporated, such as Santa, musicals, claymation and small, servile robots (oh wait, maybe those are just 80s related). Or as I gushed to the director Todd Strauss-Schulson who retweeted me on twitter.

(after jumping on Santa’s lap in a mall)
Kumar: “Santa!”
Mall Santa: “Kumar, No”
Mom in Line: “C’mon, is this a joke?”
Kumar: “Hold the fuck on Reba, your son can rub his ass on Santa’s cock in a minute”
Mall Santa: “What do you want for Christmas young man?”
Kumar: “That’s a really good question. I want a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine
Mall Santa: “Done”
Kumar: “and a DeLorean”
Mall Santa: “Yes”
Kumar: “I want the Wu-Tang Clan to get back together”
Mall Santa: “I’ll tell the elves”
Kumar: “and by the way this is just for my stockings okay, for my real present…”

Adrian: “…to a party she’s throwing in Manhattan, best part of all you’re coming with me”
Kumar: “No can do man, I gotta stay here and smoke this week, otherwise I won’t get high…”

Todd: “All right, I’ll Skype you later, or text you, or both”

 

Maria: “Now c’mon on fuck a baby into me”

Vanessa: “I’m pregnant”
Kumar: “Pregnant? We, we practiced safe sex. I mean I pulled out and came on your back, maybe a couple of squeaks got by but is that all it takes?”
Vanessa: “Yes, that’s all it takes. No wonder you flunked outta med school”

Harold: “You look terrific, did you lose weight or?”
Kumar: “Oh, a gained quite a bit, actually…”

(inside of Harold’s house)
Kumar: “Hey, this place is like not shitty”
Harold: “Ah, thank you, the bay window’s brand new actually, we just put that in last week, the sconces are new, the sconces are actually brand new”
Kumar: “Yeah I was gonna say it looks like you guys got some awesome sconces” (cringes)
Harold: “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you”

Harold: “Maria’s dad grew that tree and now it is dead. Koreans killed his mother and now this tree. Christmas is ruined.”

Todd: “Freeze, this is a robbery, give me all your friendship…”

Adrian: “So you two own this tree lot?”
Lamar: “Yeah, what a couple of brothers can’t sell trees? Only swing from em like monkeys you honkey”
Adrian: “What? No, of course not, you can do both”

Adrian: “…pussy’s not like yogurt, it has an expiration date”
Kumar: “Yogurt has an expiration date”
Adrian: “Does it? Damnit, okay, that explains a lot…”

Todd: “You got my baby high!”

Ava: “I got the munchies”
Todd: “Great, now we’ve got to stop and get some disgusting food for her so she can come down from her trip, fantastic”

Adrian: “…also I told her you work for the White House”
Kumar: “Yeah, like anyone’s gonna believe that”

Todd: “…ah, Cocaine! Have you kids never seen VH1’s Behind the Music? Do you not know what cocaine can do to the mind of a person as young as you?”

Kumar: “Okay dude, do you feel kinda weird?”
Harold: “Yeah, I do actually. My face is feeling kinda numb.
Kumar: “Fuck, I bet these kids put something in here”
Harold: “Was it drugs? Was it semen?”
Kumar: (gargles drink) It doesn’t taste like semen.”

Mary: “Sorry, I don’t date black guys” (about Kumar)

Kumar: “Uh, excuse me, Miss, I’m not gonna let you rape my friend on Christmas Eve, all right, he’s married”

Adrian: “Your coke baby has super powers”

Harold: “Holy shit, dude, you’re claymated”

Rosenberg: “Okay don’t start with this, all right, just cuz your wife made you convert doesn’t mean you’re not a Jew. His name is Seth Goldstein for christ sake”
Goldstein: “First of all, don’t ever take the lord’s name in vain, secondly I was baptized bitch!”
Goldstein: “The second the priest poured that holy water over me all my Jewish neurosis and self hatred just washed right off.”
Kumar: “Sounds like you’re really enjoying your new religion”
Goldstein: “Dude, it’s the balls, these dirty Jew bastards have no idea what they’re missing, fishing, hunting, I can tie knots on a sail boat. I’ve made some terrible investments, doesn’t bother me a bit. And guess what? Next week I have an appointment to get uncircumcised. That’s right I’m gonna get my schnozzle”

Kumar: “…then I’ll head down to the nun’s shower room”
Harold: “I didn’t know the nuns all showered in the same room”
Kumar: “Of course they do, how do you think they stay so clean?”


Kumar: “…you and I will get the tree, we’ll take it back to your place and when Maria’s dad comes home and sees this beautiful tree sitting in your living room he’ll jizz all over it”

Kumar: “No, dude, I don’t understand. Look at you man, you’ve got a great job, you make good money, you don’t beat your wife, what more could a Latino father in law wish for?”

