Posts Tagged ‘movie review’

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“…without football I don’t know what I love…”

3.5 out of 5

***This review is not a spoiler free zone***

As you may know I have a penchant for the films of 50 Cent. Usually they are exploitation style crime dramas with lots of guns and an awesome sex scene. However with All Things Fall Apart Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson went for something wildy different. For that I commend him.

If you keep up with the celeb gossip then you’ve probably seen photos from this flick which had been dubbed, “the football cancer movie” more than once. During the filming a ton of photos were released showing how 50 had committed to the role by losing a ton of weight. They were quite shocking.

Normally I wouldn’t be up for a sports related movie but I really wanted to see this drama. The movie was co-written by 50 and directed by Mario Van Peebles (who also costars as 50’s dad). The most glaring thing about the movie is, obviously, that 50 Cent is now in his late 30s playing a college football star. But hell I totally understand his motivation. I would want to play the starring role in a movie like this if I were making it.

a collage of his headwear, for your pleasure

Being a drama there isn’t a bunch of out and out fun like other flicks in his repertoire. There is one thing that I want to share because I did chuckle. This movie hits you over the head with foreshadowing. The most prevalent use of it is when we see 50 in a variety of hats covering his dreads. Knowing what the plot is when going in you can tell this is to starkly contrast with him later losing his hair from chemo. However it’s still sort of funny that they used so many and at times I wondered if they were in fact attached to his wig and the whole thing was jimmy rigged to stay in place.

post coitus, we don't get a hot sex scene in this cuz it's a serious film

In All Things Fall Apart 50 is the Big Man On Campus. He’s a football star. Pussy comes easy, grades come easy (in fact he has a scholarship but doesn’t really attend class much) and he’s a local celebrity.

a happy moment

His parents are not well off. His mother runs a bar and is a caterer while his father runs an auto shop. However they are counting on him to get picked up by a pro team. Then they will be set. So all of that is riding on his shoulders.

admiring a classmate

His bro is the shy, nerdy type who actually gets called Urkel on occasion. Things come so easy for 50 that he seemingly accidentally, well at first, picks up his bro’s crush for himself. I won’t really be discussing her cuz yeah, not a fan of that character. No, these brothers do not get along.

more foreshadowing, when 50 falls while breaking up this altercation his parent's worry about an injury sidelining his career

50 Cent's BFF is such a stereotypical stoner parody that he sometimes takes you out of the film

when things start to fall apart

even the lighting reflects his ennui

When 50 is diagnosed with cancer their oncologist (Ray Liotta) tries to be optimistic with them but his parents want to be overly so. All of the sudden he’s super ill and having an identity crisis. He’s no longer a star, people don’t even recognize him. He’s lost his scholarship and hasn’t earned any credits due to his previous goofing off. It’s almost like he’s a ghost of his former self. Even at the family dinner table he feels an outcast since he can’t really eat because of the treatments.

a good time for his bro to kick him when he's down

His brother has to give him a reality check on how the whole family has actually been living. Now they are really scraping to make ends meet. 50’s medical bills are really taking a toll on the whole family financially and emotionally. In fact the dad moves out because he’s a dick can’t take it. His bro basically tries to tell 50 to get his act together.

not getting your act together

So 50 sleeps in a cardboard box outside of his father’s auto shop. His dad tries to hire him to help out. 50’s just not good at it though. He feels downtrodden. But he also gives him some advice, “you can sell shit Deon, that’s a legit skill”. You see in another earlier bit of foreshadowing 50 got the price jacked up on a car his dad was trying to unload. This comes in handy since another job offer that he’d had was just lip service.

selling cars is just that easy

50 decides to go groveling to his bro who is now working at a car lot. He literally gets down on his knees and begs. But his bro still isn’t over that whole living in his shadow thing and says he couldn’t even if he wanted to. So instead of giving up 50 takes a chance and sells a car right outside, without being hired, on the spot. The cowboy doesn’t even need a test drive. That’s how swell a salesman he is.

Things are falling back together. 50’s rolling in the dough. He even manages to donate to his own charity jar at his mom’s bar (aw, so sweet). Plus he doubles the companies sales in the process earning his bro a promotion. Now they can finally be pals.

