Doh-licious the Simpsons Top Episodes of Seasons 1-12

This is to celebrate the August 18, 2009 release date of The Simpsons: The Complete 12th Season dvd set. Episodes are listed by funniness not airdate.

Season 1

1-1 Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire-The first ep, first Xmas ep & when the gang gets Santa’s Little Helper. I’ve had the video for years.

crepes gif

1-11 The Crepes of Wrath. Bart has to go to France as an exchange student. He’s treated poorly but learns French.

1-12 Krusty Gets Busted-Is Krusty guilty?

1-10 Homer’s Night Out-Homer & a belly dancer cause a stir in Springfield.

1-2 Bart the Genius-Bart is thought to be gifted.

Season 2

2-3 Treehouse of Horror-The first Halloween ep. It introduces Kang & Kodos & has the work of Edgar Allen Poe.

homer car

2-15 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?-Homer meets his long lost brother (voiced by Danny DeVito), who’s rich & helps him lose it all.

2-21 Three Men and a Comic Book-3 friends must share a comic book but greed gets the best of them.

2-11 One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish-Homer eats possibly poisonous fish & has to live his last 24 hours to the fullest.

2-19 Lisa’s Substitute-Lisa gets her first crush on an intelligent, suave substitute teacher. Who wouldn’t fall for that kind of guy as voiced by Dustin Hoffman?

Season 3

Homer was drinking cough syrup way before Lil Wayne.
Homer was drinking cough syrup way before Lil Wayne.

3-10 Flaming Moe’s-Homer invents a drink called the Flaming Homer. Moe steals his idea & his bar becomes quite popular. Don’t knock a drink with cough syrup in it until you’ve tried it.

3-7 Treehouse of Horror 2-Features one of my top favorite TOH skits, The Monkey’s Paw.

3-16 Bart the Lover-Bart responds to his teacher Mrs. Krabappel’s personals ad & strings her along for laughs. He eventually learns to be compassionate.

3-20 Colonel Homer-Homer becomes a country music manager to cocktail waitress Lurleen Lumpkin. She falls for him but will he stray?

3-6 Like Father, Like Clown-Krusty is reunited with his Rabbi father.

Season 4

4-3 Homer the Heretic-Homer decides not to attend church on Sundays, which opens up an awesome world for him.

mrplow

4-9 Mr. Plow-“Mr. Plow, that’s his name, that name again is Mr. Plow.” Homer gets usurped from this position by Plow King, Barney.

4-2 A Streetcar Named Marge-Marge & Flanders turn up the heat in a musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire.

4-5 Treehouse of Horror III-Zombies! & an evil? Krusty doll.

4-12 Marge vs. the Monorail-Has a creepy end & a fun song.

Season 5

simpsons dracula

5-5 Treehouse of Horror IV-Homer sells his soul for a donut, The Simpsons take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula & a gremlin terrorizes Bart on the school bus.

5-9 The Last Temptation of Homer-The new girl Mindy & Homer meet & feel attraction, but is the fortune cookie always right?

5-12 Bart Gets Famous- Bart stumbles into Krusty’s show while on a field trip & becomes the “I Didn’t Do It” boy.

5-19 Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song-After Bart gets Principal Skinner fired they become friends.

5-14 Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy-The new talking Malibu Stacy doll is sexist & Lisa fights to change that. Kathleen Turner guest stars as Stacy Lovell. “When I get married, I’m keeping my own name”.

Season 6

6-1 Bart of Darkness-In this homage to Rear Window, Bart becomes voyeur when he breaks his leg during summer vaction. He not only misses out on the summer fun (The Simpsons get a pool) but also suspects Ned Flanders of murder.

6-4 Itchy & Scratchy Land-Bart & Lisa pester Homer until he takes them to the new Itchy & Scratchy Land (a take off of Disney Land). Of course, everything that can goes wrong does, including the parks robots going on a killing spree. Once the robots change, the episode almost has the feel of a Halloween episode. Plus, who can forget “Bort”?

lisaswedding

6-19 Lisa’s Wedding-Lisa hears all about her future wedding arangements when she meets a gypsy at a renaissance fair. She meets her at first seemingly perfect fiance Hugh when they fight over a book at the library. Things seem to be going well until he puts down Homer. Interestingly enough this episode is set in 2010.

6-6 Treehouse of Horror 5-This episode features a Shining homage, time travel & cannibalism.

6-20 Two Dozen & One Greyhounds-Santa’s Little Helper falls in love in this 101 Dalmations inspired episode. One of the best parts is when Mr. Burns sings a song about making a coat out of the dogs “See My Vest”.

Season 7

marge chanel

7-14 Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield-When Marge buys a Chanel suit at a discount store she gets propelled in high society. Watch as she must “horribly mangle” her suit to attend different events. Eventually she chooses between being one of the it people & being a Simpson. Enjoyed by fashionistas everywhere.

7-4 Bart Sells His Soul-Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for $5. He realizes that everything lacks is poignancy without a soul. He also has a creepy dream that about it.

7-7 King-Size Homer-Homer gains 61lbs to go on disability so he can work at home. A lot of the fun takes place when Homer tries to gain the weight. He gets a little help from Maggie & finds out about the “window to weight gain”.

7-21 22 Short Films About Springfield-This episode was inspired by Pulp Fiction. It’s great because it features secondary characters. It created a trend with my friends about calling hamburgers “steamed hams”.

7-6 Treehouse of Horror 6-The best part of this episode is having Groundskeeper Willie go all Freddy Krueger on the school children. Homer accidently causes advertisements to come to life. Plus it features the very creative Homer in 3D sequence.

