Posts Tagged ‘movie’

posted by on Movies/TV

1 comment

Since today was the first day of the end of the world (rolls eyes), let’s do this shit. I feel like I would be remiss if I didn’t address actual end of the world theories so those are at the end.

Click the title of the film to go purchase it on Amazon (or another store) or just check out the widget at the end of this post. Clicking on the date will take you to the IMDB to read more on the film.

Last Night (1998)
“I don’t give a damn. People are always saying ‘The children. Pity the children’. I’m tired of the children. They haven’t lived, given birth, watch their friends die. I have invested 80 years in this life. The children don’t know what they’re missing. “

My favorite doomsday film is not a special effects laden film. In fact, there are none in it. This is a little known independent film that focuses on a group of characters and what they would each be doing on their last day on Earth. This is your type of film if you are a “life is about the journey, not the destination” person. We never learn why the world is ending. That isn’t the point. It’s about what, as an individual person, you would be doing. Some just want to see their family, some want to do something that they have never done before, etc. The film was written, directed by and stars Don McKellar. The film also stars Sandra Oh, Sarah Polley, David Cronenberg, Callum Keith Rennie, Tracy Wright and Genevi√®ve Bujold. It’s fantastic!

A Thief in the Night (1972)
“That’s right, Jenny, in a way it is free, what I mean is it doesn’t cost anything but your life.” “That sounds pretty expensive.”

This was a Christian propaganda rapture film. Apparently it’s the first in a 4 part series (yeah, I don’t get that either). Plot: “The film deals with Patty, a young woman who knows and has heard the Christian gospel but dismisses it due to her satisfaction with secular life. One morning she wakes up to discover that her husband, a Christian, and millions of others have disappeared. Gradually, Patty realizes that the Rapture, mentioned in the Bible, has happened and she is living in the last days of the Antichrist. A government system called UNITE is set up and those who do not receive the mark identifying them with UNITE will be arrested.” (from Wikipedia). I haven’t seen this film since I was 13 but I did just watch some clips on YouTube and it’s still creepy as fuck. When I was in junior high and attending a local church they had movie nights on the weekend sometimes (ostensibly to keep us off the streets and from getting into trouble, etc.). Because it was a church they usually only played stuff like Charlie Chaplin shorts or other really old schtick whilst lamenting that they could only play that type of thing because it was for families. My friends and I would alternately watch this stuff while passing notes and joking, etc. Basically this was a good way to talk to boys that we only had the chance to see at church. So the night that they decided to play this freaky ass end of the world film was definitely unexpected (and probably would have made younger kids piss their pants). The film stars Patty Dunning, Mike Niday, Collen Niday, Maryann Rachford, Thom Rachford, Duane Coller, Russell S. Doughten Jr. and Clarence Balmer.

The War of the Worlds (1938) (Note: MP3 of audio recording)

In 1938 the now celebrated Orson Welles narrated a radio drama of H.G. Wells’ novel The War of the Worlds about about an alien invasion. They sneakily played it as news bulletins to freak people out. However it aired on Halloween so many people actually knew it was all in good fun. Adolf Hitler cited the panic as “evidence of the decadence and corrupt condition of democracy.” I am from a small town with our own AM radio station (woot!, we don’t need uh anything created past 1906) which used to air this on Halloween. I have no idea if they still do. When I was young and first heard it I had to ask my father about it and it blew my mind. Yes, I have seen the Tom Cruise film adaptation and although many hate it I would say that it’s decent.

Knowing (2009)

“Stay with me. I know how this sounds, but I’ve mapped these numbers to the dates of every major global disaster from the last 50 years in perfect sequence. Earthquakes, fires, tsunamis. The next number on the chain predicts that tomorrow, somewhere on the planet, 81 people are going to die, in some kind of tragedy. “

Knowing is a film starring Nic Cage as a professor who by discovering that a series of numbers has predicted the world’s past tragedies is able to predict the end of the world. Knowing was panned by many people. My guess is that is because people often do not like to watch more intelligent people than them on film. Personally I am no math whiz but highly enjoyed this film. Rose Byrne costars. I should also mention that this film does show catastrophes happening on screen (as the previous films do not).

Omega Man (1971)

“Are you God?” “Let’s find out if he’s even a doctor before we go promoting him, okay?”

Plot: “Robert Neville (played by the late Charlton Heston), a doctor, due to an experimental vaccine, is the only survivor of an apocalyptic war waged with biological weapons. The plague caused by the war has killed everyone else except for a few hundred deformed, nocturnal people calling themselves The Family”. (from So Omega Man is technically post-apocalyptic but I had to include it. The film has been spoofed (awesomely I might add) by The Simpsons. Will Smith also made a film version based on the original book called I Am Legend which has been universally panned and made fun of on many times. I’ve never been interested in watching it. I also really don’t care for how Will Smith rips things off all of the time without acknowledging it.