But it can’t all stay rosy. He does, after all, have cancer. So when 50 starts feeling ill he goes in for some honest advice from his doc, my man Ray Liotta. Liotta takes him outside of the hospital for a completely honest heart to heart that this hospital can never know went down. You see 50 has 9K saved up right now. Liotta gives it to him straight. 50 doesn’t have long. If he goes back in for treatments it will put his family back in the hole for at least 100K, plus he will live out his last days hooked up to medical BS. Liotta illustrates this with a story of an early patient of his.

look how easily he goes from Steve Urkel to Stefan Urquelle‎

At this point there really is only one option, partay! Seriously though 50 decides, to as his weed addled friend (who also planned the party, “I’ve always been the entrepreneurial type, how else was I gonna pay for my weed?”) tells a singer, “I think he just wants to go out on top”, with a fun white party ala something you’d see from Puff Daddy. Shut up, you know you’ve always want to go to one of those too. He tricks his mom by making her think she’s just catering. Sike! You and dad are so getting back together! It is pretty great. He ends up making amends with his whole family.

All in all I do recommend All Things Fall Apart. It doesn’t totally hit the mark authenticity wise. It’s a bit over dramatic. But I think that they did a very good job all in all. I think that a lot of heart and hard work went into this movie. 50 and many of the other actors give very heartfelt, impassioned performances. His character even has a pretty good arc. I mean he goes from just having it easy and being oblivious, to down and out and then to a full man. I find it sad that it only had a limited theatrical run.

Disclosure: This film was provided to me courtesy of Image Entertainment but that doesn’t effect my views on it.

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Movie Review: ZPG Zero Population Growth
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Top Oscar Winning Movie on Netflix Streaming

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posted by on Movie Reviews, Movies/TV

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Please enjoy my video review of Marvel’s The Avengers.

(photos via The Official Avengers Facebook page)

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Sexy Shirtless Superheroes-includes the cast of The Avengers
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Hot Donna’s Top 5 Season 2 Angel Episodes
May Movie Flowers-includes my initial thoughts on Iron Man 2
Movie Quotes: Due Date-starring Robert Downey Jr.
Movie Rundown: September 2010-includes my initial thoughts on The Town starring Jeremy Renner
Web Oodles 5/20/10-includes a couple of sexy Robert Downey Jr. photos

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posted by on Movie Reviews, Movies/TV

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4 (out of 5 stars)

This post is for the LAMB Director’s Chair #26: Ang Lee.

I just rewatched The Ice Storm for two reasons, it’s been a while and I never could get a handle on what I enjoyed so much about it. I mean I remember thinking that it was fantastic back during the original release and watching it at least a couple of other times since then. I even have The Ice Storm: The Shooting Script.

Upon this viewing I think that I finally got it. It’s not just the talented cast, the attention to period detail and the inclusion of swingers. It’s the awkwardness. Every character in the film seems incredibly, realistically awkward in these situations (aside from Sigourney Weaver, who is wonderfully strong).

The Ice Storm is set during a Thanksgiving holiday in the 1970’s. Joan Allen and Kevin Kilne have two children, 16 year old Tobey Maguire (returning home from a fancy schmancy boarding school) and the impulsive 14 year old Christina Ricci. While Allen seems to be going through a type of midlife dissatisfaction owing to different issues that include (but probably aren’t limited to), a need to find some type of spirituality and the niggling suspicion that her hubby is cheating on her.

She’s correct. Kline is banging Sigourney Weaver. Weaver and Kline are sooo hot in this. He spends much of the film walking around all clueless and shirtless. She’s outgrowing their arrangement though. It seems that their affair which was once sizzling is now losing the thrill and he’s acting more like a second husband, which she says that she doesn’t need. When she just up and leaves, without telling him, when they are about to fuck it’s fantastic.

key party in The Ice Storm

Kline and his wife and Weaver and her hubby attend somewhat staid dinner parties. However they eventually end up at a key party, which is all the rave now, awesome! An interminably young and hot Glenn Fitzgerald even makes an appearance at the party as some chick’s son that she brought to swap, whoa! The party seems to cause many of the main characters turmoil instead of fun though.