Season 8

8-9 El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)-Marge tries to keep Homer from the annual Chili cook off. He finds out & attends anyway. After eating an extra spicy Quetzlzacatenango pepper he ends of having one strange trip.

homersphobia

8-15 Homer’s Phobia-John Waters guest stars as the gay character John who Homer initially likes until he is told that John is gay. Homer tries to make sure that Bart doesn’t become gay by taking him on butch activites. One of which turns out to be a gay steel mill. Of course, Homer eventually comes to accept John but only when he saves his life.

8-21 The Old Man & The Lisa-After Mr. Burns loses his fortune, Lisa helps him rebuild it. Unfortunately, it turns out that he has done so by creating a horrific plant & naming it after Lisa.

8-20 The Canine Mutiny-Bart goes on a spending spree after getting a credit card in Santa’s Little Helper’s name. He ends up buying a seemingly far superior dog named Laddie. When the repo guys show up Bart surrender’s Santa’s Little Helper in favor of Laddie. He realizes his mistake & goes to find SLH, who happens to be with a blind man who gets caught with marijuana. “Without it I could go blinder.”.

8-1 Treehouse of Horror 7-Lisa accidently creates a miniature world, Bart discovers his freaky twin Hugo, who has been living in the attic & Kang & Kodos pose as Bill Clinton & Bob Dole during the presidential election.

Season 9

9-2 The Principal & The Pauper-It turns out that Principal Skinner has been impersonating a the real Seymour Skinner for years because he thought the man had died. His real name is Armin Tamzarian. When the real Seymour shows up, he lives Armin’s life. Everyone prefers the old Skinner & he ends up taking his rightful place back at Springfield Elementary.

simpsons nyc

9-1 The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson-This episode features Homer having one of his worst days every while in New York City. Meanwhile the rest of the Simpsons clan lives it up.

9-8 Lisa the Skeptic-Lisa convinces the town to conduct an archaeological dig where a new mall is being built. The skeleton of what looks like an angel is found & Homer capitalizes on it. In the end even Lisa starts believing in the angel but it turns out to be nothing but a publicity stunt for the new mall.

9-9 Realty Bites-In this, one of the “Marge gets a job episodes”, Marge becomes a realtor. Unfortunately she is too honest to be successful. This episode features Gil & Lionel Hutz.

9-10 Miracle on Evergreen Terrace-This is a classic Christmas episode that involves the family deceiving the entire town after Bart accidently sets fire to the families’ presents.

Season 10

simpsons edison

10-2 The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace-Homer becomes an inventor after becoming a huge fan of Thomas Edison. His inventions are not well received including an awesome make up shotgun. Bart helps him figure out that he had invented useful extra legs for his desk chair. He is overjoyed until he notices that Edison had invented the chair.

10-10 Lisa Gets an A-Lisa ends up cheating on a test after not studying due to a new video game addiction. Homer buys a lobster who he names Pinchy as a baby intending to it eat after fattening him up. He changes his mind & decides to keep Pinchy as a pet. He accidently cooks him while giving him a bath & says that Pinchy would have wanted Homer to eat all of him himself.

10-3 Bart the Mother-Bart decides to hatch & raise some baby birds after accidently shooting their mother. When they hatch they are not birds but lizards.

10-10 Viva Ned Flanders-It turns out that Ned is actually 60 years old & hasn’t really lived a day in his life. So Homer takes him to get crazy Vegas style. They get married to some waitresses during a blackout. The waitresses show up back in Springfield in a later season.

10-11 Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken-The episode features an homage to the Village of the Damned. After the children rebell against a curfew & are punished they present a radio show that tells the secrets of the adults in town.

Season 11

11-17 Bart to the Future-Bart is told about his future (it takes place in 2030) by an Indian Casino manager. Bart is shown to be a bit of a loser who has a band & lives on hand outs from the now blind Flanders (due to lasik eye surgery). Lisa is the president. Homer & Marge have an extraneous storyline that is even mentioned as being such during the show. When Bart helps Lisa his only request is that she “Legalize it”.

tomacco

11-15 E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)-Homer becomes obsessed with challenging strangers to a duel after seeing a new Zorro movie. Most people are intimidated & do whatever Homer wants. That is until Homer meets a colonel who accepts his challenge. The family flees to grandpa’s old farm & Homer becomes a farmer. At first he doesn’t have any luck until he accidentally creates the addictive Tomacco.

11-18 Days of Wine and D’oh’ses-Barney joins AA after seeing a video of himself really drunk, not just “Professor Barney” drunk.

11-16 Pygmoelian-Moe becomes handsome & successful but of course ends up losing it all because of Homer.

11-10 Little Big Mom-While Marge is away due to an injury Lisa has to run the house. After Homer & Bart turn it into a pig sty she plays a joke on them that makes them think they have Leprosy. The end up in Hawaii receiving electric needle treatments.

Season 12

HOMR

12-9 HOMR-Homer becomes a medical guinea pig. While one of the experiments is being conducted a crayon is found lodged in Homer’s brain that’s been there since childhood when he shoved it up his nose. Once it is removed Homer is intelligent. At first he enjoys new activites & bonding with Lisa. He finds out that it’s more difficult to be smart though & has Moe put a crayon back in the previous spot.

12-18 Trilogy of Error-This episode is told from 3 different character’s perspective much like the film Go.

12-6 The Computer Wore Menace Shoes-Homer finally succumbs to the internet craze & buys a computer. He starts a site called Mr. X & posts town rumors. Later he posts ridiculous made up stories but one turns out to be true & he kidnapped & taken to “The Island”.

