Posts Tagged ‘the muppets’

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A while back I happened to be browsing the biographies section of our local library. I was mainly looking for author bios but a brightly colored book stuck out. Grabbing it off the shelf my inner 5 year old was giddy. The book was Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life. I was in awe, I was excited, I was confused.

The book was published in 1983 (the year of my birth!) and was written as told to Henry Beard (aka by him, since she’s a muppet). Apparently he was one of the founders of the National Lampoon magazine.

The crazy thing is that it’s an awesome book. As I repeatedly perused the pages I knew that had to share it with you guys. It’s funny, empowering to women (odd since it’s by a man in the early ’80s) and written with an adult tone. Though tempting I did not scan the entire book (also plagiarism, ahem) but I wanted to highlight some key parts.

Now let’s bask in the wonder of Miss Piggy’s wisdom, aka one of my role models while growing up (which also includes Dolly Parton, hmm, no wonder I’m a bottle blonde).

1. Complexion Perfection


Miss Piggy advises a simple skin care regime of basically washing your fae with water, admiring it and then eating candy, how can you go wrong?

Yes, tanning is bad for you, blah, blah, blah. If you’re saying that you never do it though, you are lying. She advises tanning in moderation as Kermit has been known to go from green to blue with too much exposure.

2. Depression

Obviously not for serious depression but if you have a bit of the blues think about things that could be worse (see above). No TV, the horror!

3. “Dieting”

(please read her scale)
Sure you could diet but it’s restrictive and not at all fun, besides you probably burn some calories just being your amazing self, right?

4. Have a Little Fun (ex. Spin the Bottle)

This is actually under party planning advice but I just needed to share that somewhere out there muppets are playing spin the bottle. BTW-a quick spin the bottle tip from moi? Don’t let it evolve into groping. The whole group dynamic goes down the toilet.

5. Exercising

If you’re bf could actually exercise for you that would be amazing. Yes, you can exercise but don’t forget about all of the above activities you may do that already burn calories.

6. How to Model

Modeling is actually under exercise. I know that sounds ridiculous but there have been times that I woke up the next day after taking photos and wondered why does this muscle hurt? Oh yeah, I was crouching down for that perfect shot. These are some key pin up looks that I recommend you try ASAP. So fun!

7. Choosing a Career (based on the clothes)

Before Elle Woods, Miss Piggy also considered a career in law but the robes are just not flattering. She’s a wonderful model but she isn’t into actually dieting so she also rules that out. The underground food critic option sounds like a good choice for her, though I abhor the outfit.

In case this sounds like an odd way to choose a career I must tell you a tale. As someone who has always been fascinated by fashion my father once remarked after seeing me browsing a Newport News catalog, “you can wear suits like that every day if you become a secretary”. Surprisingly I was a teen in the 90s, not the 40s, I know, I know.

8. Cooking

As any modern woman of the 80s, or 90s, or whatever the hell you call the decade that we currently reside in, who the fuck wants to cook? Not moi. Order takeout instead and save your energy for after dinner smooches.

The message that you take away from this book is surprisingly better than any actual, serious self help book I’ve ever read. Don’t take life so seriously and have some fun!

FYI-This book is out of print (sigh), so most people are gouging the price of it.

or you can try eBay

You may also enjoy:
Super Links: 11/20/11-featuring Miss Piggy in a punk rock look from MAC
Movies Quotes: Disney’s Tangled
Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Beauty and the Beast

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The Betty Crocker Facebook page recently posted this photo of Betty White from Her 90th birthday!

Model Adrianne Curry is the face of this new pheromone fragrance. I don’t know if it works but the promo photos are gorgeous.


Yes, a bar in England is selling dog beer, so cute! (non-alcoholic)


Jenny Wade on WhoSay
Jenny Wade (The Good Guys) posted this cute video clip from her upcoming series The Wedding Band on twitter recently.

HOW DO YOU WRITE A JOE SCHERMANN SONG – Official Soundtrack Preview (Feature Film Musical) from Gary King on Vimeo.

Gary King released an Official Soundtrack Preview Video for his film How Do You Write A Joe Schermann Song? You can visit the official site here. You can read my previous posts on this upcoming film here and here.


