Posts Tagged ‘rated R’

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3.5 out of 5

sex tape movie poster

Early this year I caught the first Sex Tape trailer. I knew from the moment I started watching that I had to see it upon release. It seems like it’s taken forever to come out. Okay, that’s probably just me.

Sex Tape is about a married couple (Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel) who make a sex tape to spice things up. In these tech heavy times though things like this tend to get out quickly.

Let’s get the looks thing out of the way. This is a movie (albeit a comedy) with nudity and simulated sex so it’s not like I’m going to ignore what they look like. The last time we saw Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel together was in the hilariously awesome Bad Teacher. At that time I was super hot for Segel. Since then he’s gone super extreme with losing weight. His drawn face combined with his receding hairline is a bummer. Good news for Diaz fans though, she’s lookin’ good. I just watched her in The Other Woman, in which she was sporting some bad collagen and I’m guessing other plastic surgery don’t s. She’s looking much more natural here. And yes you do get to see her strut around in her undies, so for everyone who enjoyed that scene in Charlie’s Angels you’re in for a treat.

sex tape movie lowe

So, plot? It wasn’t quite what I thought it’d be. The flick opens with Diaz narrating for her mommy blog. Eek. Okay, I have read some, but this didn’t take my fancy. One subplot is that she’s trying to sell her blog to some big corporation headed by Rob Lowe. I did enjoy the Lowe scenes. At first he just seems to be doing his overly nice Parks and Recreation character but later it gets weird and fun.

sex tape movie early sex

Segel is somewhere up the line of the radio DJ hierarchy, which I am not familiar enough with to completely explain to you. Seems like a decent, fun job though. Between his job, her blog and MAINLY, their two children, they never have time to get busy. We know that it hasn’t always been like this since we do get a fun flashback of all of their early boning times back in college. I kind of think Diaz almost pulls off looking college age with her young do.

The movie starts out strained. I suppose it’s since that’s how they are feeling but it’s not so fun, aside from the screwing montage. Eventually (okay, it’s not even a long movie, but I’m impatient), we get to the night that they get down to business.

sex tape movie book

After many funny, failed attempts at getting busy, Segel even says “it’s like we forgot how to have sex”, (even his kissing technique seems to need a lot of work in this scene). Diaz finally gets a great idea! Making their own porn, of course. This is super easy since Segel always has a surplus of iPads due to his hazy job. I did enjoy their preparation, tequila and a vague porn plot, doing the entire Joy of Sex.

The rest of the movie is pretty what you’d expect from the commercials. They run around trying to stop others from seeing their sex tape and end up getting into some fairly funny hi jinx. Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper (both of whom I’m big fans of) costar as their married couple friends. Neither gets that much to do but both are amusing, as usual. I was surprised by some tech stuff in the flick but I don’t want to give it away. There’s also an awesome cameo.

I must admit that I am biased when it comes to this movie. I could picture something like this happening to me in my 40s. There’s even stuff I happen to be familiar with in the movie-3 hour sex sessions, a super long jelly dildo (I didn’t know any better) and YouPorn. So yeah, I’m kind of the target audience here.

Despite that fact it didn’t blow me away. I did enjoy it and it might be funnier on a second viewing but I’m not sure. I’d recommend seeing it during a cheap matinee or waiting for it to hit VOD and DVD.

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Film Inspired Fashion: Cameron Diaz’s Shoes in Bad Teacher
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posted by on Monthly Movie Rundown, Movies/TV

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Okay, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these.

Sanctum in 3D-(02/04)

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"every gesture I make is more important than anything you will ever do"

Ugh, a cave movie by James Cameron. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch this.

The Roommate-(02/04)
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(SNL’s recent spoof of the film)

I’m really excited to see this take on the whole Single White Female genre starring Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester. This one is set at a college. Yes, all of these ‘that new bitch is stealing my life’ movies are pretty much the same but they are the type of cheese that I love. Burlesque’s Cam Gigandet costars as eye candy.

The Other Woman-(02/04) (Limited)
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This is a heavy handed drama starring Natalie Portman as a stepmother dealing with the death of her and her new husband’s baby and learning to be a stepmom to his ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow)’s son. Yeah, I have no interest in ever seeing this. People are actually acting excited to see it due to Black Swan. Yes, Black Swan was amazing but that has nothing to do with this movie.

Just Go With It-(02/11)
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The newest Adam Sandler movie also happens to be the newest Jennifer Aniston attempt at romantic comedy. If you have seen any of her recent romantic comedies (or even seen them advertised) you probably plan to steer clear from this, as I do. The only interesting thing about it is this article that I saw last summer. If the marketing team had any sense they would try to promote Nicole Kidman’s role in this film. I haven’t seen her in one commercial for it. The plot in all of the commercials is Sandler using a fake wife to pick up hot babes. The subplot seems to be about the one upping feud between Aniston and Kidman which would definitely make a more interesting movie.