12-11 Worst Episode Ever-Comic Book Guy has a heart attack from his stressful job & must take time off to recover. He falls for Skinner’s mother Agnes. Bart & Milhouse successfully manage his store “The Android’s Dungeon” until Milhouse is suckered into buying a ton of copies of a new comic book by LensCrafters called Biclops.

12-1 Treehouse of Horror 11-The best segment is the Night of the Dolphin in which dolphins take over.

You may also enjoy:
Top St Patrick’s Day TV Shows On Netflix Streaming-includes info on the Simpsons’ St. Patrick’s Day episodes
Best TV Shows of Fall 2011-includes The Simpsons
Top Stoner Comedies On Netflix Streaming for 4/20-includes a video of Homer stoned

Note: This was originally published on Yahoo on August 24, 2009.

Super Links Plus: 1/24/12

I’d never seen these Glamour photos of Blake Lively even though they are from last summer. The last is obviously overly photoshopped but they are still great.

If you like Lively check out, A lively little adventure-Blake Lively bakes cake pops with the author of the book Cake Pops. So fun.


Aside from the Marilyn hair (we get it, okay) I think this photo of Michelle Williams from GQ is great. Her heartfelt interview is here.

Side by Side Official Trailer (2012) from Company Films on Vimeo.

It’s about the movie industry moving away from film to digital. It’s quite timely since they are now doing away with film altogether. Pretty sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DdeLUA0Fms
Awesome, someone compiled many of the D’ohs! from The Simpsons.
If you enjoy The Simpsons check these out,
The Simpsons Games Archive-tells you about Simpsons games in every format, so neat.
1991 Simpsons Arcade Game Download-You can download and play the classic arcade game we grew up with for free.


So this is pretty creepy. I was in a Christian thrift store the other day and heard the Christian radio talking heads discussing this. It’s an app for Facebook to leave a last status update after you die.


I hadn’t heard this until I bought something on eBay last week and another seller mentioned it to me. Surprised I missed it when it was released.


The first My Drunk Kitchen in HD.


Ms. Marbles does a tribute to Harto’s My Drunk Kitchen. Cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UaEAsfA4OY
“…John Travolta, that white man sure can dance”.
Actress Tanedra Howard talks about her record collection and dances a bit.

http://youtu.be/vdlUn25hNFg
This Is What A Weight Watchers Ad Looks Like. In France.-super odd

Missed a Sundance film? Watch it online-This article points you in the right directions.

Reader Request: Dressing Up While Others Dress Down-about dressing for you, not others. The comments are also great.

superhero recipe: roasted green beans with shallots-sounds super yummy

Mike Judge Is My Xanax-Idiocracy and Office Space are definitely favorites of mine so I highly enjoyed this interview with Mike Judge.

The Peter Pan collar DIY + free pattern-for you crafty fashionistas

A Somewhat Obsessive Guide to All 36 Seasons of SNL Streaming on Netflix-I love SNL and Netflix and I couldn’t even attempt this. Wow, so many episodes. Great job.

Sex and The City Paris-a guide to Sex and the City locations in Paris, France. Wonderful.

Elvira’s Under The Black Cherry Moon Soda-Yes, Elvira sells a variety of soda…and wine.

A Tour of the Mad Men Offices-This was sent to you if you subscribe to the AMC Mad Men newsletter. I love the detail that they put into the set decoration.

24 Edible Fashion Stiletto Heels Christian Louboutin-yum!

25 Things to Know About RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION From Our Set Visit; Plus On Set Interviews with the Cast-Very cool and I love how Michelle Rodriguez keeps them guessing.

Stock Up on Proteins with Carrot Salad-I’m so making this. It sounds delicious.

A Northwest Vintage Wedding: Elizabeth + Dan-Elizabeth of Delightfully Tacky’s beautiful, vintage style wedding

Recipe: Oriental Coleslaw-an easy recipe to whip up if you have Ramen Noodles hanging around, and who doesn’t?

ANATOMY OF A SEX SYMBOL by Sheila O’Malley-Marilyn’s actual sex life wasn’t so sexy.

Beavis And Butthead In Real Life-These prosthetic Beavis and Butthead heads are super creepy.

Interview: Paige O’Hara talks Belle, ‘Beauty and the Beast 3D’-an interview with the voice of Belle, cool.

“What if…” Movies reimagined for another time & place…-Someone redesigned movie posters using actors from other eras. So creative. I would totally watch Bowie in The Big Lebowski.

Exotic Dancers, 1890s-They were definitely more subtle.

‘Reality Bites’ and the Perils of Being a Generation’s Touchstone-an interview with Ethan Hawke about Reality Bites.
How does Troy compare to other characters you’ve played in terms of people remembering him?
How do I put this> Well, I’ll just say it: That character got me more attention from girls than anything I’ve ever done in my life. If a woman I don’t know is coming up to me on the train, there’s a good chance she’s going to tell me that she had the poster of ‘Reality Bites’ in her dorm room.

You know he just wanted to say “I’m set in the poontang department for life”, haha, One of my favorite movies.

Super Links: 01/04/12


“I fully respect & support everyone’s right to stalk others via the internet”, haha I love when Jenna Marbles takes the opposite stance.

13 Simpsons Jokes That Actually Came True-This is great. It’s a list of jokes or plot points from The Simpsons that later actually happened. I believe that my favorites are the comparisons between the Viva Ned Flanders episode and The Hangover, the Kill Bill billboard that sprays blood ala Itchy and Scratchy and that someone actually invented tomacco.

Marilyn Monroe Still Life-a take on the continuing fame of Marilyn Monroe long after her death written by Gloria Steinem in the 80s.