Little Nicky (2000)

“To the defilement of Earth and the corruption of its people. “

Adam Sandler’s hilarious comedy Little Nicky is more of a fish out of water story about the devil’s son but the reason Nicky comes to Earth is that Nicky’s brothers are trying to bring Hell to Earth. If you too love the late Mr. Beefy, go here. The film costars Patricia Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans, Tiny Lister, Rodney Dangerfield, Allen Covert, Peter Dante, Jonathan Loughran, Robert Smigel, Reese Witherspoon, Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Kevin Nealon, Michael McKean, Quentin Tarantino and Ozzy Osbourne.

Honorable Mentions: The Thing and The Faculty are about the end of one group of people (not the entire world) but that could spread to the whole world. Strange Days (1995) was set on the last day of 1999 (which was another time in the past that people predicted the world would end). Although there are people in the film celebrating or fearing “the end of days” and the film kicks off with Ralph Fiennes listening to a call in radio show with the voice of Winona Ryder as a devout Christian who believes that this is the end, none of the main characters believe in/are addressing this fear.

This list is short (for one of my lists) but I feel no need to pad it because these are my personal favorites and what I consider to be the best. Go here for a huge list of apocalyptic films.


On End of the World Theories
As a guide I’ve been answering the question the question “When is the end of the world?” for years. Today’s (May 21, 2011) prediction comes from Harold Camping of Family Radio Worldwide who goes around predicting the end of the world every once in a while to sell you something. The big date that has been circulating for years is December 21, 2012 which some will tell you that Nostradamus or alternately the Mayans predicted. After answering that question for months I felt a compulsion to research it a bit myself. Though I am now an educated (i.e. I studied many religions before coming to the decision) atheist and former non-denominational Christian (used to attend a Baptist church and prior to that a Lutheran, but leaning towards Catholic, church) I had to know if Nostradamus predicted this.

If you’ve watched any of those History Channel Nostradamus programs you may also think that the guy was pretty fascinating and possibly onto something, as some of his predictions seem to have come true. I don’t have a link for this as I looked it up years ago, but Nostradamus being linked to this date was inferred by another guy who linked it up via puzzle pieces so I wouldn’t put much stock in it.

Christians will tell you that the exact date of their rapture isn’t written down yet, you just have to be ready. Scientists will tell you that the sun will eventually burn up Earth and all of the other planets billions of years from now, so you don’t need to worry.

Check It OutThe Yuppie Survivalists at favorite apocalypse article ever!


posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV


Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)


"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)

(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)


"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.


This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)


"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.


posted by on Movie Quotes, Movies/TV

1 comment

Burlesque is the flashy new musical starring Christina Aguilera as Ali Rose. Ali follows her big dreams from a small town to Los Angeles where she begins working at a theater called The Burlesque Lounge as a waitress. She is dazzled by the shows performed there and decides she will perform on stage one day. During Ali’s time at The Burlesque Lounge she not only becomes a performer but also finds love with bartender Jack, as played by Cam Gigandet. She also has to watch her back around an envious fellow performer. Cher and Stanley Tucci co-star as her mentors, Tess and Sean.

Tess: “What happened to all of the great dancers in L.A.?”
Sean: “They’re all dancing with the stars.”

Tess: “What is she doing up there?”
Sean: “I think she’s auditioning.”

Nikki: “What are you so excited about? She’s your replacement.”

Tess: “When you’re putting on your makeup it’s like you’re an artist but instead of painting a canvas you’re painting your face.”

Tess: “There are going to be all kinds of people, they’ll just want to get close to you because you’re talented.”

Tess: “If you fall off the stage, leg extended, boobs out.”

Sean: “What is Ali short for?”
Ali: “Alice”
Sean: “Alice, well welcome to wonderland.”

Sean: “Alicat you’re up next.”
Ali: “My mother used to call me Alicat.”
Sean: “Did she? That’s so fascinating.”

Sean: “It’s fun being a girl, isn’t it?”

Bonus: Go here to read about the costumes.


posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV


Well I wasn’t sure if I’d just end up rolling this out at the last minute or not. If you read this blog semi-regularly you probably noticed that I had done a write up on all of the movies coming out for quite a few months but then I had some drama in August and didn’t get a chance. I’ve had some more stuff going on during September but I wanted to bust this out anyway. In many areas a lot of these flicks will still be out for a while longer. I’ve also simplified the title since it was getting tricky to come up with them and they weren’t as clever as I liked anyway.