Have you seen Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show? You should definitely be watching it.

http://youtu.be/qx8dLJ3kO84
Ah, Jake Fogelnest who I recently rediscovered. You can watch his web show every Friday night at 7PM ET here-BTW-Sometimes I awkwardly watch it with my webcam on (it’s on Stickam so you can turn your cam on and the host and room can see you too).


Recently Improv Everywhere had a No Pants Subway Ride. It seems pretty fun. Tear-Drop NYC attended. You can go here to see more photos from the event in his Facebook album or here on Examiner.com.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VanH5AKC8KA
“my son, the rockstar butler”
and a great interview with Eldard about the film is here on iamrogue.com


Jenna Marbles talks about why girls hate each other. This is one of her more serious videos.


killer, a takeoff of House of 1000 Corpses using Muppets clips


I had no idea that Fairuza Balk sings. She’s good too.

Tear-Drop – Quick Top-40 / Hip-Hop / Urban / Mainstream Mix (1.13.2012) (LQ) by TearDropNYC-his newest mix

Soho Grand Hotel’s Black & White Masquerade Ball-Mena Suvari looks amazing

By Isaac Cordal in Barcelona, Spain-a very cool series of photos by an artist using sculptures of small people set around a city.

James Franco’s ‘Francophrenia’ to Have World Premiere in Rotterdam-Franco used footage from General Hospital to make a “humorous psycho-thriller”. Aha! That’s what he was doing guesting on a soap. He couldn’t just do it seriously, could he?

Being Mad on Twitter-Margaret Cho explains why she had to go off on a couple of douche bags who insulted her when she posted a picture of her new ass tattoo on twitter.

Sennett Bathing Beauties, 1915-neat

Crimson Raider Cocktail Recipe-this drink recipe includes blackberries and sounds super yummy.

Scenes from a Los Angeles scifi convention, 32 years ago-the comments on this are great too

Exclusive: Quentin Tarantino’s favorite films of 2011 & more!-neat!

The Part of a Movie Where the Girl Gets a Make-Over-I love movie makeovers. The makeover in Jawbreaker is so astonishing that the first time I saw it I was unsure if Judy Greer played both the before and after of Fern Mayo.

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FAO Schwarz Muppet Whatnot Workshop-You can order your own custom muppet. It’s $99 but that doesn’t actually seem too bad considering that it’s a freakin’ muppet. How neat. I designed this one just for fun.

Sabrina & Salem: Together Again-Melissa Joan Hart and Nick Bakay star in this hilarious video.

My Drunk Kitchen, Ep. 12: Pizza-pizza, it’s the best

What Girls Do When They’re Drunk-Jenna Marbles being hilarious, yet accurate, as per usual.

Lust for Love Movie Facebook page-Basically everyone who was part of the cast of the amazing Dollhouse (aside from Eliza Dushku), including Enver Gjokak, Dichen Lachman, Fran Kranz, Miracle Laurie and Maurissa Tancharoen, raised money via Kickstarter to make an independent romantic comedy (how did I miss this campaign?). So cool. FYI-they were casting extras recently on there too. Plus there are a bunch of behind the scenes pics.

Ice Cube Is Bringing Friday Back!!-They are officially making a new Friday movie, very cool.

Lushworthy Creations: “Lush Cider” (Created Using Conjure Cognac & Smirnoff Whipped Cream) Recipe-This sounds so yummy. Unfortunately I live in a police state that has outdated liquor laws so there isn’t much selection. That means that, no, no one around here sells Ludacris’ Cognac (which I’ve been wanting to try forever). Ludacris even tweeted about this recipe, so it’s LudaApproved!

Want to ring Charlie Sheen for a chat? Here’s his number-Some brave souls called the number, read/watch what happened.

I Played Phone Tag With Charlie Sheen-I normally would never link you to Jezebel (yuck) but this is pretty interesting and I came across it after reading the above post.

“Dear Alec Baldwin…”-He makes some good points about Alec Baldwin, his recent airline complaint and public perception versus the characters that an actor plays.

Hobo drink a too much from David Arquette’s twitter. It’s a video of him basically just playing with some Christmas figures. Maybe is amuses me because my sister and I used to do that as kids.

The 50 Best Animal Photos Of 2011-If you love animals then check these out, a mix of adorable and sad shots.

