April Movie Showers

Yes, this is super late. I meant to do this post a couple of days before April started but I got distracted with other entries and sms work.

Clash of the Titans-4/2-(This film had been pushed. It was supposed to open in March.)
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Clash of the Titans is a big budget Greek mythology flick. Of course they had to capitalize on the 3D trend. I haven’t had a chance to see it yet but the trailers blew me away. It’s been getting not so stellar reviews but I don’t care. I used to read about all of that stuff when I was in grade school. Plus it stars the super hot Sam Worthington. Those who have seen it recommend saving the extra few bucks & watching it in 2D. I’m gonna go with 3D myself though.

Date Night-4/9
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Photo is from the April 2010 Issue of Esquire

 

It’s Tina Fey and Steve Carell in a comedic case of mistaken identity. It features a ton of awesome supporting players including Ray Liotta (squee!), Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Mila Kunis, Kristin Wiig and Mark Ruffalo. I would have seen it this weekend if I wasn’t all booked up with work.

After.Life-04/09 (Limited)

This is a creepy looking flick about Christina Ricci as a ghost, or something. It co-stars Liam Neeson, Justin Long and Josh Charles.

The Runaways-4/9 (opened in limited release on 3/19)
The flick about The Runaways starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. It looks pretty good but we still haven’t gotten it here so I guess I’ll have to wait for the Blu Ray.

Kick-Ass-4/16

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As soon as I heard the buzz on this wannabe super hero movie I checked out the trailer…and was disappointed. It just doesn’t thrill me like it’s doing for so many others. As I’ve seen it a few more times in front of films at the theater it’s grown on me a little. I concede that it looks sort of interesting. I’m surprised that they don’t even mention Nic Cage’s name in many of the commercials. I’m a little disturbed by the fact that I’m now attracted to McLovin. Tidbits: Some people are in a huff that the little girl in the movie says cunt. It has already opened in the UK. So while working this weekend I had quite a few showtime requests calling it Kick Arse instead which amused me.

Death at a Funeral-4/16
Yes, there is funny stuff in the commercial for this comedy about a funeral that is a remake of a movie that is only 3 years old. However I get sick at the thought of a funny funeral movie because I’ve lost so many loved ones in the last few years. Believe me, a real funeral is devastating, not funny.

The Joneses-4/16 (Limited)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=achUBX71Fj0
This flick starring David Duchovy, Demi Moore and Gary Cole looks pretty interesting. It’s about marketing your lifestyle to people without them knowing it. It looks like it might have an unnecessary romance thrown in but it might work. I haven’t seen any commercials or trailers for this aside from stumbling across it on the IMDB.

The Losers-4/23
This looks like a fun action comedy. It stars Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

The Back-up Plan-4/23
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Jennifer Lopez thinks it’s still 10 years ago so she decided to put out another romantic comedy and appeared on SNL in a Smash Mouth sketch. Personally if I were hosting I wouldn’t date myself by including a sketch like that. It just reminds me of when she was on top. This might sound negative but I actually really want to see this. I’m a fan of both good and bad romantic comedies. I loved the Wedding Planner way back when but Maid in Manhattan was a let down. Plus I don’t need an excuse to see a movie that makes use of the smokin’ hot Alex O’Loughlin without a shirt. I loved him on Moonight. I prefer the long hair but I take what I can get. It’s directed by Alan Poul of the canceled show Swingtown, which I loved. Plot, who needs a plot? But seriously, it’s about a woman who meets a stud right after getting artificially inseminated. (If I had a nickel for everytime this has happened to me)

A Nightmare on Elm Street-4/30
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I was a big Freddy fan growing up but I think the magic of Freddy Krueger is embodied by Robert Englund. Many people are excited about this remake because Freddy is being played by Jackie Earle Haley whom people loved in Watchmen. It has the potential to be interesting but there’s no way it could take the place of the original.

