Posts Tagged ‘review’

posted by on Movie Reviews, Movies/TV

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This post is for the Dario Argento Director’s Chair on LAMB. I’m a passive Argento viewer. Unlike many horror fans I’m not like super obsessed with him. When I took a look at his filmography Jenifer is the title that jumped out at me.

Jenifer is one of those horror movies that is truly gross. It’s like a car wreck, you can’t look away. Jenifer was a part of the TV series Masters of Horror on Showtime (showcasing one short horror film per week). I really dug Masters of Horror since they had a different guest horror director each week so there was always something new.

Jenifer was written by the star of the film Steven Weber (adapted from a comic). When I first saw it I didn’t know what to expect. I also didn’t realize how wonderfully cracked that Weber was (then). Of course now that I follow his twitter it makes total sense. BTW-Gregory Nicotero (whom I adore) does the makeup.

Jenifer is a simple, creepy tale about someone who, at first, seems to be a battered young woman but is totally monstrous instead. The film starts with cop Weber and his partner who come upon a woman who is being attacked by her boyfriend. Weber has to shoot him. Despite the fact that the woman has a horrific face Weber feels bad for her and rescues her from the institution that she ends up in. It doesn’t hurt that she has a banging body. Orderlies always escort strangers in on helpless women in the shower, right?

When Weber takes her in she instantly flips out his wife when SHE BITES HER ON THE FACE. No shit. Weber is enamored with new poon so he’s sort of indifferent to the attack. It is shown prior to Jenifer’s arrival that their marriage isn’t perfect since they hadn’t slept together in a while but his wife was all psyched to knock boots until he took her too hard. Wait, that’s possible? (Sorry, Weber on the brain.) They also have a teen son (the runaway on Queer as Folk) but he’s not given much to do aside from ogling tits.

Of course the demonic chick and Weber bang in his car so he sides with her instead of his family even when she rips out his cat’s entrails. Ugh.

Weber goes down hill fast just like the guy he had to shoot that he’d thought was insane. Of course living with and fucking a sideshow freak is enough to drive anyone to the bottom of a bottle. Speaking of sideshows, well, he tries to get her picked up by one but that doesn’t work out. Yep, murder, one of her many murders.

I love this angle.

They flee to the woods to live (I suppose that he thinks this will protect others from her). Of course it doesn’t. He gets a part time job and starts eying his boss (who is blonde with a nice rack, but doesn’t eat people) so of course Jenifer doesn’t sit idly by. Yep, more murder. The film ends with things coming full circle.

So yeah, this movie (along with the classic Zombie Strippers) shows how men can be super swayed by some nice cans despite the chick being covered in blood.

You can watch Jenifer on Netflix Streaming or rent it on Amazon Instant Video.

Don’t forget to check out the other great Dario Argento posts from fellow LAMBs by going here.

You may also enjoy:
Top Zombie Movies on Netflix Streaming
Movie Review: ZPG Zero Population Growth
Don Cheadle as Buck in Boogie Nights-a post for LAMB Acting School

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posted by on Music

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Uno Dos (Songs for Learning Spanish) by Sing with Señor is a really neat album that you can use to teach your family to speak Spanish. Children will love these melodic tunes. I took many Spanish courses in high school and as I listened to Uno Dos I felt like it could also be a great way for me to brush up on my Spanish speaking skills.

Songs on the album are as follows:
1. Uno Dos (One Two)
2. Las Vocales (The Vowels)
3. Pie De Arcoiris (Rainbow Pie)
4. Los Deportes (The Sports)
5. Los Animales (The Animals)
6. Los Días De La Semana (The Days of the Week)
7. ¿ Cómo Te Llamas Tú) [What Is Your Name?]
8. Al Lado De… (Next To …)
9. Once Doce (Eleven Twelve)
10. La Familia (The Family)

In addition to the songs themselves Sing with Senor includes lesson plans and the lyrics to the tracks on their site. These would make great teaching tools.

Sing with Senor definitely offers a fun way for you to interactively teach your family Spanish. I also think that this could be a very neat way to spend time if you teach children in a pre-school environment or babysit sometimes.

Great, basic words could easily be picked up from these songs. My favorite songs on the album are Los Animales, Uno Dos, ¿ Cómo Te Llamas Tú and La Familia. So make sure to preview the songs above and then go here to buy Uno Dos.

Check It Out:
SingWithSenor.com-official site
Buy Uno Dos (Songs for Learning Spanish)
Sing with Senor on Facebook
Sing with Senor on twitter
Sing with Senor on Soundcloud
Sing with Senor on YouTube
Buy Sing with Senor shirts

This post is brought to you by Sing with Senor. This doesn’t affect my thoughts or recommendations on the product.

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posted by on Library

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Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers
by Tucker Max
published by Blue Heeler Books
released on February 5, 2012

Recently humor author Tucker Max made some big announcements, that he was releasing two new books on the same day and that afterward he would no longer be writing funny, frat style books. It wasn’t until the release day of his new books, Hilarity Ensues and Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers, that he made another announcement, the latter book is free.