Polone: The Three Ways a Studio Can Screw Up Your Movie Release -producer Gavin Polone (8MM, Stir of Echoes, My Boys, Curb Your Enthusiasm) talks about studios and how they can fail to correctly market a film.

The fight goes on.-an amazingly honest post from The Bloggess about depression. Then check out another mental health post from her that’s a favorite of mine, Notes from the shrink’s office-(this one’s funny though)

The Nostalgia Fact-Check: How Does Labyrinth Hold Up?“Bowie obsessives”-they’ve got my number. Labyrinth was one of the first DVDs I ever received as a gift due to my known love of Bowie.

Never Ever Tell Me To Smile-Yes, I can relate. Random strangers on the street shouldn’t try to dictate your facial expressions.

How to Throw a Party When You’re Broke-Marie of Agent Lover shares how to throw a fun, creative, cheap party over on RookieMag.

The Story of Story: A Traveling Stripper-If you enjoyed the book Candy Girl by Diablo Cody you’ll probably dig this.

Paisley & Leather-an awesome groupie inspired outfit post from Sea of Shoes.

Merry Christmas! Fun Christmas Videos

Merry Christmas! Enjoy these fun videos that I’ve selected.

Christmas Day
“Small plots, big celebrities”
I bet Gary Marshall saw this and said “no, that’s next year’s project!”

I actually don’t think this is as funny as other Drunk History episodes that I’ve seen but it’s cute.

It’s awesome how they brought this sketch back this year.

a true classic

Last Updated: November 2012

Best TV Shows of Fall 2011

Since my Best TV Shows of Summer 2011 post was helpful to both myself and many others I thought that it would be a good idea to share my fall TV picks with you as well. Use it to set up your DVR, Hulu playlist, etc. This is long but I like to do things as comprehensively as possible. I do not have any pull so my opinion of new shows is based primarily on the teaser material available to everyone.

*Clicking the series title will take you to the show’s official site.

*To go check on a specific day or genre (ex. Monday or sitcom) you can do a quick Ctrl F search.

SUNDAY

The Cleveland Show-Sundays 7:30PM ET FOX (09/25) *animated*, *sitcom*

The Cleveland Show is the spin off of Seth MacFarlane’s hugely successful Family Guy. If you enjoy the harsh comedy of Family Guy you should definitely check it out. It’s about Cleveland Brown who got back together with an ex from high school and is helping her raise her children. He usually came across as the nicer friend on Family Guy but gets to be a bit meaner on here. His best friends are loser rednecks (including the voice talents of Jason Sudeikis) and a bear. A neat thing about this comedy is that the women are shown as angry and dramatic in a way that is usually steered clear of by other shows.

Select episodes can be viewed on Fox.com or Hulu.

The Simpsons-Sundays 8PM ET FOX (09/25) *animated*, *sitcom*

I’m sure that you are aware of The Simpsons, which is the longest running animated comedy out there. It’s a personal favorite of mine. I know that it gets criticized in the way that SNL does of “it’s not as funny as it was” but you have to realize that a show will not always be the same. I love the experimental creative leaps they’ve taken in some episodes over the last few years. Of course the show is about the dysfunctional Simpsons family.

Most of the time, excluding the Who Shot Mr. Burns? arc years back, the show doesn’t do cliffhangers. However during the last season finale Ned started seeing Edna. Over the summer Fox did a Pro Nedna Vs. No Nedna poll to see if they should continue dating. I initially was against it but now think that it could liven things up a bit.

Select episodes can be viewed on TheSimpsons.com or Hulu.
For info on some upcoming episodes go here.

Once Upon a Time-Sundays 8PM ET ABC (10/23) *drama*, *fantasy*


Jennifer Morrison (good in Urban Legends: Final Cut , super annoying on How I Met Your Mother) stars in this fantasy about a a town with a fairy tale element. It’s basically about cursed fairy tales characters who live in a small town and now don’t remember who they are. Then Emma Swan (who has a link to them) shows up and starts to unravel the past. Ginnifer Goodwin (looking gorgeous here), Robert Carlyle (always amazing) and Lana Parrilla costar. This show looks really fun. The problem is that ABC never gives their fantasy series a shot. I’ve seen so many promising shows that don’t make it out of the first season. It often takes at least 1.5-2 seasons for any show to really find its footing. The also often move the shows around mid-season (sometimes more than once), which creates even more confusion. I’m a fan of Lana Parrilla but she’s been on so many quickly canceled shows (RIP Swingtown/Windfall) that I’m starting to feel bad for her.

The Good Wife-Sundays 9PM ET CBS (09/25) *drama*, *crime*



I’ve been a huge fan of The Good Wife since the beginning. It stars Julianna Margulies as a very internalized lawyer and the wife of a jackass politician who cheated on her repeatedly prior to the start of the series (Chris Noth, who I enjoy watching play a sleazeball). The show usually features a one of (or sometimes 2 part case) that they have to solve as well as the personal lives of herself and her coworkers/competition. This season she is supposed to be becoming more free and try to worry less about everything.

The cast is freaking amazing and includes Josh Charles (of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead , Sports Night, who I’ve always been a huge fan of), Alan Cumming (who is always so amazing but totally throws you on here because it’s such a different type of character for him), Christine Baranski, Archie Panjabi and Matt Czuchry (of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, actually went to law school when he was younger). Oh and then other totally awesome actors like Michael J. Fox and Gary Cole just stop by sometimes. Many of the cast are nominated for Emmys this year and I hope they win every one of them.

The only thing I must mention that may seem slightly negative is that the show is a slow burn payoff type of show. Sometimes you have to wait a while for stuff to happen. CBS has been marketing it an opposite way. And hell market it any way you want if that will get more viewers and keep in on the air, just don’t be disappointed if you don’t get it.