When They Were Young

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So not too long ago my friend scodal posted this photo of Christopher Walken that was taken when he was young. For like a second I was creeped out. Now I’ve actually had a crush on Walken since the ’90s when he got all uber cool doing the SNL hosting gigs & that Fatboy Slim video. But it still caught me off guard because I had never seen him young before. Well I ultimately thought it was hot and made it my desktop background.

Last night I was screwing around on the net and thought maybe I’d do a search for hot actors when they were younger. I think that many actors are hot at any age but this is still fun.


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Harrison Ford
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I fell for him when they rereleased Star Wars in the 90s.

Jason Statham
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Keanu Reeves
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in the little seen Little Buddha
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Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison
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Val Kilmer’s Official Site

Richard Gere
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Ray Liotta
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Alec Baldwin
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Stephen Baldwin
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Timothy Hutton
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Timothy Hutton on twitter

Jim Carrey in one of my faves, Once Bitten
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Jim Carrey on twitter

Dennis Quaid
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Martin Short in the raunchy Cross My Heart
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John Cusack
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John Cusack on twitter

Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000 (when I fell for him)
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Andrew McCarthy
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Rob Lowe
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My Top Movies of 09

with a wax figure of Hugh Hefner at Madame Tussauds Las Vegas

While reading the endless articles by film critics all over about their top films of the year I realized what bothered me about every article. Average people do not have access to all of those art house movies. Plus even if you live in a big city that shows them (I do not) people who don’t see movies for free have to make a choice. I know if it’s up to me and I have to decide to spend $10 seeing either something that makes me laugh or something that makes me cry, it will often be the former. I think I’m in the middle, I enjoy some weird shit but am also into big popcorn movies. Plus, I usually catch up on everything during the next year. At the end is a list of films that I am eagerly awaiting catching on dvd (as that is your only choice when you live in the boondocks).

COMEDY:

Dance Flick
This was by far the funniest movie I’ve seen this year. Combining a parody film with all of the teen dances movies is fantastic.
Bonus: Follow Shoshanna Bush , Damien Dante Wayans & Marlon Wayans

Spring Breakdown (direct to DVD)
This movie stars Amy Poehler, Parker Posey and Rachel Dratch. I knew going in that it would either fail fantastically or be hilarious. It was hilarious but unceremoniously dumped direct to DVD. In a nutshell it’s 3 adult women who were outcasts in college running around during spring break finally getting to let loose.
Bonus: Follow Seth Meyers

Miss March
If you saw the trailer you probably thought that this looked pretty ridiculous. Well it is, but it’s too funny. A guy goes into a coma in high school and when he wakes up he finds out that his ex-girlfriend is now a Playboy Playmate. Craig Robinson has a great role.
Bonus: Follow Hugh Hefner & Craig Robinson

The Hangover
I don’t have to sell this to you, you know that it’s funny. I went in expecting to like it because I’ve been a fan of all of the principal actors for years. Initially I was worried that it wouldn’t hold up to repeated viewings. I bought it watched it for a second time though and I think that will be a classic for me.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Jeremy Piven can’t get no respect. It seems like this movie was rushed in and out of theaters. Then it was released on Netflix prior to getting a regular release to test sales. That’s sad. It’s very entertaining. I’m still a little surprised that Piven now plays these suave guys when he started out as the loser second banana in flicks but I dig it.
Bonus: Follow Jeremy Piven

Bride Wars/Labor Pains (direct to dvd)
I’m not gonna lie and say that these are not formulaic chick flicks but if are a chick (like me) and would like to indulge in a new one from ’09 you could definitely do worse.
Bonus: Follow Lindsay Lohan

Santa Buddies
(direct to dvd)
Yes, the kids’ movie about labrador retrievers. You can read my Associated Content review here

DRAMA


Spread

Ashton Kutcher plays a womanizer who targets older women but sleeps with basically everybody. Lots of sex and callousness abound. Imagine if Brian Kinney and Samantha Jones had a son then he might be a lot like this. Unfortunately they try to give him depth that doesn’t really mesh but nothing’s perfect.
Bonus: ah, too bad Kutcher’s not on twitter. xd