Gnomeo & Juliet in 3D-(02/11)
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This creepy looking new animated children’s movie looks okay. If you have a kid you may be able to contend with it. It’s a take off on Rome & Juliet played by garden gnomes, one of whom is voiced by James McAvoy.

Cedar Rapids-(02/11) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqFUWbITug
This looks like a little oddball comedic gem. The Office’s Ed Helms starts a new job and has to compete with the boisterous John C. Reilly. Anne Heche, Rob Corrdry, Mike O’Malley, Stephen Root and Sigourney Weaver costar.

The Eagle-(02/11)
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The Eagle is the type of old A.D. battle movie that is great for families or dates because even if you get sick of the battles you can ogle Channing Tatum. Donald Sutherland costars.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-(02/11)
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This is listed only to remind you that if you have a theater that gets overgrown with preteens when trash like this comes out you should probably avoid checking out any movie the weekend that this opens to avoid them.

The Resident-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrQ4Iu8fAs
I stumbled upon this movie by accident. I hadn’t heard or seen anything about it. Despite starring the very talented Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan it looks more B movie than A lister. The theme seems to be ‘women shouldn’t live alone, because they scare easily’. Yes, the basic plot is damaged woman gets a stalker. The film also costars the ever creepy Christopher Lee who I thought had already died. The film is being rushed to DVD on March 29th so you don’t really need to check it out in a theater even if yours happens to get it. My game plan for viewing this would be to Netflix or Redbox it with some wine and popcorn.

I Am Number Four-(02/18)

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"chicks dig flashlight hands"

I’m truly sick of hearing about this teen alien movie because it was shot in Pittsburgh (which I am not far from) and they did a lot of local casting for it. I don’t recognize any of the cast, aside from Timothy Olypant. I suppose they are newbie teen actors, but I could be wrong. I have a feeling that this is going to bank a lot of dough and make teens think that aliens are sexy. Oh wait, I guess I thought they were too when I was that age. Hmm.

Unknown-(02/18)

This is a new mystery action flick starring Liam Neeson. He is an accident and then when he comes to everyone is acting like he is inventing the old life that he remembers. I’ve seen this type of film quite a few times and my guess is that he knows some big secret that they are trying to hush up and drive him crazy or kill him so he can’t expose it. It will probably turn out to be a half decent movie and everyone now knows that if pushed to do so Neeson can kick some ass, evidenced from Taken. The film costars Aidan Quinn (Can someone stop him from aging any more? This is ruining my girl hood crush.), Mad Men’s January Jones and Inglourious Basterds’ Diane Kruger.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son-(02/18)

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"I hope I'm getting paid a lot of money for this"

You mean you haven’t been wondering what would happen if Martin Lawrence taught another guy to dress in drag? Yeah, me neither. Why does this exist? Oh yeah, $$$. Blame people who see all of those Tyler Perry movies for garbage like this. P.S. The lead Brandon T. Jackson is a douche. You may know him as Alpa Cino in the hilarious Tropic Thunder. He’s also one of those C level actors who joins twitter, follows a ton of people and then unfollows them to look popular, very lame indeed. Wow, his twitter bio is so ridiculous that I want to laugh out loud.

Vanishing on 7th Street-(02/18) (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFbBIUcklt8
This end of the world movie stars Hayden Christensen, John Leguizamo and Thandie Newton. I’ve seen some bad reviews floating around about this movie. I think whether or not I will like it will depend on how Christensen comes across. Sometimes I think he’s great in a movie, but at other times I find him bland. What’s really cool is that this movie currently has a pre-theatrical release on Amazon’s Video On Demand. So you can go here and rent this movie right now to watch in your own home instead of waiting to catch it at the movies.

Drive Angry 3D-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2-hiHUh4UQ
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“he broke out of hell…”
This is the newest Nic Cage vehicle. Not quite a revenge movie, but close enough. I saw a preview for it in front of The Green Hornet and it looks B movie fantastic. So schlocky, so awesome and in 3D! William Fichtner costars as Cage’s adversary. Check out the 3D poster on the official site.

“Rated R for strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.”-Oh yeah!

Hall Pass-(02/25)
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Hall Pass sounds awesome on paper. It’s a comedy about some guys who get permission to cheat on their wives. It stars Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins and Vanessa Angel. So far though all of the ads make it look like it falls flat. The film still isn’t rated which usually means that the studio is trying to get a R rating trimmed to a PG-13 so they can make more money. Sometimes movies like this are hilarious when you watch them but they couldn’t show all of the dirty stuff in the ads. Here’s hoping that it gets a R and is actually funnier than it appears. Also, I have always had a huge crush on Owen Wilson and he looks weird in this. I hope the drugs aren’t catching up to his face. Check out the official site for tons of pics.

Shelter-(02/25)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSAU4-ClVxs
This looks dark and interesting. Julianne Moore stars as the psychiatrist to Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ (dangerous?) multiple personalities patient. Reviews for this are pretty good.

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