Select episodes, a 20+ minute preview of the 3rd season & Alan Cumming’s vlogs can be viewed on CBS.com.
Go read GQ’s interview with Matt Czuchry and The Baltimore Sun’s interview with Josh Charles’ family.

Family Guy-Sundays 9PM ET FOX (09/25) *animated*, *sitcom*

Family Guy is Seth MacFarlane’s over the top comedy that you either think is undoubtedly, absurdly funny or you already hate it.

Select episodes can be viewed on Fox.com, Hulu or Netflix.

The Walking Dead-Sundays 9PM ET AMC (10/16) *drama*, *horror*

It’s about survivors of a zombie apocalypse. There are a lot of Walking Dead superfans out there. I do watch it and will continue because it’s the first and only zombie TV show. However I don’t enjoy the type of Lost format where nothing is ever tied up. Plus I’m no stranger to zombie/horror movies and this show reminds me of a type of cheaply shot foreign zombie movie. It’s not that it doesn’t have its moments but I have a lot of criticisms of the show while watching it that I find annoying. The show was created by Frank Darabont. The cast includes Norman Reedus.

Boardwalk Empire-Sundays 9PM ET HBO (09/25) *crime*, *drama*

So I haven’t actually gotten around to watching any of Boardwalk Empire yet. When you don’t subscribe to a channel you have to always play catch up with the different series that they offer. The series stars my teen crush Steve Buscemi as a politician and gangster in the 1920s. The cast includes Kelly Macdonald, Michael Pitt, Michael Shannon and Gretchen Mol. The stills that I’ve seen from this are beautiful.

When I get around to catching up on the series I will be referring to Brienne Walsh’s Boardwalk Empire: A Character Guide Part I.

Pan Am Sundays 10PM ET ABC (09/25) *drama*, *1960s*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFPxyTEcJXU

Pan Am is one of the many 60s throwback shows that are premiering this fall. Are they due to all of us catching up on Mad Men, running out of decades of other fashion choices or wishing for a simpler time when we weren’t quite as confused about just how we should feel as feminists who like to dress up in cute outfits and be objectified?

I don’t know but the luxury (during our horrible, current depression-that is what it is) and weird simplisticness that is emanating from these shows just screams escapism fun to me. The show stars Christina Ricci and a bunch of guys groomed to look like Ken dolls. I can’t wait.

Hung-Sundays 10PM ET HBO (10/02) *drama*, *sitcom*

Hung is based on a wet dream I had about Thomas Jane as a whore. Wait, it isn’t? Well it is about Thomas Jane being a struggling, middle age gigolo and it’s hella good. This year he competes against a younger model, cat fight! Jane Adams and Anne Heche costar as his pimp and ex wife, respectively.

MONDAY

Dancing with the Stars-Mondays 8PM ET ABC (09/19) *reality*


http://youtu.be/qvWN6Mvvr4M
Dancing with the Stars is the type of show that everyone watches and then acts ashamed about. Luckily I have no shame. Ex stars or in some cases people who are almost stars compete to see who can dance while being personable and flirting with the judges.

Going into the show the celebs that I already like and am rooting for are David Arquette and Ricki Lake. However this is subject to change as the show breaks them (yes, it’s a reality show that is part of the fun!). Lake could be seen as this season’s ringer. The show often features someone with at least some dance experience who claims that they forgot how to dance (see also Jennifer Grey, Drew Lachey, um no, it’s called muscle memory) but like the latter I am a fan of Lake’s so good for her.

This season also includes Nancy Grace so all of us who are awesome are really hoping to see her wipeout. Plus Chaz Bono so that the close minded people can bitch about that. Duh, both of these “celebs” are in the running for the sake of controversy. I just really hope that he can get his mom on here in a few years. You know she’s gonna be in the audience, squee!

How I Met Your Mother-Mondays 8PM ET CBS (09/19) *sitcom*

This used to be my favorite show. I used to turn people onto it all of the time. However the last couple of seasons have went with melodrama (who kills Dauber!?, that is just cruel) for no reason. Please stop this and give us the funny back. Even with that it was sometimes funny though. New promo photos like this are really making me wish that they hadn’t wasted the possibilities of the Barney/Robin romance which could have been funny and wait for it…awesome! Instead we got sad depressing. If this season is really all about a wedding and a pregnancy I’m going to find it very hard to stay awake &/or not throw my drink at the screen. This show features the incredibly talented cast of Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Neil Patrick Harris & Alyson Hannigan.

2 Broke Girls-Mondays 8:30PM ET CBS (09/19) *sitcom*

I am not going to lie, this sitcom about a formerly rich but now poor waitress and another waitress doesn’t look all that hot but I’d watch Kat Dennings read a phone book.

Gossip Girl-Mondays 8PM ET CW (09/26) *drama*


The beautifully styled soap opera about young adults in NYC who sleep with and betray each other. This year they are traveling to LA and Elizabeth Hurley is dropping by. The beautiful cast includes Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Penn Badgley, Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick, Kelly Rutherford, Matthew Settle & Taylor Momsen.

Select episodes can be viewed on CWTV.com.
Read the weekly recaps on Vulture.

Two And A Half Men-Mondays 9PM ET CBS (09/19) *sitcom*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA9eaLhxURs

For a show that everyone says that they don’t watch Two and a Half Men has a huge viewership. I became a fan a few seasons in and it’s obvious, frat boy funny. I understand the need for them to replace Charlie Sheen and I like Ashton Kutcher but I kind of wish that they had went with someone a little older, like Hugh Grant. I also thought that they could have just made Ryan Stiles a regular, which would have been awesome. The funny series stars Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones.