That’s right, the e-book version of Max’s last book of debauched stories is free…forever. He put it out for free as a gift to his fans. He could have easily sold it for a discounted price and still made a ton of money so this is pretty great of him. Sloppy Seconds consists of stories that didn’t make it into his other books plus a few stories from those books. So checking it out is a great way to find out if you dig Max’s voice and want to plunk down the dough for the other books as well.

I’m a fan of Tucker’s work but he’s definitely not for everyone. If you’ve also had those, “oh my god, I was so trashed, what did I do last night?” mornings then you’ll probably relate a bit. Max is a self described asshole who doesn’t shy away from insulting anyone.

Types of people in this book who he makes fun of include but aren’t limited to the following:
overweight women (a lot, so yeah, be prepared)
dog people
dumb jocks
people who sext
the homeless
Indians
midgets

Overall I really enjoyed the book. It cracked me up consistently. Now I’ll share some of my favorite parts so you can get a feel for it.

Tucker mistakes a man for a woman and exclaims over his hotness.

“I will not apologize for being awesome.”
When a girl won’t tell him what her shirt means he decides to fuck her and then steal the shirt. He does so and then another woman calls him on wearing a tiny shirt.

“Because I have a bullhorn and you do not! Your fancy book learnin’ should’ve taught you that the strong do what they want, and the weak endure what they must. Now bring me your finest meats and cheeses, and be quick about it!”
The bull horn story really kills me for some reason. It’s just about Tucker buying a super loud bull horn and insulting people during an overnight line to buy tickets to a sporting event in college.

“Sexting is fucking stupid: it’s only appropriate for repressed teenagers or attention-starved cockteases, not for grown adults who have actual sex with other adults.” (my thoughts exactly)
When Max’s book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was made into a movie he put his actual number in the movie. Then a ton of girls tried to sext with him. So he would reply to their dirty texts with ridiculous, gross messages. He also sends someone a picture of Levar Burton instead of himself. When she complains that it isn’t him since he isn’t black he calls her a racist. He sends all sorts of other messages as well including calling chicks on their shitty grammar and telling them his penis is small.

He gets into a fight at a nighttime Harry Potter release.

He refers to an “All You Can Drink” night at a bar as “both A Reason To Live and A Potential Way To Die”, so true.

He talks about how pompous and jerky that doctors can be.

He live tweets a blowjob.

Plus there are a ton of other great stories. I definitely recommend getting this e-book for free right now. You can get it from Amazon here or as an iTunes e-book here.

Check It Out:
Tucker Max on twitter
TuckerMax.com
TuckerMax.me

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posted by on Music

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photo by Taylor Herron

Today I’d like to introduce you to folk pop musician Thom Van. He’s a native of California who started playing guitar at age 13. That’s right he sings and plays the guitar. Thom writes his own songs and often does so in the park, where he’s inspired by the beautiful scenery.

You can listen to three demo tracks by Thom above, So In Love, When I’m Weak and Just In Your Head. The final version of these tracks will be featured on Thom’s upcoming EP, Volume 1. The songs are heartfelt and melodious. I could totally imagine them being played in the background of a dramatic scene on a show like Grey’s Anatomy.

These songs are so powerful that I must issue a tissue warning. They deal with the issues of love and heart ache and all of the men who’ve done me wrong. Okay, not that last part but that’s how they make me feel. And isn’t it great when music elicits that type of visceral emotion from you that you can instantly relate to your own life?

Thom’s EP Volume 1 will be released on May 1, 2012. You can pre-order it here for only $5. If you pre-order the CD you will also receive a limited edition autographed poster. That’s pretty neat.

Check It Out:
pre-order Volume 1 by Thom Van
listen to Thom Van on YouTube and Thom Van on SoundCloud
like Thom Van on Facebook
follow Thom Van on twitter
ThomVan.com
Interview with Thom Van

This post is brought to you by Sky Nielsen. This doesn’t affect my opinions and recommendations.

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posted by on Music

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I recently found out about hip hop artist Tha Mic. He’s a rapper from Winnipeg, Canada. Tha Mic has been producing music since age 19. Plus he’s worked with many notable artists including Bad Azz of Snoop Dogg’s DPG and Hussein Fatal of 2pac’s Outlaws.

His current album, Exposed, can be downloaded for free (how awesome is that?) by visiting his site, ThaMicMusic.ca. The album includes 11 fly tracks, listed below. They would be great to throw on for a party or just when hanging out.

1. 9 2 5
2. Doin’ Good featuring Sigma D
3. Plastic Balla featuring Kid P
4. Smoke
5. Money Schemes
6. Golden featuring Originate
7. Sunshine featuring Aye Michelle
8. Wen It Goes featuring Kid P
9. How Much Time I Got Left
10. I Try featuring Chellz
11. Keep Shining

My personal favorite tracks are Plastic Balla, Smoke and Sunshine. Sunshine is the kind of song that would go well in a one of those summertime mixes when you are chillin’ by the pool. It’s obvious that he works hard on both the beats and lyrics to get every song just right.

I definitely recommend that you go download Tha Mic’s album Exposed. Plus he also has some other tracks for sale that you should check out such as Blunt Smoke.

Check Out Tha Mic on his:
Official Site
YouTube
Facebook
twitter

This post brought to you by Jason Duckets. This doesn’t effect my opinions and recommendations.

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