The Informers
If you are a fan of Bret Easton Ellis’ books and hopefully the film adaptations you should check this out. It would take a far better person than I to analyze him.
Bonus: Follow Bret Easton Ellis

Powder Blue
This is known as that Jessica Biel stripper movie. Of course it’s much more than that if you actually take the time to watch it. I don’t really want to give anything away because it’s better if you have no idea what’s going on. I will say that it’s about a bunch of screwed up people just trying to live. Also the cast includes Forest Whitaker (who always shines) and Ray Liotta (who I have a tiny thing for).

EXPLOITATION

Crank 2: High Voltage
This film is a million times more over the top than the first. The 1st was about a guy who has been poisoned running around trying to keep his heart rate up. Now he’s running around with an artificial heart trying to get his heart back. Everything is completely over the top, the violence, the sex and a weird fantasy sequence. If I hadn’t seen This Film Is Not Yet Rated I would ponder at how they were able to get an R rating on this sucker.

Bruno
This movie is all about fame and homophobia and exploiting that for laughs. It’s not as funny as Borat but perhaps just because you’ve seen the premise from the other film with the whole fish out of water thing. Very graphic.

HORROR:

Drag Me To Hell
I am a huge fan of Army of Darkness and Alison Lohman. I was pretty worried that this couldn’t live up to my expectations but it was amazing. Plus it actually scared me. I had nightmares for 2 nights. Justin Long (whom I’ve had a major crush on) annoyed me despite playing a really nice boyfriend. I have no idea why. I was a little disappointed that there was no cameo by Ted Raimi. This film has layers and subtext. You can do a quick search after watching to find out what I mean. I don’t want to give it away because then you’ll notice while you are watching it.

My Bloody Valentine 3D
I liked the use of 3D and the actors that they chose. The story was kind of TV movieish but still fun. Definitely get the original. It was the better film if you can get over the old hair and clothing styles.

The Final Destination
I’m a fan of the series. Plus they used a lot of 3D in this, much more than My Bloody Valentine. (Note: Unfortunately the 3D Blu-ray was later recalled so you can only buy this 3D movie in 2D.)
Bonus: You can follow Nick Zano

ACTION:

Inglourious Basterds

If you like Tarantiono, you’ll like or love this. I was worried I wouldn’t because it is a “war” film and I hate those. It really isn’t though, so I had no need to worry. I was so stoked to see Eli Roth really acting in something.
Bonus: Follow Eli Roth

Fast & Furious

As most FF fans will tell you the best was the first. Then they started losing people. I’ve never even watched Tokyo Drift because I didn’t give a shit. In the 4th installment we get back to the original characters. Chicks want the guys and guys what to be them. (Or theorize that they are gay because they are jealous). Yes, there are ridiculous feats but come on, that’s what you want.
Bonus: Follow Michelle Rodriguez & Paul Walker

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
I really enjoyed all of the gadgets and Sienna Miller’s character in this movie.
Bonus: Follow Channing Tatum & Marlon Wayans

Streets of Blood (direct to dvd)
It’s a cop movie starring Val Kilmar and 50 Cent. It was right up my alley. Read my Netflix review

UNSEEN
The Slammin’ Salmon
An Education
Dorian Gray
Crazy Heart
Bad Lieutenant
Moon
The Hurt Locker

2010 Update: I eventually saw all of the ‘Unseen’ movies. The Slammin’ Salmon was hilarious, Dorian Gray included tons of quotes from the book (my all time favorite book!) so I loved that aspect of it, I enjoyed Moon, Bad Lieutenant & The Hurt Locker, & I felt that Crazy Heart & An Education were overrated. You need to care about the characters to make a film work & I didn’t even like, let alone care about them. I liked the 60’s look of An Education though. My late brother was a bigger alcoholic than Bridges’ character & I still didn’t feel empathy for his character.