Posts Tagged ‘movies filmed in pittsburgh’

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Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a hilarious film by Kevin Smith starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks about two best friends who decide to film a porno together because they are destitute.

I love Craig Robinson.

 

I’m F&cking Seth Rogen!

video made by Rogen and Banks to promote the movie

Funny promo ID I made when the film was released. The site is still up, just click this pic to go make your own.

 

Zack: “That’s actually my fault, I should tell you, I asked for Friday morning off, so, sorry about that”
Delaney: “For what?”
Zack: “I actually just need a lot of recovery time, uh, tonight is me and Miri’s high school reunion, I’m just gonna get fuckin alcohol poisoning”

Zack: “What if you could do it all over again?”
Delaney: “I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.”

Miri: “Tell me this doesn’t rock”
Zack: “It looks like you’re fuckin Ronald McDonald, it makes me want some chicken nuggets.”

Zack: “…no I’m a guy, give me 2 Popsicle sticks and a rubber band, I’ll find a way to fuck it, like a filthy MacGuyver”

Miri: “Is this sexy?”
Zack: “Yeah, in a To Catch A Predator sort of way, it’s pretty fuckin sexy”

Miri: “Look, even though we’re broke and we never amounted to anything we’re still better than these people, right?”
Zack: “No, not at all, we’re probably not even as good as most of em unless one of them’s a crackhead or something”

Bobby Long: “Well listen to you, thank you”
Miri: “No, don’t thank me, just fuck me”

Zack: “…see that right there, the one dressed like Hannah Montana”
Brandon St Randy: “In L.A. we call that Nickelodeon chic.”

Zack: “Who is your demographic?”
Brandon St Randy: “Do you like pussy?”
Zack: “yes”
Brandon St Randy: “Then not you”

Miri: “..that did not sound good, I fuck a lot is what I mean, that didn’t sound good either”

Miri: “You’re gay and I’m on the internet wearing a diaper?”
Brandon St Randy: “Who knew you’d come to Pittsburgh and meet a celebrity?”
Miri: “I’m gonna binge drink now until I pass out.”

Zack: “They fight just like real people.”

Miri: “You jest but these are the exact circumstances that people find themselves in right before they start having sex for money or makin porn.”

Miri: “If it’s so easy why doesn’t everybody do it?”
Zack: “Because other people have options and dignity, which we do not have, which puts us in an amazingly advantageous situation.”

Zack: “Porn has gone mainstream, it’s like Coca Cola or Pepsi with dicks in it…”

Miri: “Nobody wants to see us fuck”
Zack: “Everybody wants to see anybody fuck, I hate Rosie O Donnell but if somebody told me they had a video of her gettin fucked stupid I’d be like ‘why aren’t we watching that right now?'”

Zack: “Okay, you don’t want to fuck a stranger in a porno movie, for some reason…”

Zack: “This guy is amazing”
Miri: “He’s great lookin too”
Zack: “I wanna fuck him”

Zack: “Dawn of the Dick”
Miri: “But how are zombies doing it at all sexy?”
Zack: “I want to eat your brain, and your ass…”

Stacey: “Oh wait, oral, I like anal”

Lester: “Lester the Molester Cockinshtuff”
Zack: “That is the best porn name I’ve ever heard”
Lester: “I can have a porn name? Then I pick Pete Jones.”

Lester: “If I have to fuck a guy okay, but I’d rather fuck a girl”

Delaney: “On the other hand, fuck my wife”

Delaney: “What, Han Solo ain’t never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!”

Lester: “Shit, are we really gonna shoot this in outer space?”

Miri: “like you know what you’re doing down there at all”
Zack: “I actually don’t, where’s the clitoris again? Is it in your ass?”

Zack: “It’s a movie, what could go wrong?”

Delaney: “I just wanted to see some free titties, that’s all, but there’s no such thing as free titties, is there Zack, is there?”

Zack: “Swallow My Cockucinno!”

Zack: “Look at all this production value, just waiting for us to put balls on it”

Delaney: “Don’t do that, the little dog don’t like that.”

Delaney: “I like that guy, but if he tries to fuck that little dog tonight, for real, I’m calling the Humane Society.”

Zack: “More tongue…little less tongue”

drunk customer: “Did you see the game? I was at it. Fuckin Rothis…Rothilsberger, the quarterback, was like, hug it, chuck it, football all night”

Zack: “What an artist, that guy, wasn’t that Kurosawa’s motto, ‘shit goin into other shit’?”

Deacon: “Jesus, what is that? A rumba?”
Lester: “What’s a rumba?”
Deacon: “That awkward movement.”

Miri: “That’s too dirty”
Zack: “Really?”
Miri: “That offends me”

Delaney: “This is the worst porno I’ve ever seen.”

Zack: (after sex with Miri) “That was fun”
Miri: “Yeah, fun”

Delaney: “In my producer capacity I’m shutting down the movie for tonight so we can get a little silly.”

Delaney: “So why don’t they just shoot you with a puck?”
Zack: “What do you mean?”
Delaney: “I mean what does paintball got to do with hockey?”
Zack: “Nothing, I guess”
Delaney: “So ain’t no prizes or?”
Zack: “No, no”
Delaney: “So, what they paying $5 for?”
Zack: “To shoot a Broad Street Bully…in the balls.”
Delaney: “White people are fucked up.”
Zack: “Yup, they sure are”

Lester: “…she said she missed the smell of you or some shit. (sniffs Zack). I don’t smell shit but that probably means she loves you or something.”

Other cool stuff is available at Kevin Smith’s official store, Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash.

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posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV

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Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)

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"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)
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(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
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This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
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The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
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This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
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The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
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This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrQ4Iu8fAs
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)

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"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.

Unknown-(02/18)

This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)

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"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFbBIUcklt8
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2-hiHUh4UQ
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“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
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Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

Shelter-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSAU4-ClVxs
This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.

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