Vegan, Sugar Free, Carrot Cake Cookies Recipe-These sound very tasty.

Happy 51st Julianne Moore. What’s Next?-If you are a fan then you should definitely read this (and Nathaniel’s interview with her from 2010 that he links to).

Nicki Minaj Barbie doll: Would you buy one for your kids?-I don’t have a dog in this fight (I’m not a mom) but this doll freakin’ adorable. They should mass market them.

Best $2k I Ever Spent! Iggy & The Stooges Rock The Palladium Like Zombie Kings-espouses how Iggy is still super awesome in concert.

First Look: Angry, Trident-Wielding Perseus from ‘Wrath of the Titans’-I am a fan of Clash of the Titans so I am definitely psyched about this sequel.

Stocking Stuffers: 13 Writing Tips From Chuck Palahniuk-Hey fellow writers, here are some great tips from one of my favorite authors.

The importance of being alone-a good read. I’ve been alone (not always by choice) much of my life but I have female friends who never do stuff alone and they always tell me when they do because they know that I will be proud of them. FYI-You do need to be prepared if you are heading somewhere with a lot of misogynists (ex. dive bar) because they may insult you, just a heads up (it does happen). I rarely have problems at the theater or restaurants though.

The Lords of Salem-Rob Zombie has a new horror movie coming out next year about a radio station. The cast includes Sheri Moon Zombie, Dee Wallace, Billy Drago, Ken Foree, Bruce Davison, Christopher Knight, Michael Berryman, Sid Haig, Patricia Quinn, Clint Howard and Udo Kier.

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I’m a fan of the link round ups that a lot of bloggers do to share cool posts and other happenings so I’m giving it a shot today. I haven’t done this before. The closest I’ve come is posting the IFB round up when I’ve been it or last year’s infrequent series Web Oodles. That was more of a wrap up of entertainment info though with sporadic links thrown in though.

The Best Time I Didn’t Sit Next to Harrison Ford by Kelly Pippin.-This is great. It’s about a woman who had a huge crush on Harrison Ford in Jr High due to the rerelease of Star Wars (hey, me too!). Then she met him out of the blue one day. The comments are good too.

Pictures of the day: 1 November 2011-A photographer named Steve Jones took a photo of whale sharks and Indonesian fishermen working together in harmony. This is a really cool photo.

Hats Off!-A woman talks about her hat collection. Yay, hats!

15 Fun Things To Do When You’re Drunk-because you shouldn’t have to come up with your own ideas when you’re already drunk.

Madonna Unbound in W Magazine-I came across this photo shoot of Madonna from 2003 and I really dig it.

amazing pumpkin pie-A yummy vegan pie recipe for Thanksgiving that Alicia Silverstone recommends.

The Muppets Deluxe Overhead Latex Mask, Statler-Are you going to see the new Muppets movie? If so wear this and scare the hell out of the little kids in attendance (and many adults as well).

Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts-These look really good. Unfortunately they were sold out when I tried to buy some recently.

My Mad Men Bachelorette Party! -Elizabeth of Delightfully Tacky had a Mad Men themed bachelorette party!

Kemper Pedic Bed-I loved Jason Segel’s appearance on SNL last night. Here’s one sketch to wet your appetite for more. I was so happy that he was in a bunch of the sketches (hey not all hosts do that, I think that they get overwhelmed). The full episode is here.

Our lives, in photoboothsThe Bloggess posted her personal photobooth strips from the last 8 years. It’s a neat idea.

MAC for Miss Piggy Eyeshadow Swatches, Photos, Reviews-MAC put out a small Miss Piggy line because of the new Muppets movie but the reviews are not good.

How I Met Your Mother Happy Slapsgiving Men’s T-Shirt-Wear this tee on Thanksgiving, which is time when we all gather to give slaps.

Santa Hat Mustache Christmas Ornament-Your tree needs this.

Adam Scott on Conan-I’m not a fan of Conan’s current show but this was pretty good. I enjoyed how Scott talked about his early auditions.

Exclusive: Concept Art from Fresnadillo, Bradley Cooper’s The Crow-The new Crow movie with Bradley Cooper has dropped Cooper as well as others from the project. These are the drawings of what his character could have looked like. They’re pretty fugly for the most part.

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