The children are also exploring their love and lust lives. Ricci has an on again off again fondling type relationship with a super spacey Elijah Wood. At the same type his younger bro is in love with her but not really ready to experiment yet when she makes a move.

Maguire is more shy and reserved. He has the hots for assumed poor little rich girl Katie Holmes. He worries that his roomie David Krumholtz might snare her instead as he apparently always does with Tobey’s crushes. The face that Krumholtz is portrayed as some kind of player in this tickles me. The three of them end up awkwardly boozing it up before he returns home one night to escape a scary situation.

Without totally giving away the ending, some things are resolved and something soul crushing happens. The ending is, afterall, set during an ice storm.

Sources for the above photos (in order)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

You may also enjoy my other LAMB posts:
3 Films by Sam Raimi
3 Films Starring Samantha Morton
Movie Review: Dario Argento’s Jenifer
Don Cheadle as Buck in Boogie Nights

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Enjoy my video review of David Wain’s Wanderlust.

The film was written by David Wain and Ken Marino (who’s also in the movie) and directed by David Wain. It stars Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd. The above photo and poster and were selected from David Wain’s blog. You can see more here on my Childrens Hospital tumblr.

Check It Out:

my Fuck Yeah, Childrens Hospital! tumblr

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This post is for the Dario Argento Director’s Chair on LAMB. I’m a passive Argento viewer. Unlike many horror fans I’m not like super obsessed with him. When I took a look at his filmography Jenifer is the title that jumped out at me.

Jenifer is one of those horror movies that is truly gross. It’s like a car wreck, you can’t look away. Jenifer was a part of the TV series Masters of Horror on Showtime (showcasing one short horror film per week). I really dug Masters of Horror since they had a different guest horror director each week so there was always something new.

Jenifer was written by the star of the film Steven Weber (adapted from a comic). When I first saw it I didn’t know what to expect. I also didn’t realize how wonderfully cracked that Weber was (then). Of course now that I follow his twitter it makes total sense. BTW-Gregory Nicotero (whom I adore) does the makeup.

Jenifer is a simple, creepy tale about someone who, at first, seems to be a battered young woman but is totally monstrous instead. The film starts with cop Weber and his partner who come upon a woman who is being attacked by her boyfriend. Weber has to shoot him. Despite the fact that the woman has a horrific face Weber feels bad for her and rescues her from the institution that she ends up in. It doesn’t hurt that she has a banging body. Orderlies always escort strangers in on helpless women in the shower, right?

When Weber takes her in she instantly flips out his wife when SHE BITES HER ON THE FACE. No shit. Weber is enamored with new poon so he’s sort of indifferent to the attack. It is shown prior to Jenifer’s arrival that their marriage isn’t perfect since they hadn’t slept together in a while but his wife was all psyched to knock boots until he took her too hard. Wait, that’s possible? (Sorry, Weber on the brain.) They also have a teen son (the runaway on Queer as Folk) but he’s not given much to do aside from ogling tits.

Of course the demonic chick and Weber bang in his car so he sides with her instead of his family even when she rips out his cat’s entrails. Ugh.

Weber goes down hill fast just like the guy he had to shoot that he’d thought was insane. Of course living with and fucking a sideshow freak is enough to drive anyone to the bottom of a bottle. Speaking of sideshows, well, he tries to get her picked up by one but that doesn’t work out. Yep, murder, one of her many murders.

I love this angle.

They flee to the woods to live (I suppose that he thinks this will protect others from her). Of course it doesn’t. He gets a part time job and starts eying his boss (who is blonde with a nice rack, but doesn’t eat people) so of course Jenifer doesn’t sit idly by. Yep, more murder. The film ends with things coming full circle.

So yeah, this movie (along with the classic Zombie Strippers) shows how men can be super swayed by some nice cans despite the chick being covered in blood.

You can watch Jenifer on Netflix Streaming or rent it on Amazon Instant Video.

Don’t forget to check out the other great Dario Argento posts from fellow LAMBs by going here.

You may also enjoy:
Top Zombie Movies on Netflix Streaming
Movie Review: ZPG Zero Population Growth
Don Cheadle as Buck in Boogie Nights-a post for LAMB Acting School

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