Select episodes can be viewed on CBS.com.

Bored to Death-Mondays 9PM ET HBO (10/10) *sitcom*, *crime*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSbDaHZtDsU

I haven’t seen much Bored to Death. I only caught a few episodes on Ion & it didn’t click with me. That may be because they were out of order and everything. It does seem like something that I would enjoy though. Hopefully I’ll catch up soon. Plot: “Inspired by detective stories, A well meaning but struggling writer decides to lead a sort of double life by pretending to be a private detective.” (from IMDB.com). It stars yummy Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson.

Enlightened-Mondays 9:30PM ET HBO (10/10) *drama*

There isn’t much out about this show yet but it seems to be about a businesswoman who snaps at work. Then she goes away to rest up but when she returns she can’t stand the way people behave. I’m not sure about this one yet but I’ll definitely check it out for Luke Wilson. The show stars Laura Dern and Diane Ladd.

You can watch the preview on EW.com.

Castle-Mondays 10PM ET ABC (09/19) *crime*, *drama*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9rdtTUXjcs

Castle is about a detective (Stana Katic) for the NYPD who lets a writer follow her around on cases because he’s adorable. Hey, it’s Nathan Fillion, you would too. I definitely enjoy Castle because of the dynamic between the cast, including Jon Huertas and Seamus Dever. You can’t be a stickler for reality with it though. On basically every episode they arrest & accuse multiple people of murder before nabbing the real killer. There would be so many lawsuits.

You can watch select episodes on ABC.com or Hulu.
Follow Stana Katic on twitter (sometimes she posts behind the scenes pics).

Hawaii Five-0-Mondays 10PM ET CBS (09/19) *action*, *crime*, *drama*

I am super behind on this show. It’s a remake. It stars the sexy Alex O’Loughlin and Scott Caan. Plot: “Steve McGarrett returns home to Oahu, in order to find his father’s killer. The governor offers him the chance to run his own task force (Five-O). Steve’s team is joined by Chin Ho Kelly, Danny “Danno” Williams and Kono Kalakaua. ” (from IMDB.com)

You can watch select episodes on CBS.com.

The Playboy Club-Mondays 10PM ET NBC (09/19) *drama*, *1960s*

(CANCELED. I loved it too. The remaining episodes will air in Canada. They will most likely end up on DVD or a streaming service eventually.)

I love Playboy and its history so I’m really excited about this show. Plus they got Amber Heard who was great in Drive Angry. Eddie Cibrian costars in this drama about the original Playboy Club in Chicago, IL in the 1960s.
Fun Fact: My aunt was a Bunny at the Baltimore, MD Playboy Club in the 1960’s.

Follow Hugh Hefner on twitter.
Playboy in the Sixties on Playboy.com.
Article about the original Playboy Club in Chicago on Playboy.com.
Watch Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel on Netflix.

TUESDAY

Ringer-Tuesdays 9PM ET CW (09/13) *drama* (FULL FIRST SEASON ORDER!)

Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as estranged twin sisters, one rich, the other a recently reformed drug addict/prostitute. Through odd circumstances the latter ends up posing as the former. I watched the pilot and enjoyed it. It’s interesting to see how she has to react to all of her friends, acquaintances, etc. while not knowing what’s been going or how her sister would normally react. The scorchingly hot (or is it just me?), Kristoffer Polaha (Mad Men, Valentine, North Shore) costars.

Visit this site for spoilers.

New Girl-Tuesdays 9PM ET FOX (09/20) *sitcom*


“I’ll probably be watching Dirty Dancing 6 or 7 times…a day”

Zooey Deschanel stars as a girl who just got dumped and decides to live with 3 male roommates (1 is Damon Wayans Jr. from Dance Flick, yay!).

New Girl is well, uh, it’s okay. It’s basically a hipster sitcom. The problem with that is that hipsters (as far as I understand them, which isn’t well) are trying to be cool all of the time with a border of ironic. To be extremely funny you have to be willing to look like a complete idiot. If you hold back and then pull out the cutie pie look at the end it diminishes the funny.

I don’t have a problem with Deschanel. I’m pretty much in the middle when it comes to her but many people either love her to pieces or hate her with a firey vengeance (yeah, she seems to elicit a strong response). I feel that she’s basically created a strong image of herself. I’m not saying she’s fake but that her presence is probably an exaggerated version of who she is.

The first episode is about how she’s trying to get over a break up and is probably easy for people to sympathize with. I find the main actor somewhat off putting just because it seems less like he’s trying to get her over a breakup and more like he’s trying to teach her to be a woman, which is insulting. Justin Long will be making an appearance in an upcoming episode.

The pilot for new girl will be available for free on many sites prior to the show airing, including iTunes and Hulu (both right now).

Dancing with the Stars (results show)-Tuesdays 9PM ET ABC (09/20) *reality*


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5A1vSTK76s
On Tuesdays they do the results show. As the season goes on it gets more and more drawn out. They basically just rehash all of the dances/drama from the previous night. If you are watching a recording of it and are in a hurry or annoyed it’s often a good idea to just fast forward to the end to see who was eliminated.

Body of Proof-Tuesdays 10PM ET ABC (09/20) *crime*, *drama*

Dana Delaney stars as a former MD who helps solve crimes by examining dead bodies. Delaney is always great. The talented Jeri Ryan costars.

Watch select episodes on ABC.com.
Follow Dana Delaney on twitter.

Unforgettable-Tuesdays 10PM ET CBS (09/20) *crime*, *drama*


Poppy Montgomery stars as a woman who recalls every moment. This means that she is really great at helping solve crimes but that it takes a horrible toll on her as well. Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck) costars.