Neil Patrick Harris: “Oh, what did I tell you about using tongue?”
David Burtka: “You said you wanted it to look realistic”
Neil Patrick Harris: “Yeah realistic, not fucking gay as shit. You know the only reason I put up with this homo crap is for the P’Tang”

Neil Patrick Harris: “Fuck Savage, that rock is mine”

Gracie: “Oh my god, I thought you were gay”
Neil Patrick Harris: “I am gay, gay for that pussy”

Neil Patrick Harris: “Morty, Kumar, long time”



Kumar: “Time the fuck out Neal, how the fuck are you still alive?”
Harold: “Yeah, how the fuck are you still alive man?”
Neil Patrick Harris: “What you talkin’ bout?”
Harold: “We saw you get shot, remember?”
Neil Patrick Harris: “You have to be more specific”
Kumar: “in that whorehouse”
Harold: “in Texas”
Kumar: “you branded a prostitute”
Harold: “remember?”
Neil Patrick Harris: “oh yeah, now I remember…”

(on heaven)
Neil Patrick Harris: “…the chicks were hot, the music was sick, there were lasers, it was like being famous in the early 90s”

Jesus: “I’m sure you recognize me but I’m Jesus, so”
Neil Patrick Harris: “Jesus?”
Jesus: (points at crucifix necklace) “Jesus Christ, that’s me, I’m Jesus Christ”

(or the version that was cut but used for commercials/trailers)
Jesus: “Neil Patrick Harris. Welcome to heaven, I’m Jesus”
Neil Patrick Harris: Jesus?”
Jesus: “Christ, I practically run this place”
Neil Patrick Harris: “Oh, for reals?”
Jesus: “I mean my dad owns it but I’m kinda number 1”
Neil Patrick Harris: “Oh, you’re one of those”

Neil Patrick Harris: “Okay, ladies I’m Neil Patrick Harris, I played Private Carl Jenkins in Starship Troopers”

Neil Patrick Harris: “Jesus, what a cockblock”

Kumar: “You’re not gay motherfucker!”
Harold: “at all”

Neil Patrick Harris: “…hey Merry Christmas guys, we’ll see you in the next one”

Todd: “No, no, no more cocaine”
Ava: (rubbing face) “I need it, I need it”

Kumar: “No, nobody’s dying Claus, not on my watch”

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(source for the gifs: V-H-S.tumblr.com)

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Movie Quotes: 50/50

Nov
2011
30

posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

1 comment

French poster


(source: marshall-beercules.tumblr.com)

Kyle: “What’s that smell…?”
Adam: “Oh, uh yeah, I ran out of shampoo and I had to use Rachel’s”
Kyle: “You smell like you fucked the cast of The View”




(source: christophernolans.tumblr.com)

Kyle: “Has she been sucking on your dick, been giving you blow jobs?
Adam: “No, she doesn’t like to”
Kyle: “She doesn’t, no fucking shit she doesn’t like to. Who likes putting dicks in their mouth? You do it, cuz that’s why they call it blow jobs, it’s a job”

Kyle: “50/50, if you were a casino game you’d have the best odds”


(source: theinnercinema.com)

Diane: “I’m moving in”
Adam: “No, no, mom no”
Diane: “I’m your mother Adam”
Adam: “No, exactly, that’s why…”

Adam: “If you don’t mind, how old are you?”
Katherine: “Um, 24”
Adam: “You’re 24, wow! What are you like Doogie Howser or something?”
Katherine: “Who’s Doogie Howser?
Adam: “The teenage doctor”
Katherine: “Does he work here?”
Adam: “No, no, I just meant you seem a little young to be a doctor”

Rachael: “Having a dog helps with the healing process”
Adam: “What does he have a medical license?”

Adam: “Are you gonna like keep touching me like that or?”
Katherine: “Like this?”
Adam: “Yeah”
Katherine: “Um, I’m, I’m tryin’ to make you feel more at ease”
Adam: “That’s going to make me feel more at ease? It’s like being slapped by a sea otter”
Katherine: “Touching promotes trust, it’s one of the key ways that hospital practitioners make their patients feel more secure in stressful situations”
Adam: ‘Yeah but, it is, just that’s not gonna help”
Katherine: “Really, a sea otter? Is that, I mean, is this, is that better?” (touching his arm again)
Adam: ‘This is getting creepy”

Kyle: “You have a girlfriend? Oh yeah, I forgot. Why would you go to Mardi Gras when you’re busy here not getting blow jobs and hand jobs?”

Kyle: “You deserve better, way better, if I was your girlfriend you know what I’d be doin? I’d be sucking your cock every 3 minutes, I’d be baking you fucking cookies all day and shit”
Adam: “What kind of cookies?”
Kyle: “Any kind”
Adam: “You’d make me snickerdoodle cookies?”
Kyle: “I’d make you snickerdoodle cookies”

Adam: “You really think a girl’s going to go for me cuz I have cancer?”
Kyle: “For the millionth time yes…”

(on a double date)
Adam: “I’m gonna have to crash out, sorry, I’m just exhausted, the um, chemo, uh, just takes it outta ya. But you know I have some really potent medical weed at my house if you want to come over”

Katherine: “Admittedly I do check his Facebook like every day to see if he’s dating somebody new, which is so pathetic”

Katherine: “Hey, um Adam, listen, I just, I just want you to have my cell number just if you need anything, you’d have it”
Adam: “Thanks, uh, did I just like score your digits?” (laughs)
Katherine: “No, no” (serious)
Adam: “That, that, that was a joke”

Rachael: “Um, you’re smoking weed?”
Adam: “Well it’s medicinal”
Rachael: “You got a prescription for medicinal marijuana?”
Kyle: “No, I got a prescription for medicinal marijuana, Adam was too afraid”
Rachael: “Well what’s wrong with you Kyle?”
Kyle: “I have night blindness…”

Katherine: “That makes you kind of a dick”
Adam: “Me? (laughs) Is that like a medical term?”

Kyle: “That’s your Make A Wish, to drive? We could be having sex with hookers while skydiving right now…”

(in the hospital)
Katherine: “How are you feeling?”
Adam: “Great, a lot of morphine”

Adam: “I look pretty good”
Kyle: “I’d fuck you”
Adam: “Thanks”

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