The American-09/01
George Clooney stars in what looks a bit like a B-version of a Jason Bourne movie. I would much rather watch this than one of his more serious flicks in which he tries to teach me about a boring subject I don’t give a damn about. This will probably be a rental for me.

Going the Distance-09/03
This is a long distance romantic comedy starring real-life on again/of again couple Drew Barrymoore and Justin Long. I am a fan of both (okay I’ve been in love with Long since Jeepers Creepers, shh, don’t tell) and the trailers and TV spots look very funny. The film co-stars Christina Applegate, Jason Sudeikis, Ron Livingtson and Jim Gaffigan.

This is the revenge exploitation flick from Robert Rodriguez that is based on his fake trailer for the film that aired in front of the Grindhouse films a few years ago. Of course, Danny Trejo stars. He is backed up by a huge cast including Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Ala, Cheech Marin, Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal. I saw the movie opening weekend. While I definitely thought it was awesome it seemed to lack something I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s over the top fun though.

The Winning Season-09/03
Apparently this is about a girls’ high school basketball team that emerges victorious or something like that. I truly love Sam Rockwell (who is starring in this) but I’m not at all interested in feel good, family sports flicks.

I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix-09/10
Remember how Joaquin Phoenix seemed high and went on and on during a Letterman interview about how he was going to be the next big rapper? From the beginning everyone pretty much agreed that this was a weird gimmick. The film has been described as reaching a sort of Andy Kaufman sort of genius. It was directed by Casey Affleck. I will have to rent this just to see exactly what happened here. I’ve always been a huge Joaquin fan ever since To Die For/8MM.

Resident Evil: Afterlife
This is the 4 film in the zombie series based on the best selling video games series of the same name. I enjoyed all of the films up until now, the 3rd movie ended with me wanting more and I squeed out loud when I found out it would be in 3D. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see it when it first came out. Then our local theater had a problem with the 3D mechansim breaking down when I showed up last weekend to go see it and have never repaired it. So now if I want to see it I have to travel an hour.¬† Looks fantastic though. The film stars Milla Jovovich (as usual) and Ali Larter.

The Romantics-09/10
I had been hearing some good buzz about this prior to seeing the trailer. After seeing it I’m not impressed. It looks like a bunch of independent films I’ve seen about friends who have all dated each other in the past. The difference is this film seems to make the characters too self aware even saying they call themselves ‘The Romantics’ due to their partner swapping. Plus it features a well known cast including Katie Holmes, Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman and Elijah Wood.

The Virginity Hit-09/10
I haven’t seen many advertisements for this but if it’s like any other dirty ‘let’s lose our virginity’ flick it would probably crack me up.

Easy A-09/17
This film has been described as a John Hughesesque spin on The Scarlett Letter. The first time I heard about this film was reading an interview with lead Emma Stone in which she described it as having been really toned down so they could get the rating changed from a R to PG-13. Plus her whole tone in the interview almost made her seem indifferent toward it. If she isn’t excited and spent her time making it then why should I be? Then I saw commercials for it. I’m sorry but a 17 year old losing her virginity isn’t exactly unheard of in our current world of 13 year old mothers. I earn money daily listening to teens and their woes and they are having sex younger and younger. The most common ages that I hear about them losing their virginity is often 13 or 14. Children as young as 9 have told me they ‘do it’ though. Prior to the release Myspace posted a 10 minute preview of the beginning of the movie so I checked it out. I think my main problem is that I like Emma Stone but mainly when she is more down to earth and insecure. From the looks of the film her character may bug mean when she starts fronting. I was also pretty surprised at the awesome cast which includes Malcolm McDowell, Thomas Haden Church and Stanley Tucci. I don’t really buy Amanda Bynes as a goody good anymore but I guess it could work.

The Freebie
-09/17 (Limited)
I hadn’t seen anything about this until I just watched the trailer. The plot is that a bored couple decide to give each other a free pass at a one night stand. I can’t tell if this will be indie gold or boring from the trailer. However it stars Dax Shepard so I’m all over this when it hits DVD.

Jack Goes Boating
This film is lead Philip Seymour Hoffman (who’s always amazing)’s baby as it’s his directorial debut. He also a producer on it. It’s a dark romantic comedy about some misfits which I could either way on.

The Town-09/17
As a big Jeremy Renner fan I’ve been hearing stuff here and there about The Town for quite a while. I’m really glad that it got a large release and I’ll probably check it out in theaters soon. It’s a film about bank robbers directed by Ben Affleck. I’ve heard nothing but good things about it. The film also stars Jon Hamm, Chris Cooper and Blake Lively.