WEDNESDAY

America’s Next Top Model-Wednesdays 9PM ET CW (09/14) *reality*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENlKZasWJaI

You’re probably already familiar with ANTM. This is Tyra Banks’ reality competition to ostensibly find top models. Despite the show never producing a true top model it’s still one of my favorites. The girls are often subjected to ridiculous challenges and then they let that stress out by, say going batshit on another girl who steals her food. Of course my favorite parts are when they are actually modeling. Sometimes they get some really beautiful shots.

This cycle is different because it’s the All-Stars cycle. They enlisted a bunch of girls who lost at other cycles to compete. Of course they choose some big personalities, as well as some girls who take get great shots to amp up the drama. I chose to use a photo of Lisa because she was very memorable. She was often loudly drunk and doing ridiculous things. To shake things up a bit they are also having more celebrity judges. Plus Nigel Barker has hair now! What?!? Awesome.

For more on this cycle’s contestants I suggest visiting Small Screen Scoop and Buddy TV.

Modern Family-Wednesdays 9PM ET ABC (09/21) *sitcom*

Modern Family is about a father (Ed O’Neil) and the lives of he and his adult children and their children. Back before the show came out I didn’t want to give it a chance because it’s about families. However as we all now know it’s freaking hilarious and seems to just get funnier as it progresses. Ty Burrell (love him!), Sofia Vergara (so beautiful people probably can’t look directly at her), Julie Bowen, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland and Jesse Tyler Ferguson costar.

Watch select episodes on ABC.com or Hulu.

I Hate My Teenage Daughter-Wednesdays 9:30PM ET FOX (11/30) *sitcom*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvV6dHgzxhk

I really love the premise of this, 2 grown women who were unpopular in high school now have bitchy teen daughters to deal with. So much so that I’ll take the leap and ignore the fact that Jaime Pressley has always been freaking gorgeous. I’m not crazy about the canned laugh track in the preview and it seems a little too slapsticky but I bet that it will be tinkered with a bit and improve.

American Horror Story-Wednesdays 10PM ET FX (10/05) *fantasy*, *horror*

American Horror Story is from Ryan Murphy (Nip/Tuck) and stars Dylan McDermott (who I read in an article may be freqently nude, yum) and Connie Britton. The series is about a family who moves into an old creepy house for a fresh start. It feels very Amityville Horror meets a made for TV Stephen King movie. The visuals look really freaky, ala The Cell. Definitely gonna check this one out.

Revenge-Wednesdays 10PM ET ABC (09/21) *drama* (Full First Season Order)


A young woman infiltrates a wealthy community to try to set up a way to enact revenge for her family. I’m not really sure on this one but I want to check it out. It could just be the constant ads brainwashing me though.
Note: I quit watching this after a couple of episodes as it was boring me into a coma.

THURSDAY

 

Charlie’s Angels-Thursdays 8PM ET ABC (09/22) *action*

(CANCELED)


So it’s about 3 women who “work for Charlie”. This is of course a remake of the original Charlie’s Angels show. It was produced by Drew Barrymore who starred in & put together both of the Charlie’s Angels films. Since the second film there have been rumors of a third film but I guess that she was never able to get that off of the ground so we are getting this instead. The only cast member that I’m familiar with is Minka Kelly who I enjoyed in The Roommate. I’m basically going to pretend that I’m watching She Spies, cool, okay? I’ll be hoping for a lot of costume changes.

The Big Bang Theory-Thursdays 8PM ET CBS (09/22) *sitcom*

It’s a comedy about a bunch of (mostly) PHDs. I thought that the season ending cliffhanger of Penny and Raj (whose social anxiety is so bad that he can only talk to women, at all, while drunk) get drunk and hook up was pretty crazy. Good crazy, bad crazy, I’m unsure. However I just wish that they’d sort of mix this show up a bit. I was really into it in the beginning but them it seemed to become only about everyone getting girlfriends, which is like lots of other shows and not as imaginative as it was.

Watch select episodes on CBS.com.

Parks and Recreation-Thursdays 8:30PM ET NBC (09/22) *sitcom*

This show just seems to get increasingly funnier the long that it goes on and the more that we learn about all of quirky characters. It’s about a bunch of people who work at a town hall in a fictional town in Indiana. The last season ended with Amy Poehler and Adam Scott’s characters finally getting together but now their relationship is in peril because Poehler’s Knope is going to run for office. Ron Swanson FTW!

You can watch select episodes on NBC.com, Hulu or Netflix.

Rules of Engagement-Thursdays 8:30PM ET CBS (10/20) *sitcom*
(was on Saturday 8PM ET CBS (10/08)-moved to Thursday nights)

Rules of Engagement is always funny. It gives me a way to see David Spade every week, which would be enough but on top of that everyone else on it is also great. The cast includes Patrick Warburton, Oliver Hudson and Bianca Kajlich.

It’s mainly about the differences between men and women. I’m sort of upset that CBS moved it to Saturday though because that’s where shows go to die. On the plus side though you can watch this and then many, many hours later watch SNL.

HIMYM could take some clues from Rules in the area of players. They routinely diminsh Barney when he’s dealing with relationship issues while Spade’s Russell on Rules is a player but even when he’s seeing someone it’s still funny. In fact, it’s often funnier.

You can watch select episodes on CBS.com.
Follow the cast on twitter.

The Office-Thursdays 9PM ET NBC (09/22) *sitcom*

Who will be the new manager of The Office? Um, as long as it stays funny what’s the difference? Seriously though I’m just glad that we don’t have to drag out the schmaltzy Michael’s leaving stuff any longer. A great ensemble sitcom that is basically consistently funny.

Watch select episodes on NBC.com, Hulu or Netflix.

Whitney-Thursdays 9:30PM ET NBC (09/22) *sitcom* (FULL FIRST SEASON ORDER!)

Whitney Cummings gets every comedian’s dream with her own sitcom. The problem might be that it’s on network television and she is very filthy so I’m not sure how much she will be able to get in. The preview is uneven but when she’s funny she’s very funny. The loose “plot” (to have something to make jokes around) seems to just be about her dating Chris D’Elia. I totally miss him on Glory Daze and it only ended earlier this year. Hopefully they both get to be outrageous and bounce shit off of each other because if he has to play her straight man that will suck. So yeah, I’m hoping that it will be really funny, not censored too much and last.

Watch Whitney Cummings: Money Shot stand up special on Netflix.

Bones-Thursdays 9PM ET FOX (11/03) *crime*, *drama*

Bones is a procedural crime drama whose sparks comes from the chemistry between David Boreanaz‘s cop character and Emily Deschanel’s forensic anthropologist.

Watch select episodes on FOX.com, Hulu or Netflix.
You can check out a spoiler here.

Grey’s Anatomy-Thursdays 9PM ET ABC (09/22) *drama*, *medical*

Grey’s is a soapy medical drama that’s good if you don’t worry too much about the patients. It has a huge ensemble cast that includes the gorgeous Eric Dane.

Watch select episodes on ABC.com, Hulu or Netflix.

Person of Interest-Thursdays 9PM ET CBS (09/22) *drama*


Plot: “Centers on ex-CIA hitman and a scientist who team up to prevent crimes before they happen. ” (from IMDB.com). This looks like a pretty cool concept. It stars the talented James Caviezel.

The Secret Circle-Thursdays 9PM ET CW (09/15) *drama*, *fantasy*, *horror* (FULL FIRST SEASON ORDER!)

This is sort of a preppy TV version of The Craft. I will be checking it out to see how they will be using Gale Harold. Ah, using Gale Harold, wait what was I talking about? Seriously though, even if I hate it I will fast forward to the Gale Harold parts. He had a good role on last year’s Hellcats so I guess the CW decided to keep him in their sights due to that.

30 Rock-Thursdays 10PM ET NBC (early 2012) *sitcom*

Truly hilarious sitcom. Everybody on it is great. It’s about a variety show set at 30 Rockefeller Plaza in NYC, ala SNL. They often make inside jokes about the show and the companies that own the show, which is pretty awesome. Stars Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.

You can watch select episodes on NBC.com, 30 Rock or Netflix.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia-Thursdays 10PM ET FX (09/15) *sitcom*

I pretty much avoided watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia until this summer because I already have to many shows to watch. It’s quite ridiculous and funny. It’s about a group of friends who run a bar in Philadelphia.

You can watch select episodes on Hulu.

Prime Suspect-Thursdays 10PM ET NBC (09/22) *crime*, *drama*


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGuaQRY4-aQ
Maria Bello stars as a ballsy NYPD detective. Great actress.

Private Practice-Thursdays 10PM ET ABC (09/29) *medical*, *drama*

Private Practice is the spin off of Grey’s Anatomy starring Kate Walsh and Tim Daly. It would be disingenuous to go further as I haven’t watched it in forever. That’s just due to having to make programming choices though. It’s a decent show.

Watch select episodes on ABC.com or Hulu.

The Mentalist-Thursdays 10PM ET CBS (09/22) *crime*, *drama*


He solves crimes by being perceptive. I don’t watch The Mentalist anymore but I like knowing that the super hot Simon Baker (Sex and Death 101, Something New) is there should I decide to restart. Robin Tunney costars.

FRIDAY

Nikita-Fridays 8PM ET CW (09/23) *crime*, *action*, *drama*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBWcZo1-isE
Plot: “Nikita is a trained assassin gone rogue trying to stop a secret U.S. agency known only as Division from recruiting deeply troubled teenagers and training them to be assassins.” (from IMDB.com). Just a great show with a great cast. Maggie Q, Shane West and Lyndsy Fonseca star.

Watch select episodes on CWTV.com.
cast twitter feed
Follow director Jeffrey Hunt on twitter, he posts set pictures.
Check out the time my name was on Nikita.

A Gifted Man-Fridays 8PM ET CBS (09/23) *medical*, *drama*, *fantasy*


Patrick Wilson (Barry Munday, Hard Candy) stars as a doctor who starts seeing a ghost. I’m ambivalent about this one thus far. I will check it out to see what Wilson does with the role.

Grimm-Fridays 9PM ET NBC (10/21) *fantasy*, *crime*, *drama*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh3rFsv_WSE

This one seems to involve fairy tales gone wrong that they need to investigate. So it’s putting me in mind of a serious Special Unit 2. I’m pretty stoked about it even though it seems like the type of show that could easily be canceled as I get very into it.

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live-Saturdays 11:30PM ET NBC (09/24) *variety*

This year SNL is in its 37th season. The current cast includes Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, Kenan Thompson, Seth Meyers, Kristen Wiig, Bobby Moynihan, Abby Elliott, Jay Pharoah, Nasim Pedrad, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain and Vanessa Bayer. So far the hosts/musical guests announced for this season include: Alec Baldwin with Radiohead (09/24), Melissa McCarthy with Lady Antebellum (10/01) and Jimmy Fallon with Michael Buble (12/17). There is no way for me to accurately describe how much I love Saturday Night Live (every cast/season) so I won’t try. Just watch it.

Watch select episodes on NBC.com, Hulu or Netflix.

BUY

LAST UPDATED: November 2011