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger
-09/22 (Limited)
This is the latest Woody Allen film. I’ve enjoyed all of his previous films that I have seen and I doubt this will the exception. The film appears to be one of his more light hearted looks at love. It stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Ewen Bremner.

Howl-09/24 (Limited)

It’s a drama centered on the obscenity trial of writer Allen Ginsberg. I’m not familiar with Ginsberg but I hope the film shows much more than the trial as that seems sort of dry. It stars James Franco, Jon Hamm, Mary-Louise Parker, Jeff Daniels and Paul Rudd.

Like Dandelion Dust-09/24 (Limited)
This looks like a really depressing movie about a family whose son was put up for adoption when the father went to jail. Now the father is out and they want him back. It stars Mira Sorvino, Barry Pepper and Cole Hauser.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps-09/24
This is a sequel to the original Wall Street and also stars Michael Douglas. The film seemed fairly unnessecary to me but I did enjoy seeing all of the shots of the sexy Shia LaBeouf suited up. Apparently I now have a thing for well dressed men. Who would have thought? The film was directed by Oliver Stone who some regard as a genius. The only film of his that I’m a big fan of is The Doors though. The less said about W. the better. It’s the only movie I’ve ever walked out of due to boredom. I really felt like it was sucking years of my life away. I thought the original Wall Street was good but not as good as the hype surrounding it. Anyway, this film really belongs to LeBeouf even though it’s Douglas that they are basically using to pimp it. He’s a young Wall Street guy who soon becomes mesmerized by Douglas’ Gordon Gecko. Of course he is also seeing Gecko’s estranged daughter. I was talked into seeing this when I was unable to see Resident Evil 4 recently. The main problem with this movie (aside from the length, ugh) is that none of the characters are likeable. LaBeouf is unabashedly driven but (like most men) wants to impress his girl, she’s sort of an always morose know it all, James Brolin is supposed to be the villain and Douglas starts out trying to make us think he changed (but I think only the most naive would believe that). It was okay but I do not see myself rewatching it anytime in the near future. The best part of the movie was definitely the wardrobe. I recommend reading about it here.

You Again-09/24
In this movie an ex high school nerd finds out that her bro is marrying the girl who tormented her in high school. Then her mom finds out that the mother of girl was the girl who always upstaged her in high school. This does look funny. The problem is that we are supposed to buy the Kristen Bell and ‘The Body’ Jamie Lee Curtis in these roles. Sigourney Weaver and Betty White also star.


posted by on Movies/TV


This is another post for The Film Experience’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot series.

First of all I can’t locate the photo I would choose to sum of the flick. For me it would be when she drops the spirit stick. So I suppose one of the adorable, awkward Bradford pics will suffice.

I have an odd history with this movie. When the film was released in 1999 you would have had to make me watch it at gun point. It was a symbol of everything I hated. I.E. the preppy kids who made my life hell. The fact that those same people fawned all over it at school during the first weekend of release just solidified it in my mind.

Probably a year or so later when it was released on Showtime they were having a free preview weekend. Having nothing better to do I thought I’d watch if for a few minutes and then flip it off. The only cast member I knew going in was Kirsten Dunst (whose films I usually enjoyed). In a nutshell she’s a type A cheerleader who teams up with an outsider played by Eliza Dushku. This gives those of us who aren’t in on the cheerleading world a fresh look at it. So I did end up liking the film. It’s cheesy but fun. The most important thing about it to me was the introduction of Jesse Bradford. I still have a killer crush on him. I also loved the spoof of it in one of my favorites, Not Another Teen Movie.

A couple of years later I was hanging out with my niece (as we often did in the summer). She actually invited me to her cheerleading meeting. She never really understood that my valley girl cheerleader impression (perfected as a member of the pep squad in Jr. High, don’t ask) was at her expense so she enjoyed it. I had to choke back the laughs at her meeting. They actually had made and passed out their own spirit sticks. It was too weird and ridiculous. Yes, I did go to a few of her matches & there was skill involved.

Then in 2005 I attended an Angel/Buffy convention. One of the guests was Clare Kramer. I mentioned the spirit stick thing and she seemed amused but not surprised. I think she said something to the effect of a lot of teams doing that. Tres weird.

with Clare Kramer in 2005. She wanted to do the 'Prom Pose'.

So I have owned the DVD for years but haven’t actually watched it in a while. I guess I’m going to have to revisit it to see what I think of it now. Uh, and then watch Swimfan again.

Related Posts with Thumbnails